325cc Mentor Silicone HP - Clearwater, FL

I've been reviewing this site for the past 3 months now, and I am so happy it is here! I'm a very private person, but I feel like I should contribute since so many others have. I've been keeping up with several girls and enjoy hearing about their journeys. So here is mine! ; )

I am a little older than most...I'm 44! Like so many of you, this is something I have wanted to do for a LONG time but never have. I recently came to a decision that enough is enough...I'm tired of my current size, wearing padded bras, being self conscious of my small chest size, uncomfortable in a swimsuit, etc. So I decided no more "wishing" it could be different. I'm ready!!

A little about me...I'm very happily married to my best friend for 23 years and have two children in their low teens. My husband is supportive of my decision, yet he has told me many times he is very happy with me just the way I am. He's such a sweetie and I love him beyond words. I am telling NO ONE about my surgery, not even the kids or family. Just my husband knows. Over the past 3 months I have worn rice sizers in a sports bra to slowly increase my size, and I think that has been successful. No "double takes" or "strange stares" at work. If everything works out the way I hope, I'll end up very close to what it looks like I have been.

Now back to my journey...I'm 5'7"...currently wear a 34A...and weigh 145lbs. I have already had my consult and chose my surgeon, Dr. Jennifer Buck. Let me say a few words on that. The staff was very friendly, Dr. Buck had a great bedside manner, the facility looked top notch, and her before/after photos looked good. Surgeon selection...DONE! Because of my age, I had to get pre-screened for surgery (blood work, EKG, and chest xrays). I'm in pretty good health...don't drink or smoke...so that all went fine. Next came my pre-op appointment where I filled out my paperwork, got prescriptions, saw Dr. Buck again, and made final payment. Everything went as expected, and I tried on sizers with the nurse. I will be going with Mentor silicone implants, imframmary incision, sub-facial placement. Dr. Buck said high profile would be best for me somewhere in the 300s for cc amount. I tried on 325cc and that was OK. Then I tried the 375cc and that was OK as well but slightly larger. So then I was like which one??? Knowing so many wish they had gone bigger and I might lose some volume once inside, I said let's go with 375cc.

Then I get home and start looking at girls with that size and profile. Holy cow...is that going to be too big!! ENTER in my mind...doubt and worry. I'm trying not to stress over size. I'm really not set on a cc amount and know that Dr. Buck will be my best determinant. She said she would try sizers in surgery and go with what looks best.

My next post will be my wish boob pics. I did post some of me. Sorry their not the best quality.

I forgot to mention that I did NOT breastfeed my kids (although I tried unsuccessfully with my first). I'm sure that will come into play during surgery for sizing. From the pics I'm posting for my wish look, you can tell that I'm not going huge. I just want what fits and doesn't look too fake. If that means 325cc...then I can live with it or if it means 375cc...then I'm fine with that too although I feel that is my max. We'll just have to see what my PS will goes with. I am concerned for the high profile. Most of my wish pics are for moderate to moderate plus. I don't want too much projection or my nipples in a weird place.

I have to admit that I go through "decision" swings. Like...I'm I really going to go through this? What am I doing!? Do I really want to put myself through pain? What if there are complications afterwards? Is it worth it? Then I have moments of...I'm finally going to feel normal! I can feel the confidence and will power swell inside and think without I doubt, this is what I want for ME. If so many other women can do it, so can I.

I guess I'm ready. The house is clean, all Christmas decorations are up, everything is laid out for tomorrow, and two alarms are set for my 6:00 a.m. wake up. Earlier today I was second guessing but I feel better about it now. My fear is not so much the effects of surgery but that I wont' like the end result. I know it's all in my head...I'm an over-thinker! Oh well, off to get some sleep. I will keep those who are interested updated as often as I can tomorrow. Wish me luck! : )