Battling anxiety so that I can finally get a lift with implants! - Folsom, CA

I've always been bigger chested and have always dreamed up having perky bewbs!!! I know that I am looking at a mastopexy (lift) with augmentation to get me there. I'm not sure what size and that will be determined after our consultation. I will update this later once surgery has been performed but I wanted to get this started.

So I thought I'd grown some lady balls (and I don't mean the ones on my chest) ???? and finally post up a few photos of the girls as they are now. I've spent days looking at pictures of all you wonderful ladies and racking my brain trying to figure out why some of you have nice round bewbies and some of you have more of a square or "boxy" shape with your lift and augmentations. I've been wondering "Is it the implant"? "Is it the shape of ones own body before surgery"? "Is it where the implant is placed"? I couldn't figure it out and it was really bothering me because I've been taking screen shots from here so that I can show the doctor what I want. Yesterday it hit me! I realized that the boobies I liked more (the round ones) were all Lollipop Lifts versus the anchor lift. So I started to look into it and I'm now convinced after reading a doctors reply to a question that was asked on RS. He stated that the anchor lift tends to give the appearance of a more boxier shape. And it makes sense. The skin is going to naturally follow that incision line thus, giving way to that particular shape. So now, I have to keep my fingers crossed that I am a candidate for the lollipop lift or not. And even if I am, is my doctor comfortable performing that lift? Because it seems from his before and after photos, that he primarily performs anchor lift judging from the shape of the breasts in his photos. I reeeeeally hope he does!!! I'm not sure what I'll do if he's not comfortable performing that lift or I'm not a candidate. I've looked at other doctors in my area and they have no where near the expertise Dr. Mabourakh has, let alone all the freakin amaaaaaazing reviews I've read between what an awesome surgeon he is to his wonderful staff and most importantly his anesthesiologist! My consultation is on April 24th, so here's to keeping my fingers crossed..... I'll update again after my appointment. Hugs and kisses RS peeps!

I'm not sure who this will reach or who can understand but I'm feeling so upset with myself today. Yesterday was my consultation and I called and canceled my consultation the morning of my appointment. Anxiety was very high thinking about everything and a wave of nausea hit with the cold sweats. I just couldn't do it. Having a consultation was concreting the fact that a surgery would soon be impending and that scared me. I'm not sure how this happened but it's been a quick process of feeling total excitement to total dread reading everyone's experiences (particularly the first 5 days post op) and then I started watching YouTube videos of ladies sharing their post op experiences. It really scared me into wondering if I'd be able to handle the pain (because I don't want to take narcotics) and if my diagnosed anxiety would kick in post surgery and make me have a panic attack thinking something is wrong with me. Especially when these girls says their chest is so tight and they can't take a deep breathe. I wonder if all of these fears is worth it all. You almost have to want the boobs MORE than you fear the pain. I've been looking at my natural breasts with a whole lot more gratitude lately.lol. But ultimately, I'm saddened that I'm letting anxiety win. Ive posed this as a questions to the doctors here on RS and two of them have said that if I'm this nervous then maybe this surgery is not for me. :( My Mom mentioned maybe just giving my mind a break for the next month and see how I feel about it then and my friend mentioned pushing forward to discuss all of this with the PS. I'm thinking I'm going to do both tomorrow. I'll call the office and schedule another consultation and (usually a three week wait) then I will put all worries out of my mind until then. Fingers crossed that I can win this battle with anxiety to make it to the other side with perky boobies. God Bless!!!