Two 11 Pound Babies Later...

I am scheduled to have a tummy tuck with major muscle repair on Wednesday, June 18th. I have struggled with this decision for about two years now. I had two babies that weighed just shy of 11 lbs. I have a 7-finger wide diastasis recti (separation of the stomach muscles), which seems to only be getting worse. I am overweight by 20 pounds, so losing that would help a lot, I'm sure. However, last year, I tried VERY hard to close the diastasis through diet and exercise by attending a special postpartum abdominal workout class, dieting, exercising, and going to physical therapy - and it did not solve the issue. I have a permanent pregnancy-looking protrusion (see picture for proof) that is just getting difficult to live with. My belly button is dangerously close to herniating too. I've been reluctant to resort to surgical measures, but here I am - scheduled to go under the knife in two days. I have been scouring this website for the last 6 months, which I think has single-handedly helped me come to terms with my decision to move forward. THANK YOU to everyone who has shared their story before me. It's time to for me to pay it forward.

I spent the first night in the hospital. I was very out of it, mostly sleeping the whole time. It's a strange realization that comes over you when you realize that you were responsible for putting yourself into so much pain. My doctor said that the separation was very wide, and that it had, indeed herniated. She sewed my entire muscle wall together, from right below the rib cage all the way down to my pelvis. She also repaired the hernia. I think that because there was so much repair done, I am in more pain than most for this surgery.

I got home yesterday around noon. The pain, especially when walking to the bathroom is excruciating. The doctor upped my dosage of dilaudid, but it didn't seem to help significantly. All day yesterday was ROUGH. I felt dizzy, nauseous, and in a lot of pain constantly. I also had a hard time breathing. I could only take short, shallow breaths. My temperature hovered around 100 degrees all day. Ugh. It was hard... very hard.


This morning I woke up in a tiny bit less pain, but even a tiny bit less pain is a huge improvement. I feel encouraged that it might get better each day. I stopped taking the dilaudid, because I felt loopy, tired, and nauseous. I'm going to try to manage with tylenol tonight, but if the pain gets to be too much, I'll take some dilaudid to help me sleep. My temperature is down to about 99 now, but I still feel fevered, slightly dizzy, weak, and in pain. I showered this morning with a lot of help from my husband. I then tried to get into my compression garment, which was a cruel form of torture. I did manage to finally get it on, but once I laid down again, I had an even harder time breathing than before. I felt that the garment was squeezing my rib cage so hard that I couldn't get full breaths. I went back to underwear with a velcro binder over top, which is infinitely easier to get on.

I'm sleeping in my bed, which has been fine. I have a wedge pillow specifically designed for surgery recovery, and I have my knees propped up with two other pillows.

When I look down, my huge belly is GONE. I can't tell what it looks like, other than that it's no longer there. I can't even feel happy or excited about the outcome, because I'm still just in the moment managing pain. As soon as I feel up for it, I will try to post another picture.

**focusing on deep breaths
**focusing on managing pain so that I can be more alert
**focusing on trying to get up and walk around (at least for regular bathroom breaks.

I ended up taking the dilaudid's again last night and this morning, because when I was off of them, my stomach was burning and aching. I felt that I'd be able to get more sleep if I kept taking them. My walks to the bathroom are getting a LOT easier. I went solo (without the help of my husband) twice today, and even lingered in the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. It looks like I've made it through the worst of the pain, which is awesome. I'm super tired and sort of dizzy, because of the dilaudid, I think. I'll probably stop taking them on my next round of doses for the rest of the day, and then take them again to sleep at night. It's a delicate balance of pain and alertness. I like to feel alert, so I might be willing to tolerate a bit more pain. I have not unwrapped my binder to get a good look at things yet. I'm a little nervous to face the reality of the scars. I remember my surgeon telling me that there was some "puckering" at the incision, which was one thing I was really hoping not to have :( I think it's better I just keep the binder on for now and focus on healing.