42 Years Old Bilateral Mastectomy Reconstruction. Dallas, TX

Finally got the courage to be flat and fabulous! Explant after bilateral mastectomy
I guess the hardest thing for me was a mental anguish of people thinking I was different, not attractive, not sexy. Worrying about clothes no longer fitting correctly. swimming is one of my favorite activities and I didn't know what I would do for a bathing suit. I did not want to become a freak of nature.i guess the hardest thing for me was a mental anguish of people thinking I did not want to be concave. I did not want ugly scars. I wanted to be able to see cleavage when I bend over. I didn't want to be jealous of other people's cleavage and God-given gifts. The thought of not having The surgery done and losing my insurance was a driving force for me. It's something I wanted to do since I got them. I didn't mind not having nipples because when they were real, I didn't like them showing through my shirts.
when I had the saline taken out, I was at the point of no return. I tried swimming, wearing a racer back shirt instead of a bathing suit, I experimented with clothes that looked ok, I was able to sleep better at night without the weight of implants on my chest. After all these little things, that were really big things, I was sure that I was making the right decision. I am 3 days post op, and glad to have those things out of my body. If more women would come forward, I think that women might start making choices based on what they really would like to do as opposed to what others might think they want . I did not want all the pain, surgeries, and recoveries, and complications. I feel like I chose those things because the world forced me to choose those things. What 42-year-old woman wouldn't want to have breasts? If society didn't make breasts such a big part of the worlds thinking, then breast cancer survivors would spend way less time being tortured by the medical profession and more time being embraced by the people that love and care about them I am telling my story and showing my photos because I felt like I was one of those people that made choices based on my perception of what a female should look like. And I advise all those who are confident enough in themselves to make the decision to be flat and fabulous.

U decide. I am in so much pain all the time. I can't sleep on them, I can't lay on them. They hurt when I swim they hurt when I try to work out they hurt when I do housecleaning. They are constantly on my mind and I am constantly trying to hide them. It is so embarrassing. I look like a freak. I want an apology from the doctor.