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So here I am, one month after Explant, wondering...

So here I am, one month after Explant, wondering if I will ever be at peace with my decision. Let me tell you how I got to this point.
January 2012 and my fourth child is two years old. My boobs are sad and saggy after feeding all my children for a combined total of five years. I'm complaining about the state of my boobs to my husband, close family and friends. A friend of mine goes ahead and has a BA and for her it's the best thing she did. My husband encourages me to get an appointment with the same surgeon and he comes along too. I see this puppy dog look on his face as I try the sizers on. Two weeks later there's a cancellation and suddenly I'm in having the procedure. I wasn't excited to see how they looked and cried when I was home. I spent the next three years trying to get used to them and trying not to bore my husband with my moans. I found Realself and it was a relief to read that other woman felt the same as me. I wasn't the only one that didn't love her new boobs. We moved back to Dubai, where my original BA was performed, and I made an appointment with Dr Khan again. This time to ask how difficult or easy an Explant would be. He really listened and said an explained that an Explant would be simple as long as I was 100%
With that knowledge in my head and reading all the stories on here I got excited about the possibility of having my implanrs removed. I tried to talk about Explant with my husband but every time he would say " they look so natural, you're in proportion now, there are no issues with them. etc." I didnt even tell him I'd seen the PS already. I almost posted my review on here before the Explant but I really wanted to work things out for myself. I figured - everyone has an opinion but it's mine that counts, right? Plus we were having to relocate back to the UK and I knew id find it hard responding to people's comments. In May I'm doing some serious thinking. How bad do I want these implants out?? I realise I don't want to end up trying to find a surgeon in England to Explant and I might as well get it done in Dubai with the surgeon who performed my BA. I email and ask if they can fit me in first week in June, as this would give me three weeks before the big move. Life at home is crazy busy. My husband is traveling lots with work. His nan becomes extremely ill and he makes the trip to see her in the UK. There was so much going on I wondered if I was mad trying to fit an Explant in too and perhaps I should put it to the back of my mind - but then I get a phone call saying they could book me in for 8th June and I say yes. My husband returns from travelling on the 11th and I break the news to him. He's not happy and we still haven't talked about it. He thinks I've rushed my decision but the fact is they just weren't me. I did feel more confident naked but I hated how I looked in clothes and I couldn't get used to how they felt. Four weeks on and I still don't want my husband to see my boobies. He said its my body but still he doesn't understand why I didn't love them. I know I went about it the wrong way and, after 21 years of marriage, I shouldn't have kept him in the dark. I'm happy to be implant free but sad I'm shy to undress. I should feel confident in my decision - I'm me and love me for who I am. but that doesn't change the fact that my boobies are back to empty little things. :(

Provider Review

Dr J Khan
Overall rating
Doctor's bedside manner
Answered my questions
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Time spent with me
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Dr Khan is fantastic. I healed beautifully after both BA and Explant. He truly listened to me and put me at ease throughout my emotional roller coaster experience. He must think I'm crazy but he didn't show it.