This is the beginning of my "blog". I'm nervous,...
This is the beginning of my "blog". I'm nervous, anxious, and excited. I started this quest about 3 years ago. My breast seemed to start growing after I turned 35 - WTF! I was a comfortable full "C" cup and very active in tennis. However, now I am a size 34H - even though I really think I'm bigger than that because my H bras are saying "hello - umm yeah no". But let's just go with 34H for now. Anway, I'm very happy to have found this website after stalking the internet looking at women's breast reduction photos for about a year. The stories here have made me more comfortable and confident in my decision. You ladies really are superstars and it's really great to have a site like this one where there's a community of women who went through and are currently going through the exact same thing as me! I just want to be able to wear button down shirts, where slim fitting shirts/dresses, and damnit just be able to zip up my coat in this 10 degree weather for goodness sake!!
I haven't gotten approval from my insurance company but I'm moving forward anyway and PRAYING that they will reimburse the cost after the procedure. I will say that while my surgeon was recommended - Dr. Michael Olding, I have not been that happy with the staff support. It worries me a little bit that they are not following through with requests from my insurance company. I understand that doctors have a hard time getting reimbursed from the insurance companies and a lot of time the surgeon request payment up front for the procedure - especially when it's considered cosmetic, however, in my case I was reassured by his staff that I should have no problem getting reimbursed for the procedure - so what the problem? I just hope that once they receive payment from me they don't forget to fight to get me reimbursed.
I'm scheduled for my pre-op next Friday and my surgery is January 30th. Again thanks ladies and I will keep you posted.
My Surgeon requested payment up front which I'm prepred to do but I'm having a little anxiety wondering if the insurance will pay for this after the procedure has already been done?? Has anyone else done the procedure first AND THEN requested to be reimbursed or had your doctors office request payment for the procedure??
Breast Reduction Drains
Is it better to keep your drains in longer? I've been searching the site and I can't seem to find any posts relative to the drains and how long they should stay in and if there are any benefits to keeping them in longer. I spoke to a woman about her reduction and she said her surgeon kept hers in for like 5 days...
I actually spoke the number of days to someone this morning when they asked ... and I was like oh my goodness!! In 17 days I will not have to stand in my closet - looking at all my clothes that won't fasten, are too tight across the chest, make me look like Jessica Rabbit, and make me want to burst out in tears! I have actually done that - burst out in tears cause I didn't know how to camouflage my breast that day! Days that I'm PMS'ing are the absolute worse. You know ... you are already extremely sensitive AND your boobs seem to swell up too! My pre-op is this Friday and I'm loading up with tons of questions to ask my PS. Added another pic to show - this is one my significant other (who is not at all pleased with this procedure - I will post about that later), purchased the bikini to wear while in Mexico - I would NEVER wear this at my neighborhood pool!!
Spoke with PCP - all blood work in and I'm all clear for my procedure. I have low iron but I'm not anemic - which would have caused a problem for surgery. Starting my Vitamin C today which I've learned from this site helps the healing process. There's so much information it's hard to remember everything. I've started a "breast journal" - which houses all my questions for the doctor, things to purchase before op, things to do before op, and now photos of ideal breast size and shapes. Hopefully no one will ever find my book or they will think I'm a complete weirdo. Right now I'm just obsessed with boobs. I look at every woman's breast now and think - "I wonder what size she is?" :-). 15 days to go! I promise I won't make an entry every day.. :-)
I've started a log on my ipad of breast photos - these I will take with me to my doctors office to show him what I'm after. The thought of a beautiful full C/small D seems beyond comprehension. I've recently seen some posts where women wanted a certain cup size and unfortunately came out of surgery not feeling or looking much different from when they went in - we are talking 3 months post surgery!! What the hell is that all about?? This requires further research...
Did my post just say 14 DAYS PRE?!??!?!?! UNBELIEVABLE!
Follow-Up Mammogram Request - Pre Surgery
Ugh just spoke with my PS office and they want me to follow up to my initial mammogram to ensure there are no problems. This is so frustrating - finding someone to fit me into the schedule 2 weeks prior to my operation is next to impossible! Getting your results the same day is even more frustrating! I would hate to have my surgery postponed because of this! I have been dealing with lumpy breast since I was in my 20s - thankfully its always come back clear but ... now I'm just worried.
Ok so I just came back from my pre-op ... let me just start by saying I was quite nervous and a tad shaky as I'm sitting there waiting for him to come in. Feeling a little anxious about what I'm doing...then he comes in and the feelings do not subside at all. I feel like he was a little impatient with my questions and hardly looked at me while going thru the paperwork. Basically, after the third question he basically started gathering up his stuff preparing to leave...I WASN'T FINISHED!! I felt completely rushed and he basically told me I wouldn't be getting a C cup because my breast are too large and my scar - well let's just say it's a f*cking extended anchor - no chance for a lollipop which I'm ok with but going from cleavage to upper side - I think this is excessive. Grant it I know I have huge breasts but I've seen other ladies on here who don't have that huge scar...Needless to say - I'm really questioning my decision...maybe I need to get my money back and continue my search. Perhaps I can still get this done within the next couple of months. I'm so frustrated!
I've decided to move forward with my surgery. I've come this close - I don't want to turn back now. I'm sure the PS skills are better than his bedside manner and with all the encouragement I get from the community I'm sure that things will work out. I have learned so many things on this site and there's nothing like hearing from REAL WOMEN with REAL EXPERIENCES. You guys are the absolute best. I'm ok with a D cup - besides that will hide the scars better with the fullness of my breast. I just don't want to be a H/J or whatever the heck I am these days!
I can't believe that next week this time...I will be preparing to go to surgery the next day...it seems surreal.
Going shopping this weekend and picking up my prescriptions. The most important prescription I'm gathering from the ladies is the nausea patch to put behind my ear the night before surgery. That could be a life saver!
Got into another "discussion" with my significant other where I ended up telling him if he feels like he just can't come to grips with the BR maybe he should go find someone who is happy with the oversized breast on her chest and leave me alone! My happiness is more important than his at this point - he needs to come to grips with the inevitable or kick rocks!!
Oh one more thing...
When I showed my PS the picture of my dream boobs - he said that won't look right on you because she's skinnier than you...WTF????? Who says that to a woman??? How about - "that would not look right on your body type".
Spoke with the pre-admission nurse at the hospital to go over my do's and don'ts. I can feel my heart beating - this is really going to happen... I'm PS's 2nd and last procedure of the day. Thank goodness he doesn't have 2 ahead of me or 1 after me - want him to be nice, calm, and relaxed. No rushing to and fro - just concentrate and let the artistry commence! May get called in earlier if he finishes up with the first patient sooner - please don't have a dinner party to go to.
Just purchased my Marena bra as recommended on the site, got a medium..hope it fits...can't remember the last time I bought a medium anything for chest. Next Mepitac for my incisions.
Spoke to my daughter who wants to be there but I told her no I wanted to see how my signficant other did with caring for me - yes this is a test...hope he passes.
2nd Mammogram Completed
Went and had my 2nd mammogram today and got the green light to move forward with surgery on Thursday...I have so much anxiety right now. My body is tingling all over because I'm ready but not ready. Filled all my prescriptions and went shopping for all my supplies including scar medicines which I know I can't start using until my scars heal up. I just want to be prepared. My fingertips are tingling as I'm writing this..next week this time I will be 3 days post and probably going crazy from watching day time tv.
While I was at my mammogram the nurse was saying how great my breast look and how women pay for these things and all I could think was - am I being ungrateful? No that's crazy ... I have way more than any one woman should have. I just want them to be just like they are but smaller. I would be lying if I didn't say that I'm VERY nervous about the scars but I think after reading all the posts and researching things on the internet - I am armed and ready to take on any scar that could appear or result. Stuff to flatten, lighten and fade, minimize the appearance of - I purchased it! I've spent a good $100 on just stuff. The only thing I need is for my PS to be in a extremely artistic mood where the incisions are fine lines and precise.
My birthday is tomorrow and I'm going to bidding au voire (sp?) to the girlz. I'm happy this is happening right now - I'm in a good place. Things seem like they are moving along without a hitch. I don't know about you but I believe when speed bumps appear that is a reason for pause and reevaluation.
By the summer I will be able to wear all the beautiful sun dresses and tank tops I haven't been able to wear for years - I'M SO EXCITED!
my personal shelf
yes - that's what I call them - shelves. when I eat things fall onto my shelf instead of my lap. i took these photos so i could compare in the same shirt and bra after surgery.
Finally coming around..but then does he have a choice :-)
Well my bf is finally coming around and coming to grips with his toys being downsized. It's been a hard road that has caused much stress in our relationship and I'm slightly still off center because of it but it's nice that he has finally said that he is behind me no matter what and he just wants me to be happy.
In 48 hours I will be among you lovely ladies who have crossed over to the lighter side of things and only you can imagine the emotions and thoughts that are going thru my head. What's really amazing is that I have not lost an ounce of sleep. I'm sleeping like a baby! :-) However, it's the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep at night. I can't wait to be able to see my belly button!!
In other news my Marena bra came in last night - I meant to try it on so I could take a before and after pic but I will do it tonight. I ordered a medium so I hope it fits...more later.
The updated just said 1 day pre???...holy crap!!
Inhale - exhale - inhale - exhale....
Will they still be too big - too small, will one be round and the other square, will my nipples be too high or too low, will my scars spread and widen, will one be a C and the other a D, will I loose sensation, will I realize how flabby my stomach really is?!?!?!?!?
Just got a call from the hospital regarding payment for the procedure tomorrow. Seems like they can't process my insurance for the facility charge tomorrow! I'm about to have an anxiety attack. Apparently they follow the surgeons lead and process payment as a cash - paid in full - prior to surgery the same way the surgeon did. I was under the impression that I could pay the surgeon and allow the facilities charges to be billed to my insurance. I have a call in to the supervisor and I'm PRAYING that they will work with me on the payment - I do not have another $1600 to hand over tomorrow!!! Please don't let this thing have to be postponed for another month! I'm ready right now!!
Tomorrow is the day!
Just took a shower and put on the nausea patch "transdermal" prescribed by the PS. After reading about all the ladies who have suffered with the nausea after surgery I'm so glad I have this.
Got my travel pillow for the ride home for protection against the seat belt and my oversized button down pajama top to wear home.
I had absolutely no appetite today but forced myself to eat something since I probably won't eat tomorrow. Brought the recliner in the living room but as soon as I can sleep in the bed it will definitely go back in the office.
I can't believe it's happening tomorrow! Some of the girls that I told at work came and hugged me and squashed my breast against theirs - they were being funny but I just felt weird! Every one is so excited to see the new me and so am I!
I will probably post again tomorrow once I get admitted!
I've made it to the smaller side. Surgery was at 1 and the doctor finished around 6. I didn't leave the hospital until 12:30. The anesthesia really hit me pretty hard. It's now 7:30 day after surgery and I'm feeling like the fog of it is finally lifting. Went to see PS for follow up this afternoon and he told me I was one of the most difficult reductions he has ever done. He removed a baseball sized lump from my breast and needed to make sure my boobies were around the same in size after the removal of the lumps. He removed about 5 lbs - I can't wait to step on the scale :-). I'm not in any pain just discomfort. My boobs are so small to me but the PS said I'll end up a D cup. This will definitely take some getting use to.
write more later -:sleepy again.
Update - day 2
Yesterday the PS showed me my boobs - I'm like whoa they are so small!! I couldn't believe those were my boob! It's going to take some getting used to this new body but I'm ready! I'm feeling a little sore but no real pain. Some reason I don't feel supported and when I get up to walk around I have to hold under my breast. Did anyone else feel this way? Woke up with a slight headache this morning and my appetite is nonexistent. Had a couple spoons of soup yesterday and that was it. Throat still hurts from the breathing tube but for the most part im pretty. PS said my drains will come out Monday. Looking forward to that even though they're no bother. Can't take a shower until then either.
My bf hasn't seen them yet but I don't think he will like how small they are. But this isn't about him.
feeling better today
Today I'm feeling a lot better. The fog is finally gone and I'm moving around. I still have the drains in but there's very little coming into them. The PS wanted to keep them in through the weekend since surgery lasted so long on Thursday. No real bother but I can't wait to take a shower! I have to take iron pills to build my levels back up.
I'm a little nervous about seeing my incisions and looking forward to starting to use the silicone sheets I purchased. The PS put these small steri strips on my incisions I would have preferred the long stripes that completely cover the incisions because I think that would minimize their appearance.
sack of potatoes
I'm up and reading everyone's comments and reviews. I really love this community :-). Anywho I pointed out to my significant other that what the PS removed from my body was equally in weight to a sack of potatoes. Imagine walking around, bending over, exercising, cooking, cleaning, showering., etc with that sack of potatoes strapped to your chest. Let's be real that is excessive! Perhaps he gets it now. ..
I feel so much better without all that weight on me - only you guys understand.
Yesterday my BFF came over and cooked and cleaned up a little bit for me - what a blessing to have good friends like that. Im still getting relatively tired after moving around for longer than 15 minutes but I'm no longer dizzy. There's hardly anything coming out of the drains which will be coming out today. My appetite has increased a bit and even though I have to take iron pills, I haven't been constipated.
I will take some pics after I get back from PS office.
Drains are out
What a weird feeling. ..it didnt hurt just felt...weird. The PS and the in house nurse pulled them out at the same time. I think if I one done at time I would have been full of anxiety when he came around to do the other side.
I have to admit - before the PS and the nurse came back in the room and all the bandages were removed I couldn't stop staring at my breast. ..and honestly I almost burst out in tears. I can't say that I'm totally happy at this moment. Maybe I'm having a bit of separation anxiety...I don't want my BF to know about my feelings cause he is acting like someone killed his dog. He's mopping around and told me he is in mourning. So I have to pretend that I'm completely comfortable with my decision and cannot show any kind of remorse around him. Don't get me wrong this needed to happen I'm just. ..a little down right now about the size. Maybe this is the 5th say blues everyone has been talking about.
Looking down on my boobs they look very small but after viewing these pics they may be alright. Getting ready to take my first shower since surgery. PS said to stay away from incisions while washing. Put on ointment over top the tape then put a tank top over and then bra over top of that. Gonna try to drive to Walmart and find those genie bras you girls keep talking about. Do these look like a D cup?
Update - day 11
Today for the first day I'm actually ok with the size of my new boobs. I haven't been updating my profile because I didn't have anything positive to report and didn't want to bring anyone down who is considering the procedure. I went to the mall yesterday with one of my girlfriends and she pointed out to me that now I can go in almost any store and pick up a shirt that has buttons! I am so looking forward to shopping again. Yesterday was also the first time that I went out driving to my appointments by myself and it was ok but by mid day I was pretty ache. For the first 5 days I kept waking up to headaches but that has subsided and now I only take the percocet at night to help me sleep. My incisions are healing nicely and I can tell my left boob is now slightly bigger than my right. I'm very happy with my progress. I will post pics shortly. Thanks to everyone who has helped me through this-you guys are awesome.
Here's some pics. I added a variety. It may be a D cup but still unsure. Also added a pic of me with clothes on :-) - can not believe how much better my clothes feel on my body!
Super Zingers and other Great Discomfort
Well yesterday I crossed heavily into zinger world and some that lasted a good 10 seconds. They come out of nowhere and I wonder if I will be getting those when I go back to work. ..having a meeting and then zap - uh awkward!!
Now today I went to the mall and was meandering along - no fast movements - tried on a few shirts and spent a good 3 hours there. When I got home my boobies were aching pretty badly and very swollen. I also completely crashed cause I was soo tired. Now I'm wondering if I should have taken off 3 weeks instead of 2...I don't think 2 is enough.
Today was a good day
I wore one of my $7 Walmart bras ALL DAY today! I can't believe it! I really hope this is a turning point as I'm going back to work in a couple of days and really don't want to wear my Marena bra.
I do have an opening at the "t" section but after I put the ointment on and covered it with gauze its seems to feel a lot better.
Crazy - I had a dream last night that I had on a sports bra and some leggings and was. ..wait for it...RUNNING! No you don't understand I haven't run in at least 5 years because of my oversized breast!! :-) just wanted to share!!
3 Week Update
I'm feeling a lot better these days even though I still have that opening at the "t". I'm no longer taking the percocet to sleep and last night I laid on my side for a couple hours with minimal pulling. I'm wearing my Walmart bras to work and then coming home to change back into the Marena bra at night.
My incisions are healing nicely but I think I'm going to total switch to the Scarzone silicone sheets because the tape is hard to come off and I feel like it may be slowing my healing a bit. I added some photos but they didn't come out that well so I'll add more later.
UGH - INSURANCE!!!
I'm sooo mad right now I can barely see straight!! I just went online to check the status of my insurance claim to get reimbursed for my surgery and it said "processed" customer responsibility "$5,000.00. So I got on the phone with BCBS and they lady told me that it's being denied because .... get this .... "NOT MEDICALLY NECESSARY AT THIS TIME"!!!!!! WTF!!???!?!?!? I'm so mad I just want to throw something! I'm happy I had this done by all means and I would do it 15 times over but I pay this company THOUSANDS of dollars every year and rarely make any claims at all and they are telling me that me being a size 4/6 and having J, K, L, M, N, O, P breast reduction is not "medically necessary at this time" is a bunch of cow poo!!! Not to mention that even the doctor said this was not a cosmetic type of surgery. Because of the large lumps he had to remove from my breast adn the medical report coming back that I have this thing called Pseudoangiomatous stromal hyperplasia ("PASH") which HELLO NEEDS TO BE REMOVED!!! Oh they will not hear the end of this - I will be bringing my HR Benefits department into this because there is absolutely no reason for their denial. So what I haven't complained for years about back pain - I had it! I shouldn't have to go on for years and years complaining and documenting something that is obviously a medical condition that needs to be taken care of!
Pictures don't necessarily speak the truthe...
Firstly, I want to say thank you ladies for all your kind words and I'm not ungrateful for all that you say, but honestly, I still have some issues.
1) I mentioned in January Update that I get this prickley and uncomfortable feeling in my breast when I get cold or get chills. It's soo weird I just want it to stop. Unfortunately it's winter so ... yeah I guess this will be lasting a while longer.
2) I have that annoying T opening on my left breast that damnit doesn't seem to want to heal.
3) My left breast also is very bruised and swollen on the left side.
4) I STILL can't sleep on my side :-(
5) I think my boobs are still too small and I would have liked them to be a little more on the "D" side than the "C" side
6) My cleavage area has a raised scar that I'm PRAYING will diminish with the use of those silicone sheets
7) I still have no feeling in my nipples...this was my source of arousal during foreplay...
8) My areolas are basically non-existent
9) My bf still hasn't stopped mourning the loss of those giant sand bags on my chest and I'm starting to think his love for me was purely because I had those things...we discuss my appearance change almost everyday and it makes me quite sad that his love is not unconditional...
I'm not having a mentally good day today...
1 Month Update
Well I'm moving into my 5th week and feeling pretty good these days. I'm sleeping on my right side but not comfortable with my left side. Sleeping on my belly. ..well I tried it a couple nights ago and I lasted about...oh 15 to 20 minutes. My T has finally healed up - thank goodness but now I have moved into the itchy stage. All part of the process I guess.
I'm still sleeping on the sofa cause I just can't get comfortable in the bed - so frustrating!
I'm using the silicone strips but for a day or 2 I didnt wear them and I think my incisions raised a little bit. ..I immediately put them back on when I noticed this. Also I have been wearing my $5 Walmart bras and I noticed that my right boob is not as...full as the left or like it use to look. This concerns me a bit so I have reordered the Marena bra which will give me more support and help me maintain nice round breast. I had originally sent it back -pre surgery. ..because it was so small and it was hard for me to imagine myself that small. ..but now :-)
here is a pic but they don't really look that different from the last couple. Just wanted to show the lefty that is slowly healing.
Breast Reduction and Break Up
I write with a very heavy heart this morning. My bf and I have gotten into another heated discussion about my breast reduction. This is someone I was all in with - we lived together and marriage was what we were going for. I'm early 40s he will be 50 next year. Long story short - he is very unhappy with the new me and can't seem to come to grips with it. He said I was selfish and dud not take him into consideration when I did this. He doesn't think he will be sexually attracted to me now because my boobs was the main physical reason he was so attracted to me. I have to set him free. He is truly the most selfish immature man I have met in a long time. Who the heck is he??
Hi ladies - first I want to say thank you for all that commented on my post yesterday. I was pretty overwhelmed but in no way looking for sympathy. Writing is cathartic for me and I had a lot going on in my mind yesterday morning as I rode the train to work. I realize this is not the place where I want to put this stuff but it was relative to my BR and I felt the need to share how this procedure can take a toll on your emotions and your relationships. My ex was right - I was selfish...damn right! I would do it 15 times over again. I feel like 10 years of my life has been given back to me - my self esteem has increased (which I'm pretty confident in who I am anyway - never arrogant though), my body image has gotten WAYYYY better even though my flabby stomach ... well there's much work to be done there :-), and I'm just HAPPIER!!
Unfortunately, everyone is not going to share in your dance through the daffodils (or whatever flower comes to mind), HOWEVER, if there is something that you can do to and for yourself that makes you feel the way this BR has made me feel, and those close to you can not appreciate that - IT IS TIME TO REEVALUATE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT PERSON! So yes I was sad but it was because I realized what a selfish and self-centered individual I had given my heart to.
You only have one chance in this world - make it count - as long as it doesn't harm anyone else - do what makes you feel good about yourself - inside and out. It's not vain to want to look your best, it's vain when you think you are better than other people. It's not selfish to put your mental and physical health FIRST. You are worth it - I know it and I believe it!
Peace and blessings!
2 Full Months and FEELING OVERJOYED!
27 Mar 2014
2 months post
So today is a full 2 months since my operation and I feel FANTASTIC! I'm extremely happy that I had this procedure. I feel more energized than I have for YEARS!! I'm still dealing with the occassional itcheness and sometimes while cleaning or carrying something heavy for a little too long I get a little bit of achiness but for the most part I feel back to normal. I've been going back to the gym (not as much as I should but who does except some freak of nature who eats granola bars all day - no offense to anyone) and trying to build up my stamina a little more and work on this horrible flabby belly I have. I tell you those boobs hid it all but now it's just out there for me to look at every day! :-).
I had put off taping around my incisions for about a week or so but then noticed that my scars were starting to raise - eww! So I started retaping but I really need to buy some more silicon sheets (even though those things are WAY expensive. They are way easier to remove because the tape actually takes your skin off and I think it iritates your incisions as well. Also I have some feeling in my left nipple but not my right yet...:-( this sucks and I'm hoping it will catch up. Now when I saying feeling I mean it kinda hurts a little but I'm not complaining because at least I can feel something!
I went to this fancy lingerie shop to get measured and girls I am a DD...I'm like huh? These little things are a DD - in no way is this what I imagined a DD to look like!? I was happy about it #1 - because HA! in your face EX-BOYFRIEND!! #2 I really didn't want to be too small but at the same time - I know ALOT of women on here and elsewhere think they are a DD and guess what - YOU AREN'T - you are wearing the wrong cup size! Go get measured appropriately! Don't go by what you pick up and try on yourself - chances are you are doing it wrong. Sorry - that's my mothering for the day :-)
I will put some updated pics on here shortly since I've been M.I.A for a few weeks but you know I was cleaning up some things :-).