In CO...Hoping for Surgery 12/2015!!! - Denver, CO

I started my process a couple of weeks ago. I have insurance paying for almost everything so my part might be $450.00 at most.

My procedure date is a made up date but I am hoping for December! !!

One of the reasons I am having WLS is to live the rest of my life healthy. I am almost 150 lbs over my 22 year old weight. I am now 52 (when did THAT happen???) and I think I am now 5 foot 7. I was taller but I shrunk!

I know I am lucky to have good insurance...I just wanted the sleeve surgery this July! I have found great support here and now will take my 6 month wait period to take the once a month classes and really look at my relationship with food. I plan to practice the liquid diet soon to see what it is like and if my brain freaks out!!

I am not telling many people. It is embarrassing to have gotten this far out of control and I refuse to listen to nasty comments! I told a few friends...very few. I am not telling my family before the surgery. Not sure at all what I will say after. I have time to think about all that, right? My mom will not be told. I found her sneaking photos of me looking very bad so she could show others. How is that for some seriously nasty behavior? ?

I told my husband this morning. I had to hold back my tears as I knew I would not get through it if I started to cry. I almost threw up after. It was very hard to share my complete failure at losing weight. Bit it is done and my husband is supportive as I knew he would be!

I have to take pictures to post them! I haven't allowed pictures of me in years.

I think about me at 150 lbs back when I was 22 and I can't remember me at that weight. I knew I was active then and that I never thought about my weight.

I hope to be a supportive voice for many of you! I am very excited and I am actually cleaning out my pantry and am getting a lot of the protein sources you all suggest to start practicing ahead of time!!

Good luck to you all! We deserve the very best!

I have been busy! I had my nutritionist appointment at the surgeons office. I had my psych evaluation appointment at the surgeons office. I am signed up for one class a month through the beginning of December. I have a endoscopy appointment next Wednesday. I have a physical therapy appointment scheduled for my knee and foot that I blew out last year when I got too gung ho on the exercise.

I am running into several areas that are very gray. First, the classes that my insurance requires must be 28 days a part. That make me have surgery in January with a brand new deductible.

Then the surgeons office closes for part of the Christmas holiday. So we are not sure of the exact timing on the office closing.

Then the surgeon doesn't do surgery every day so the approved people go into the schedule first. I won't be going up for approval until after class number 6.

I have a folder to fill out, papers to fill out for each class, goals to complete for each week and all of this is turned into the surgeons office for my insurance. There is a BIG binder that houses all of this. I have to log my food each day from next Friday until the approval. The insurance doesn't care if I only lose 1 pound before surgery but if I gain an ounce then I am not approved. Nothing like a little messing with my brain!

I have my final appointment already scheduled for the end of November so I am just keeping that as my goal!!

I have already stopped buying my beloved Fresca and Diet Coke. I didn't buy any more straws. I cleaned out the pantry. I had the talk with my husband to tell him my plans. BOY was that hard! He is wonderful. It was my embarrassment within my own brain that made me feel somewhat humiliated. I said the words out loud...I am unable to lose this weight on my own. He is very concerned about the changes and the surgery of course.

My one friend who was getting surgery with me is now bailing out most likely. She did not get encouragement from her husband and feels the changes are too drastic. I support whatever she decides. I am moving forward!

I have already started eating smaller meals and trying to NOT drink water with meals. I am failing there but I will get better. Husband and I are both chewing more and eating slower! Apparently we WOLF our food.

Yes, the mind games have begun and I am addressing them as they come up. Our lives will be changed and there will be a lot of new beginnings. Everytime I get confused about so many changes then I go over a list of all the things I CAN do instead of what I cannot do.

I start an in person support group next Thursday and I am pretty excited!!

Thank you all for the support! I want to hear from everyone!

I forgot to add to my update that I have to find a therapist to sign a piece of paper saying I am mentally fit to have the surgery. I went online to find an insurance approved therapist and was dismayed at the specialties that covered anorexia, bulimia but not obesity. The programs for eating disorders has a huge list. But these programs do NOT serve the heavy peeps. Discrimination big time, huh?