Rhinoplasty in Norway

Hi there,I have a hawk nose that is deviated. I used to hate it when I was a teenager as I was very skinny and it would stand out. From the age of 17 to 25 it didnt really bother me, because I gained a little bit of weight and during these years of your life you usually have the puppyfat checks to kind of mellow it out. After turned 25 my face got more skinny, smaller og just more contoured. The same thing happens again that my nose stands out and is too big for my face. Some people comment on it and it hurts my feelings. I also spend a lot of time and energi thinking about it. I has been 2 years since my first consultation. I have seen multiple surgeons, the problem is that big noses are not a common trait among norwegians so there are not many good rhinoplasty surgeons here. Went to see a few surgeons in Spain. Ultimatley I came over a surgeon originally from Iran, who lives in Norway and travels back and forth operating in both countries. I was worried in the beginning that he would give me a too plastic fantastic nose as iranians like them fancy and upturned. He asurred me that he also operates on europeans, and he gives you the nose you want, be it fancy or natural. An iranian girlfriend of mine found his recommendations on an iranian forum, apparentley he is well known there. Does anybody have any experience with iranian rhinoplasty surgeons? Had my operation scheduled for the 15th of Feb, but started getting cold feet a few weeks before that. I cancelled the date because I was so nervous, only to regret it the day after and then rescheduled. On the day of surgery I started to cry in the car. I study psychology and I am struggeling an internal battle whether this is something that I can live with for the rest of my life and be honest about. I feel that I am being superficial and that I should know "better". I worry about how others will perceive me or judge me. I worry about the outcome. I think about things like if I one day have a daughter and she looks at old pictures of me, and ask me why mommy looks different there. And what if my children inherent my old nose. My boyfriend says having a big nose is a sign og intelligence, that we are big thinkers with big personalities. Will I change my personality or alter my character by doing this? will I feel like a different person, because I still want to feel like me. Am I showing the world that I wasnt able to accept myself by having this surgery done? Also I usually have people ask me if I am italian, or croatian because of my strong nose, and I am afraid that by doing this I will look boring and lose my edge. I have read about people panicking before going under, and thought I was prepared for that, but on the day of surgery I was sick to my stomack. The nurse tried to calm me down saying that this happens to everybody and is a completley normal reaction, but when the surgeon came to talk to me it seems like he realized that this was bad. He told me that we shouldnt operate, because I was too flaky and indecisive...and he was afraid it would give me post op difficulties. I offered to pay for the operation , but he refused and said its better that I go home think about it and make sure Im a 100% before I schedule a new appointment with him.I have to say, that waht a nice doctor. I felt a huge relief as I got in the car and went back home, only to find myself regretting now not having done it. I took 3 weeks off work for this and had everything planned, and now no surgery and no new nose. I dont know when I will have another opportunity to schedule and plan a new surgery, and if I should...... I regret it when I cancel, and I freak out when I set a date. Has anyone been in the same situation and had the same thoughts? Or does my reaction sound like a worst case scenario. I applaud those who have had the guts to go through with this.