I am 18 years old and growing up in a house were...
I am 18 years old and growing up in a house were everyone had tattoos as well as having family friends who are tattoo artists I thought it was time I got my first tattoo. I got this tattoo about a week ago and since then I cant look at my arm without feeling sick from regret.
I wanted my tattoo to have some sort of meaning and therefore had the idea of a triangle design with sunflowers inside (can be seen in the photos attached).
However, although I still like the design of my tattoo and the meaning it holds I hate where i have decided to have the tattoo positioned (on the inside of my forearm). I went to the tattoo shop alone to get it done and since then I have cried, lost my apetite and I'm even doing whatever i can to cover up the tattoo even though its summer.
I do however have a few concerns in terms of laser tattoo removal, these being:
1. As I have very sensitive skin that is prone to eczema I am worried about the chances of scarring or discolouration of the skin as the area is so visible.
2. The chances that the tattoo can not be completely removed and i am left with a very faded version of the tattoo i currently have.
3. I read that you shouldn't allow your tattoo to have direct sunlight on the lead up to the removal and during the removal process. After the removal process had healed is it possible to still get a tan in this area?
Has anyone else had the experience of pretty much instantly regretting a tattoo? Also has anyone else had a tattoo in the same area that has been removed?
I don't know if over time the tattoo will grow on me but right now i cant stand the thought of it being on my arm.
Trying to look at the positives
After contacting a few laser removal companies i have been told to contact them in around a month for a consultation once the tattoo has healed, the process then cant begin until around September/October.
I feel like all i can do is keep my feelings towards my tattoo bottled up inside as it took so much nagging at my parents for them to allow me to get it. This means that i can be sitting with them and begin to get upset about the tattoo and have to remove myself from the room to cry about the fact ive distroyed my arm.
After reading more and more stories on here where people have failed with laser removal i keep feeling that i will never get rid of this mistake.
The only positive i can see is that the reget of the tattoo has made me lose my appetite and i can begin to see a loss in weight.
Going Back and Forth
Last night was spent crying my eyes out into my completely understanding boyfriends arms (who i honestly cant thank enough for putting up with me and being there for me). I was convinced that my arm was now ruined and would rather have no arm than this tattoo.
However, this morning I have woke up feeling a lot more positive. After seeing more and more success stories of removal I am more encouraged that the tattoo will be gone at some point.
I believe that my main issue with the tattoo is the placement and how this may effect me in the future, whereas i should be focusing on right now. I have also read that you may be more likely to get scarring/it is harder to remove if the tattoo is relatively new which makes me think i should leave it to fade naturally and remove it once it has had time to heal or so i can try to get used to it.
Another thing that is holding me back is that most success stories come from the use of the Picosure laser, this is only available in one clinic within Scotland (which is a 3 hour drive away from me).
Therefore if i can continue to think positively I hope to be able to keep the tattoo and hopefully sometime within the near future a clinic closer to Edinburgh will have the Picosure laser.
Each morning I wake up i look at my arm hoping my tattoo is no longer there and this was just one big nightmare, but each morning I am disappointed to see my mistake is still there.
After looking into nearby clinics i am yet to find photos of complete removal with little or no marks left on the skin. This makes me think that for the rest of my life I will be left with some sort of reminder of what is seeming to be the worst time in my life.
Im still struggling to eat and although I told my mum how I feel she doesn't know the full extent to it.
I am also being told by people that I didn't need to get a tattoo or i shouldn't have got it so quickly (which definitely isnt helping).
When i look at myself in the mirror (without seeing my arm) I see something beautiful but as soon as my arm comes into sight I instantly hate myself.
I cant keep letting this eat me up but I dont know if i would rather have an inking on my arm or a big white patch from laser removal.
Over the past week or so ive been in 2 minds.. one being "GET THIS OFF MY ARM" and the other being "is there any possible way I can live with this?".
Although i am constantly looking at removal clinics and success stories I believe i may be overthinking things. I do think i have found a man nearby that specialises in tattoo removal and has great reviews as well as amazing before and after images (which gives me hope that I can have a successful removal).
However, I am going to try to push back going ahead with removal until atleast a year down the line (possibly September 2018). This way I will be able to keep an eye on nearby clinics to get more success stories, the laser equipment can only improve overtime, the tattoo will heal more/fade naturally making removal both easier and safer. But most importantly it will allow me time to ensure this is the right decision for me as i dont want to rush into something too quickly and regret it either by wanting the tattoo back or being left with a mark that could've been prevented.
In light of recent events not only in the UK but across the world, i have realised life is far too short to let something as small as a mark on your arm ruin your life. There are people going through far worse... i could easily scar my arm or even worse lose an arm! At the end of the day a tattoo is a work of art no matter how good or bad it may be, i could have been born with a mark on my arm and that would just be my norm... so why cant this be my new norm?
1 very important point!!!! If you are going through tattoo regret whatever you do DONT bottle it up!!! Talk to your family and friends, tell people how your feeling and get everything off your chest. To begin with i was worried to tell my mum but telling her is the best thing I could've done! If anything it has brought us A LOT closer (she even offered to get a matching tattoo). This page is great for talking to others going through the same problem but you cant beat telling family/friends! Although there isn't much they can do to get your tattoo off your body, they will put your mind at ease and no matter what will be there for you!
Anyways, I hope everyones removal is going successfully and if anyone is struggling with regret please feel free to message me!