30 Yo Dude, Whole Arm Sleeve

This is a long story guys, so bear with me.

I initially got my first tattoo itch when I turned 29, which is pretty late. I went ahead and got a some large tattoos done on my upper arms on both arms. Then I really got addicted, and added some more on my lower arm. I did this in secret, because I knew my parents would flip out. Eventually I told them, and it was a catastrophe, with them going so far as to threaten to disown me, it was really bad. My parents are super conservative folks. I promised them I wouldn't get another tat again.

Well fast forward a couple months, and I still had the tat addiction, and then just lost control of myself. I tatted my entire right arm, from the top of the shoulder all way down to the wrist- a complete full sleeve. I kept going back to various tattoo parlors to keep going over the tats because I wanted it to look "perfect". I liked it for about 4 months, and then a month ago I just literally had a meltdown out of nowhere. It hit me all of a sudden, and I couldn't believe what I had done. I couldn't bear to look at my arms anymore, and the depression and anxiety was unbelievable. I don't know why I did what I did, I still cannot believe myself.

At this time, I was already going through the toughest moment in my life, with my losing my job, and for this tattoo thing to hit me when I was in the gutters. My biggest fear is if my parents find out, it'll be over. I'm close with them, but they probably would disown me if they ever find out the extent of my sleeve. I cannot ever show them until the ink is gone, so that means always wearing long sleeves when around them.

This has made so so incredibly anxious, I almost cannot stand it.

All I knew ever since the revelation hit me, was that I needed to get rid of the ink, no matter what it took. So a week ago, I went in for a consultation in a couple of removal clinics. The first clinic told me it may take around 10 sessions, but because the tattoos were so large, that they would have to cut in section to treat them, and it would cost like 900 bucks a session. If after the 10th session, the tats were still there, they would do treatments for free.

At the second clinic, they pretty much told the same thing. For the 1st session, they would only do half of the arm and then do the other half 2 weeks later, because doing the whole thing at 1 sitting may cause swelling that might prove too dangerous. Because of the cost involved, I decided to remove 2/3 of my right arm sleeve, from wrist to middle of my upper arm, or where the flag tattoo was.

The cost would be $525 per session ($25 for the numbing cream), and she quoted me 10 sessions, with 6 weeks between each session. This would take about a year.

She also agreed to remove my left arm forearm tattoo with the roses and the letters as well with the sessions. She said because my ink is only black, it would be very much doable. If it had been multi-colored, it would have been very much doubtful.

They were super polite and showed me pictures of tattoo removals on the previous clients, had treated over 12,000 clients, and Google and Yelp reviews were 5/5 starts. They used the Quanta Q plus C laser.

From the exhaustive tattoo removal research that I have done so far, it looks like there are few advantages and disadvantages of my case:

Advantage:

- My tattoos are all black, no color. It seems Quanta Q plus C with the 1064 nm wavelenght is pretty much the gold standard for black ink removal

-My skin is relatively fair. I'm Asian but I always have had rather fair skin, believe it or not

-I'm young and healthy, non-smoker, non-drinker, exercise regularly, eat healthy, lots of water, etc. (After all, it is the immune system doing all the work)

Disadvantage:

-The tattoos are so much and so large, it's a whole freaking sleeve

-Ink is very new- it's only been 7 months since my last inking session

-Lot of the shapes I went over multiple times because I was OCD at that time about making my tats look "perfect"- so it's a lot of dark black ink packed into the shapes

-Lots of lines and outlines, which I know are tougher to remove than shading

So a week ago, I went in for my first session. She put numbing cream over my arms and had me wait for 2 hours. Then I had the session. We went over the outer half of my arm for this half session, with the inner arm to be done in 2 weeks time. The pain really wasn't bad at all, it could have been the numbing cream, but it was very much tolerable, although uncomfortable. The left forearm tats were treated as well.

I came home, and started icing, but over the next couple days my arm swelled and bruised a lot. It felt like having a sausage hanging from my shoulder. Then the blisters started appearing. She had told me for the vert large blisters, I could lance them, but leave the smaller ones alone.

It's been 8 days since that session, and swelling and blisters have all gone down for most part. I haven't really seen fading or anything yet, which has me rather discouraged. I know it's a very long process, but I keep hoping for some results. I go back in a week to do the inner half of my arm, and that will be one full session.

I plan to go in every 6 weeks after that over the next year or so.

I'm still super anxious and worried, and whether I'll even have the money to complete the sessions, whether I'll have clear skin again, if my parents will ever find out, etc. I just want to be able to wear a T-shirt again without feeling like a disfigured monster. My biggest fear is will the tattoos go away or not.

These days, the tattoos are all I think about, from the moment I wake up, to when I go to sleep (not to mention waking up at middle of night with panic attacks). It's literally driving me crazy.

The emotional and mental toll over the past 3 weeks or so has been incredible. Like I said above, I already had so much on my plate with my job and personal situation, and this tattoo fiasco on top of that, and it's a wonder that I haven't actually turned clinically insane.

Thanks everyone for bearing with my story. I am going back on April 24th for the inner arm session, and I will regularly post updates on my progress, my thoughts and feelings, etc.

-V