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In March 2013 I started having pain in my left...

In March 2013 I started having pain in my left ovary. After much confusion and a no resolution larascopic surgery, I am now headed in for an abdominal laparotomy for a very large endometrioma cyst with bowel adhesion.
I have had 3 C-sections and currently weigh 179 at 5'4. I am broad and fairly large breasted and I KNOW I should lose approx 20 lbs. I am 40 years old. I have lots of saggy fatty skin on my lower belly and hips. My kids are 7, 12 and 22.
My OBGYN suggested seeing a plastic surgeon he deals with frequently in regards to doing a TT at the same time as the cyst removal. I never really considered doing this before. As you all know, one baby step into researching this procedure becomes a crazed obsession for months on end.
I visited Dr. Marchant's for the first time and spent about 2 hours in a room with his wife Melanie. She is very nice and a virtual fountain of information. I only saw the Dr. For a few minutes, which may be partially because I held his wife captive for so long asking questions. I was very nervous and uncomfortable at the thought of letting it all hang out in front of ANYBODY but I was able to do it ( while basically pretending to be anywhere else in the world). He looked me over, made no comments about my weight and seemed very confident that this was a routine TT. He felt that a Tummy tuck would improve my appearance by 75%. He also indicated that I would need lipo later on my flanks but felt it was too much surgery in one day to include this. I felt he seemed confident but was not really a people person. I got the impression his wife does the bulk of the actual consultations. This made me a little uncomfortable as I think you need to feel comfortable with the surgeon himself as he's the one yielding the knife! So I went back in for a 2nd consult. This time he gave me about 15 minutes. He said I would have some hip buldging do to the fat and excess skin on the flanks (aka love handles). I asked him if the excess fat buldges would be weird, as in will I be able to wrap a hair band around them like a ponytail weird? Or dog ear hell? Like love handle muffin top to the extreme? Basically he said its hard to tell exactly what it will look like but that it may be able to be revised at 6 months. I openly told him I would not-could not pay another $2000 for revisions on top of this already frivolous surgery. So what do I do? Hope for the best? Don't do it?
I am going for a second opinion with Dr. Adrian Lo just because I feel I should. I could end up at a whole new hospital with a different Obgyn surgeon the way things are going. My priorities have gone haywire since I became involved in the potential TT. I would actually switch obgyns just to get a better TT ! On the other hand Dr. Marchant is close to home and seems to have a very good reputation. I just don't want to spend this much, suffer this much and feel like I'm only half done. But i do understand that too much surgery at one time is a bad thing. I guess it's who can do a better job with what they have to work with!
I'm just wondering if a flatter stomach will look weird with chubby arms and back. Oh and those bulgy hips/flanks!
Also, just FYI, I am also a smoker trying very hard to totally quit 2 weeks before surgery. It's hard. Send a prayer my way.
So, to wrap up, I am petrified of:
1. Necrosis
2. Swelling for the next 10 years after activity
3. Looking like I have jumbo marshmellows hanging from my hips.
4. The drains
5. Being disappointed after spending so much money and adding to the pain of my cyst surgery
6. Not doing it and regretting it.
Will touch base after 2nd opinion.

Another Twist To Add to My Tummy Tuck Insanity

I went to see my surgeon today to discuss the surgery for the cyst removal. 6 weeks ago he said prepare for abdominal surgery...my cyst of epic proportions could not be removed laparoscopically.
Ok.
He pointed me in the direction of a plastic surgeon and said think about a tummy tuck at the same time since you've had so many abdominal incisions. I started mentally preparing myself and began running down the Tummy Tuck highway.
So...today he said he wants to do the surgery robotically.
Seriously?
After I have mentally accepted a laparotomy and justified a tummy tuck because of it! (As in : I'm being opened up anyway...2 surgeries, one recovery....not frivolous if I have to have my muscles cut for a medical reason...and so on.)
I should have been thrilled by the thought of a less invasive surgery.
Not thrilled.
So now there is no justifieable reason to get the tummy tuck. But NOW I want it! Damn that surgeon.
Also, because its robotic, the surgery schedule is different so now he can't do it until August 9th. Which means my scheduled babysitter is no longer an option. ( my sister who took off work to take my kids for a week..can't reschedule)
So...still Tummy tuck with no lipo if I do it at the same time as the cyst removal. 4 hours on the table.
Cyst surgery is an approx 2 week basic recovery. Do I do them both at once? Do I do the cyst and go back for tummy? I really don't have the luxury of taking off again later. My family/friend sympathy meter will drop once the cyst is out. Elective surgery is just not the same.
But back to square one...and all I really care about since ive become obsessed....will I be happy without the lipo?
Spent half an hour squeezing my stomach forward and trying to envision potential hanging rolls/ dog ear bulges.
Total Insanity.
Currently scheduled for BOTH procedures August 9th.
Will update with any new twists!

Moving right along!

Have decided not to go with Adrian Lo. Some of his reviews made me nervous. Plus it looks like he does a lot of breasts. I am going to get my 2nd opinion from Dr. Louis Bucky in Philadelphia. He seems to have a very good reputation. My only concern is that, from the look of his before and after pics.....he doesn't do a lot of people who are on the heavier side. Hopefully he won't send me to the gym! After seeing him I will decide which doc to use.

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