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Day one post op

Yesterday I had my explant and lift surgery with Dr. Feng. The experience was wonderful and I could not have asked to be in better hands.
She spent hours with me the day before answering my questions. This amazing lady is so experienced that after feeling around my breasts she could tell roughly what they would look like afterwards and showed me a photo.
I asked her if there was a difference in how she would do it if I was considering fat transfer or if I was 100% certain I didn't want it. Basically she'd leave a little more room to insert the fat if I wasn't 100% sure I didn't want to do a fat graft - I want to keep my options open so I wasn't sure.
Dr. Feng and her staff are meticulous, very caring and concerned and the facility is world-class.
As mentioned I've been waiting for 8 months but most of my symptoms went away about 3 months ago (as explained in detail in my previous post). I was considering doing HRT with Dr. Feng and I had a consultation with her a few moths ago about that. During the conversation I also mentioned I wasn't sure if my implants were harming me (during a crazy period of denial!), as my symptoms had mostly disappeared and she told me to think more about it as I had time. After she took them out yesterday she looked me in the eye and said she really thought I'd done the right thing for my health. She removed the 'pocket protector' the gortex bag that was Dr Berman's patented solution to my implants never encapsulating again. What a mess, bags of teflon inside me and in fact they were encapsulating! It is shocking that implants have not been banned and now when I look at women who have them I think of them as ticking time bombs.
In preparation for surgery Dr. Feng sent me a very comprehensive list of what medicines/supplements/foods I should stop taking 3,2 and 1 week before surgery. PM me if you'd like a copy, I stuck it on my fridge and it was very helpful.
I was given some Vitamins called Clinical support by Vita Medica (which is lacking in Vitamin E as that's not good before surgery). It also has Bromelain with Quercetin in it. I also got Arnica Montana for after the op. I'm not taking a lot a pain meds (except Tylenol) and I'm feeling good.
Also I bought a super pillow called 'My back sleeper pillow' from Amazon which made sleeping on my back soooo comfortable as it cradles my head so I don't turn it too much and hurt my neck.
Anyway onward and upwards, I'll post some photos soon.

This exploration, like my operation is a long time...

This exploration, like my operation is a long time coming. I wanted to write something, to share my experience as a way to pay forward the amazing support I have felt since I found this website, almost a year ago, at a very scary and dark period in my life.

I’m hoping not just to address the very real and complex physical issues involved with Breast Implant Illness and Explantation (and share some of the insight I’ve gained over the months of extensive research I’ve had the luxury of time to undertake), but I also hope to invite dialogue around the psychological and spiritual reasons we get our implants in the first place, and in those contexts, the very real void that explantation leaves in it’s aftermath.

A year ago I was almost wheelchair-bound, there was something very, very wrong with me, that the countless tests, done by a myriad of doctors over the last 7 or 8 years, had been unable to diagnose. Initially presenting itself as autoimmune disease (which has destroyed the cartilage in my hips), I spent years barking up the wrong tree, with physiotherapy visits, stem-cell therapy and eventually a total hip replacement a few months ago (with the other one due for early 2018).

At 52 years young that’s not normal , and what about the recent symptoms of fatigue, a horrific burning under the skin in my chest, arms and back, and the periodic fibromyalgia I was experiencing? So bad that I could often not sleep. A strong dose of ibuprofen (that I eventually succumbed to at the recommendation of a friend), signing on with a Functional Medicine doctor and getting some great tests, eating clean and supplementing well, detoxing (including amalgams) and treatment from an amazing herbalist/acupuncturist managed to abate those symptoms, but I knew there was still something deeply wrong with me.

That was until I read an article about Breast Implant Illness about 10 months ago, it was like someone had suddenly turned on a light for me. I just knew intuitively, from a wise place deep inside my body, that was exactly what the problem was! I started fervourently researching it, joining both the US and the UK Facebook groups. Interestingly while I have not yet been explanted I have done some real work with letting go of outcome and handing things over to Devine provenance - of all the things that have helped I think this has been the most powerful.

Until I read this I had always been very happy with the implants I had received from a well-renowned Beverly Hills PS in my early twenties, although it was very interesting to note when asked by my husband the other day, while I wan’t crazy about the shape of them, I had nonetheless enjoyed my original breasts too. I had been persuaded about the benefits of large breasts by a well-endowed girlfriend at the time, whose mother was friends with the aforementioned surgeon, and when she offered a place to stay in L.A. while I recuperated, I decided bigger had to be better.

As I say I enjoyed my larger breasts and the mesmerising effect they seemed to have over men (something I’d like to explore more with any of you who would also like to share more on this - I’ll try and formulate some questions when I get time, if it makes it easier). Other than a slight hitch when encapsulation occurred about 8 years ago. I went back to the original PS and he swapped them for a size larger - “well why not?” was his argument. What the &^%^?! I now realise should have been the appropriate response. He also proudly included a special gortex bag he had patented called ‘the pocket protector’, which would prevent them from ever encapsulating again. Very effective, yet it was made of teflon! One day I hope to laugh at the irony, but I’m, not yet out of the woods

So after I had read the bombshell article and found Real Self, initially I just anonymously trawled though the posts of the brave women, who’d so generously given their precious time to share their experiences and photos. It had the wonderful effect of immediately making me feel less alone, less scared and more hopeful. Knowledge is power! However if you’re new to this website, I would also encourage you to get involved by commenting and asking questions, there is something wonderfully supportive in becoming part of a community, and a problem shared is truly a problem halved.

Knowing that my fake breasts were slowly yet unequivocally killing me was one thing, but getting my head around losing the wonderful breasts I had thoroughly enjoyed since my twenties and had been such a huge part of my sexuality/sensuality and the way I defined myself as a women, was a whole different kettle of fish. I have know for decades that I didn’t exactly have a healthy sexual schema. But heck who does! I recognise I’m in good company. I’m pretty sure what’s happening to me now is just grist for the mill and I’m busily deciphering the ‘message in the mess’.

It dawned on me pretty quickly that there was no other option than to explant, but in the time it’s taken to research the right surgeon for me (more on her later) and to wait for the 8 months that she had been booked in advance to pass, the rollercoaster ride that followed was interesting. Even as recently as a few months ago I was still questioning whether there was any conceivable way I could just keep them and just become a detox Ninja instead. Talk about denial, the ludicrously that I would even entertain these thoughts has really taken me into some deep soul-searching, meditation and prayer for the last few months.

If there’s one thing I’m certain about, everything happens for a reason and I’m interested to see where this takes me. So I’m on the plane to the US right now, certain that I’m doing the right thing and excited to get rid of my toxically beautiful breasts and experience the new ones that hopefully I will love and surely will love me back.

I'll post pics and all about my experience soon.

Provider Review

Dr. Lu-Jean Feng