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A doctor with NPD? Check!
Ever wonder if your doctor has NPD? Here are some quotes from various articles.
Let’s see.....
“When confronted, the bully lacks empathy and may pretend nothing has happened. To maintain their superior status, power, and control, the perpetrator may also play the martyr or accuse a victim of being toxic, dishonest, mentally unstable or “not up to it,” which causes further harm. A doctor with NPD is often quick to threaten legal action for defamation while continuing to spray lies about others, which is a very effective way to split people. As a result, the complainant is sometimes wrongly accused of poor behavior, rather than supported by others in the workplace.”
“Notwithstanding the challenges, the damaging behaviors of a bully with NPD, must be called out and monitored by a collective of respected senior doctors or a senior leadership team, rather than expecting individual victims to “muscle up.” Bystanders must speak up. Unless complaints about bullying are dealt with appropriately by medical workplaces, they will continue to be aired through social media, and reported to regulatory authorities. Collectively, good doctors must take responsibility for holding bullies to account and believing victims.”
“There have been too many misdiagnoses and mistakes made by narcissistic physicians due to their intense need to be right. Obviously, there are incorrect diagnoses and mistakes made by non-narcissistic doctors as well. But in the case of the narcissistic physician, they will find a way not to be wrong at all costs. You misheard or misunderstood, it was the nurse’s fault, or you must not remember him telling you it might be something else. A narcissist cannot, and will not, apologize or take responsibility.”
“If you or a family member asks them a question that in any way can be perceived as questioning their authority or their expertise, be ready to receive a snide, disparaging remark bordering on insult. Asking for a second opinion is tantamount to outright betrayal. Narcissists know how to instinctually find your weak area and expose it. You have to remember that you have the right to seek and know the truth about your medical condition, in clear terms, or as an advocate for someone else.”
Let’s see.....
“When confronted, the bully lacks empathy and may pretend nothing has happened. To maintain their superior status, power, and control, the perpetrator may also play the martyr or accuse a victim of being toxic, dishonest, mentally unstable or “not up to it,” which causes further harm. A doctor with NPD is often quick to threaten legal action for defamation while continuing to spray lies about others, which is a very effective way to split people. As a result, the complainant is sometimes wrongly accused of poor behavior, rather than supported by others in the workplace.”
“Notwithstanding the challenges, the damaging behaviors of a bully with NPD, must be called out and monitored by a collective of respected senior doctors or a senior leadership team, rather than expecting individual victims to “muscle up.” Bystanders must speak up. Unless complaints about bullying are dealt with appropriately by medical workplaces, they will continue to be aired through social media, and reported to regulatory authorities. Collectively, good doctors must take responsibility for holding bullies to account and believing victims.”
“There have been too many misdiagnoses and mistakes made by narcissistic physicians due to their intense need to be right. Obviously, there are incorrect diagnoses and mistakes made by non-narcissistic doctors as well. But in the case of the narcissistic physician, they will find a way not to be wrong at all costs. You misheard or misunderstood, it was the nurse’s fault, or you must not remember him telling you it might be something else. A narcissist cannot, and will not, apologize or take responsibility.”
“If you or a family member asks them a question that in any way can be perceived as questioning their authority or their expertise, be ready to receive a snide, disparaging remark bordering on insult. Asking for a second opinion is tantamount to outright betrayal. Narcissists know how to instinctually find your weak area and expose it. You have to remember that you have the right to seek and know the truth about your medical condition, in clear terms, or as an advocate for someone else.”
Well written article stating what we all know.
https://jezebel.com/when-surgeons-fail-their-trans-patients-1844774990
This article stares what everyone knows.
Funny how she spends more time searching for negative reviews instead of working to prevent them.
This article stares what everyone knows.
Funny how she spends more time searching for negative reviews instead of working to prevent them.
File under: unprofessional.
Back in February, I sucked it up and scheduled my year review since I was still waiting for phone call with my revision date (which NEVER came as promised). We made the appointment for early June. Okay, so it’s more like a 13month review.
June 7th comes and I arrive early for my scheduled appointment.
As I walk through the door, the office receptionist seemed surprised to see me. I mentioned how we scheduled this appointment over three months ago.
Fingers fly on the receptionists keyboard and then I hear.
“Dr. Rumer does not want to see you......Something about a review”.
“What about it?” I reply.
“Dr. Rumer said it was nasty and she will only see me if I take it down”.
I was stunned. Literally in shock. Still in complete and total disbelief I send off an email.
.................
Good day.
I did not come to today to discuss what had transpired in the past. I came today as part of the required post surgical exams.
Prior to today, I didn’t receive a 6month review due to our “shortened” appointment. I only wanted to make sure things are healing.
Kathy,
If you are so unhappy about the words I wrote in a review, where was the attempt to communicate with me prior to today? You don’t hold someone’s appointment hostage because your feelings are hurt.
This appointment was booked almost four months ago. I didn’t want to schedule it, but I did because no matter what, it’s what is supposed to be done as a part of the process.
If I can rise above my hurt feelings, so can you.
Thank you anyway for what you’ve done for me.
Best wishes.
...........
On Monday I receive a phone call.
KR: I’d like to keep treating you, but the online review is a conflict for me and it makes it difficult to treat you.
me: Why is that?
KR: I just don’t feel that it’s helpful to anyone and I think it’s hurtful to our professional relationship.
Me: I see.
KR: So, if you want to take it down I’ll continue to treat you. Otherwise I’ll have to release you and refer you to someone else.
Me: Is that all? (I was hoping for her to actually talk about my review and how she hurt me)
KR: That is it.
Me: alright Thank you and enjoy the rest of your afternoon.
KR: Okay. Do you have a decision. Or?
Me: Thank you.
Again. Stunned. I had hoped she’d have an actual conversation but that didn’t seem to be the case.
This time a letter was in order.
..............
Dr. Rumer.
Let me make this perfectly clear. I do not appreciate having my medical care held hostage because of your hurt feelings.
Your call today, was nothing more than an attempt to strong arm me into taking down a review critical of your care. Instead of showing any interest in repairing the relationship, you chose to worry ONLY about your reputation. Because of this I do not feel I could trust you to provide me with the proper care I currently require.
In addition, I will not be removing my review. They are my words and they clearly speak of my relationship with you and your practice.
As of today I no longer require your services.
.........
Whether or not she was actually going to follow through with my revision (with or without the review) is anyone’s guess. Should have figured she’d never apologize. People like that never do. She got her money.
In closing, I am still in need of a revision. My questions were never answered, requests for other paid worn left unanswered, and a treatment no one deserves.
Compassion goes a long way. Especially when it major surgery.
For me, Dr. Rumer was my only logistical option.
To everyone else. Buyer beware.
June 7th comes and I arrive early for my scheduled appointment.
As I walk through the door, the office receptionist seemed surprised to see me. I mentioned how we scheduled this appointment over three months ago.
Fingers fly on the receptionists keyboard and then I hear.
“Dr. Rumer does not want to see you......Something about a review”.
“What about it?” I reply.
“Dr. Rumer said it was nasty and she will only see me if I take it down”.
I was stunned. Literally in shock. Still in complete and total disbelief I send off an email.
.................
Good day.
I did not come to today to discuss what had transpired in the past. I came today as part of the required post surgical exams.
Prior to today, I didn’t receive a 6month review due to our “shortened” appointment. I only wanted to make sure things are healing.
Kathy,
If you are so unhappy about the words I wrote in a review, where was the attempt to communicate with me prior to today? You don’t hold someone’s appointment hostage because your feelings are hurt.
This appointment was booked almost four months ago. I didn’t want to schedule it, but I did because no matter what, it’s what is supposed to be done as a part of the process.
If I can rise above my hurt feelings, so can you.
Thank you anyway for what you’ve done for me.
Best wishes.
...........
On Monday I receive a phone call.
KR: I’d like to keep treating you, but the online review is a conflict for me and it makes it difficult to treat you.
me: Why is that?
KR: I just don’t feel that it’s helpful to anyone and I think it’s hurtful to our professional relationship.
Me: I see.
KR: So, if you want to take it down I’ll continue to treat you. Otherwise I’ll have to release you and refer you to someone else.
Me: Is that all? (I was hoping for her to actually talk about my review and how she hurt me)
KR: That is it.
Me: alright Thank you and enjoy the rest of your afternoon.
KR: Okay. Do you have a decision. Or?
Me: Thank you.
Again. Stunned. I had hoped she’d have an actual conversation but that didn’t seem to be the case.
This time a letter was in order.
..............
Dr. Rumer.
Let me make this perfectly clear. I do not appreciate having my medical care held hostage because of your hurt feelings.
Your call today, was nothing more than an attempt to strong arm me into taking down a review critical of your care. Instead of showing any interest in repairing the relationship, you chose to worry ONLY about your reputation. Because of this I do not feel I could trust you to provide me with the proper care I currently require.
In addition, I will not be removing my review. They are my words and they clearly speak of my relationship with you and your practice.
As of today I no longer require your services.
.........
Whether or not she was actually going to follow through with my revision (with or without the review) is anyone’s guess. Should have figured she’d never apologize. People like that never do. She got her money.
In closing, I am still in need of a revision. My questions were never answered, requests for other paid worn left unanswered, and a treatment no one deserves.
Compassion goes a long way. Especially when it major surgery.
For me, Dr. Rumer was my only logistical option.
To everyone else. Buyer beware.
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