Ready for a new life

I've been over weight my whole life and recently decided to have the sleeve scheduled for 1-4-19 with Dr Patel in fort Worth,Tx after so many failed attempts and having twins the weight has gotten outrageous at 407 lbs (ikr) I met with Dr Patel and I have to say he relieved all my fears and promised they would get me through as a Dr I know he has to say things like that but the confidence he said it with made me a believer .. The staff that accompany him in his practice is wonderful they are always smiling,welcoming and honest.. I'm so ready for this new me

Today I've been going back and forth with myself about my upcoming surgery. I guess its because I feel like I won't be myself anymore and I've only had a csection . then there is the fact my hubby might not look at me the same he like plus size women (obviously) and since I won't be fitting in that category much longer thinking maybe he might become unhappy..don't get me wrong I'm having the surgery regardless because i want to live longer be healthy and see my 2 yr old twin daughters grow. I just don't want to lose my heart along the way

Lost 15 lbs over the last 2 weeks feeling great but hopeless..I look in the mirror and see the same fat woman and become discouraged .I know the imagine I see now is temporary but how can you get over something that has been with you your whole life?