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A Year Later
It's been over a year since surgery. My weight loss slowed down, but I haven't stayed true to my diet and exercise. I'm down to 213lbs, so 70lbs total. I'm working on getting more exercise in, but due to bursitis in my hip, it's been difficult.
Last week I did something the pre-surgery me never would have done. I entered a local fair pageant. It was the Gallatin County Ms. Plus Pageant. I got 2nd runner up and Ms. Congeniality out of 7 contestants. I was the second oldest contestant and one of two people with no experience. I was pretty proud of myself. I've never been one to get in front of a crowd for anything because I hated my appearance. But this time I felt great. I had so much fun and made new friends. I think I may even enter another pageant in the future.
Would I have the surgery again? Absolutely! My self esteem is better. My health is better. My evergy levels are higher. I love the new me. I've set a new weight loss goal of 30 more pounds. If I get there, I'll be ecstatic. If I don't, I'm still happy.
Last week I did something the pre-surgery me never would have done. I entered a local fair pageant. It was the Gallatin County Ms. Plus Pageant. I got 2nd runner up and Ms. Congeniality out of 7 contestants. I was the second oldest contestant and one of two people with no experience. I was pretty proud of myself. I've never been one to get in front of a crowd for anything because I hated my appearance. But this time I felt great. I had so much fun and made new friends. I think I may even enter another pageant in the future.
Would I have the surgery again? Absolutely! My self esteem is better. My health is better. My evergy levels are higher. I love the new me. I've set a new weight loss goal of 30 more pounds. If I get there, I'll be ecstatic. If I don't, I'm still happy.
One Month Post-op
It's been awhile. Surgery went well and the pain wasn't as bad as I had envisioned. They gave me a pain pump to use as I needed it and I was feeling pretty good. They wasted no time getting me up on my feet and walking. They wanted me up walking every hour, so I walked around the floor whenever I wasn't sleeping. The nurses assigned to me were amazing and I was very happy with my choice of hospital.
I had to stay the night and the next morning they took me down for an upper GI. I had to drink some barium contrast while they took x-rays to make sure there were no leaks from the surgery. Once they verified that I was good, I got to have clear liquids. They gave me a cup of water and a medicine cup that I was supposed to drink out of. Because my stomach was so much smaller and so swollen I could only take small sips, which is normal. They removed the catheter at this point and once they verified my output, I was unhooked from the IV fluids and the pain pump and I graduated to liquid pain meds.
The doctor came by late in the afternoon and ok'd my discharge.
I was very grateful on the ride home that I had put a pillow in the truck the day before. I put the pillow under the seatbelt to protect my belly. I think I held onto the pillow for dear life.
Once home I got settled in with the help of my hubby and spent a lot of time sleeping. When I wasn't sleeping, I was walking around the house and drinking sips of water. My diet for days 1 and 2 were clear liquids only. Day 3 I was allowed to start thin purees. I had frozen ice cubes of chicken and chili prior to surgery and they were perfect portion sizes. I had a hard time eating at first because it hurt if I ate too much, too fast, or too thick of food. I also tried drinking the protein shakes I purchased prior to surgery, but my stomach did not like them. I also learned that pureed green beans are nasty!
My first post-op appointment was about 12 days after surgery. I had lost 22 lbs since my pre-op appointment. Nine of those were lost after surgery. The doctor was happy with my weight loss, but upset that I wasn't getting enough fluids. I was a mess in the office because it was hard to get my fluids in, painful to eat, and next to impossible to get my protein in. The nutritionist said getting my fluids was most important and not to worry about eating food or drinking the protein. The doctor told me to call the office later that week to notify them of my progress and possibly go in for an IV to prevent dehydration.
Later in the week I was not doing any better, but I had commitments that were made prior to surgery and I didn't have time to go in for an IV. I thought I'd be okay. Boy was I wrong! That Thursday night I was experiencing excruciating pain in my right side. The only time the pain was tolerable was when I was laying flat and not moving. I told my husband that if I wasn't better I was going to the hospital in the morning.
I slept flat on my back Thursday night, but as soon as I sat up Friday morning, I knew it wasn't any better. Off we went to the hospital. I thought I had pulled some stitches or something, but the CT scan showed nothing. My bloodwork, however told a different story. I was very dehydrated. They pumped me full of IV fluids and gave me a dose of pain meds. Unfortunately, the meds dropped my BP to 90/48, so they wouldn't give me anything else. They told me it was probably muscular and sent me home with muscle relaxers. I've since learned that the dehydration is what hurt so bad. Since then, I have done everything in my power to get my fluids in.
The week after the dehydration incident I was allowed to start soft foods and it has been much easier to eat. I found myself breaking another rule, though. I was weighing myself everyday. I thought for sure that I was losing pounds because I was only eating 500 calories/day, but the scale wasn't moving. I went back to work that week and everyone was telling me how good I looked and asking how I felt. How did I feel? I felt miserable. I was very depressed and felt like a failure. I became a real B-word to everyone. I knew I was doing it, but there was no stopping me. It got to the point that people just quit talking to me. I didn't care. I felt like a fool for having this major surgery and not being able to lose weight. I thought they were all lying about how I looked and then laughing behind my back about how much of a loser I was.
Then one day I tried to put on my pre-surgery jeans and they were way too big. There was no way they were staying up. I decided to try on a pair of jeans I had gotten 2 sizes smaller than pre-surgery. It was a long shot. They'd never fit me if I hadn't lost weight. I got them up my legs and then over my hips and finally I tried to button them. They fit! Sure, they were a little snug, but they fit! I hadn't worn that size in 7 years! Then I tried on my reward bra. It was from Victoria's Secret and I had never owed a VS bra before. I bought it to reward myself when I got small enough to wear it. It fit! It was a lot snug, but a couple weeks before it wasn't even close to latching. I was finally having a skinny day! I wasn't a failure!
That was my turning point. That's when I began to look at my present self, not my past self. My mood changed. I became friendlier at work. I didn't hate myself. While I wasn't losing pounds, I was losing inches. My body was changing and becoming smaller even if the number on the scale wasn't.
I've since added physical activity to my life. I try to do 1-3 miles on the recumbent bike 5-7 times each week. I've also added walking on the weekends. I eat about 4-6 times a day, about every 2-3 hours. I get my fluids in and I'm up to almost 60g of protein each day. I pretty much only eat meat. There's no pasta, bread, or starchy vegetables in my diet. There's no room in my belly for those. Don't get me wrong. I occasionally cheat. I have sugar free frozen yogurt or a bite of cake every once in awhile, but most of the time I don't have room for anything but meat because I have to get my protein.
The hardest part for me is stopping when I'm full. I love the taste of food. I crave it. It's my drug. If I don't stop when my body tells me I've had enough, that one extra bite hurts like Hell! It takes my breath away it hurts so bad. I could probably puke it up, but I had a hard time puking before surgery, so I don't want to know what it's like after surgery. Most of the time I just stand up and walk to let gravity and my digestive system do all the work. I've lost 4 pounds in the last week. I attribute that to the exercise I'm getting and to eating better. This week I get to move to a full diet, but I really want to stick with what I know. The meat/protein works. I want this surgery to be successful.
Am I glad I had the surgery? If you would have asked me that question a few weeks ago my answer would have been no. But things have changed since then. I have changed since then. I am happy I did it. I'm going to add a couple of pictures from before my surgical journey and a couple I've taken in the last couple weeks. I can see a difference. I can feel a difference. I'm becoming more confident in myself and happier in my life.
What I wish someone would have told me is that the whole process can be overwhelming. The surgery itself is the easy part. Life after surgery, not so much. As an emotional eater I ate away my feelings before surgery. That's not an option after surgery. Just because I can't eat at IHOP, McDonalds, etc doesn't mean my family can't . Just because your scale doesn't go down doesn't mean that your size won't. And just because you get thinner doesn't mean you'll see yourself differently. This journey is definitely an ongoing process, but it's definitely a journey I'm ready to continue.
I had to stay the night and the next morning they took me down for an upper GI. I had to drink some barium contrast while they took x-rays to make sure there were no leaks from the surgery. Once they verified that I was good, I got to have clear liquids. They gave me a cup of water and a medicine cup that I was supposed to drink out of. Because my stomach was so much smaller and so swollen I could only take small sips, which is normal. They removed the catheter at this point and once they verified my output, I was unhooked from the IV fluids and the pain pump and I graduated to liquid pain meds.
The doctor came by late in the afternoon and ok'd my discharge.
I was very grateful on the ride home that I had put a pillow in the truck the day before. I put the pillow under the seatbelt to protect my belly. I think I held onto the pillow for dear life.
Once home I got settled in with the help of my hubby and spent a lot of time sleeping. When I wasn't sleeping, I was walking around the house and drinking sips of water. My diet for days 1 and 2 were clear liquids only. Day 3 I was allowed to start thin purees. I had frozen ice cubes of chicken and chili prior to surgery and they were perfect portion sizes. I had a hard time eating at first because it hurt if I ate too much, too fast, or too thick of food. I also tried drinking the protein shakes I purchased prior to surgery, but my stomach did not like them. I also learned that pureed green beans are nasty!
My first post-op appointment was about 12 days after surgery. I had lost 22 lbs since my pre-op appointment. Nine of those were lost after surgery. The doctor was happy with my weight loss, but upset that I wasn't getting enough fluids. I was a mess in the office because it was hard to get my fluids in, painful to eat, and next to impossible to get my protein in. The nutritionist said getting my fluids was most important and not to worry about eating food or drinking the protein. The doctor told me to call the office later that week to notify them of my progress and possibly go in for an IV to prevent dehydration.
Later in the week I was not doing any better, but I had commitments that were made prior to surgery and I didn't have time to go in for an IV. I thought I'd be okay. Boy was I wrong! That Thursday night I was experiencing excruciating pain in my right side. The only time the pain was tolerable was when I was laying flat and not moving. I told my husband that if I wasn't better I was going to the hospital in the morning.
I slept flat on my back Thursday night, but as soon as I sat up Friday morning, I knew it wasn't any better. Off we went to the hospital. I thought I had pulled some stitches or something, but the CT scan showed nothing. My bloodwork, however told a different story. I was very dehydrated. They pumped me full of IV fluids and gave me a dose of pain meds. Unfortunately, the meds dropped my BP to 90/48, so they wouldn't give me anything else. They told me it was probably muscular and sent me home with muscle relaxers. I've since learned that the dehydration is what hurt so bad. Since then, I have done everything in my power to get my fluids in.
The week after the dehydration incident I was allowed to start soft foods and it has been much easier to eat. I found myself breaking another rule, though. I was weighing myself everyday. I thought for sure that I was losing pounds because I was only eating 500 calories/day, but the scale wasn't moving. I went back to work that week and everyone was telling me how good I looked and asking how I felt. How did I feel? I felt miserable. I was very depressed and felt like a failure. I became a real B-word to everyone. I knew I was doing it, but there was no stopping me. It got to the point that people just quit talking to me. I didn't care. I felt like a fool for having this major surgery and not being able to lose weight. I thought they were all lying about how I looked and then laughing behind my back about how much of a loser I was.
Then one day I tried to put on my pre-surgery jeans and they were way too big. There was no way they were staying up. I decided to try on a pair of jeans I had gotten 2 sizes smaller than pre-surgery. It was a long shot. They'd never fit me if I hadn't lost weight. I got them up my legs and then over my hips and finally I tried to button them. They fit! Sure, they were a little snug, but they fit! I hadn't worn that size in 7 years! Then I tried on my reward bra. It was from Victoria's Secret and I had never owed a VS bra before. I bought it to reward myself when I got small enough to wear it. It fit! It was a lot snug, but a couple weeks before it wasn't even close to latching. I was finally having a skinny day! I wasn't a failure!
That was my turning point. That's when I began to look at my present self, not my past self. My mood changed. I became friendlier at work. I didn't hate myself. While I wasn't losing pounds, I was losing inches. My body was changing and becoming smaller even if the number on the scale wasn't.
I've since added physical activity to my life. I try to do 1-3 miles on the recumbent bike 5-7 times each week. I've also added walking on the weekends. I eat about 4-6 times a day, about every 2-3 hours. I get my fluids in and I'm up to almost 60g of protein each day. I pretty much only eat meat. There's no pasta, bread, or starchy vegetables in my diet. There's no room in my belly for those. Don't get me wrong. I occasionally cheat. I have sugar free frozen yogurt or a bite of cake every once in awhile, but most of the time I don't have room for anything but meat because I have to get my protein.
The hardest part for me is stopping when I'm full. I love the taste of food. I crave it. It's my drug. If I don't stop when my body tells me I've had enough, that one extra bite hurts like Hell! It takes my breath away it hurts so bad. I could probably puke it up, but I had a hard time puking before surgery, so I don't want to know what it's like after surgery. Most of the time I just stand up and walk to let gravity and my digestive system do all the work. I've lost 4 pounds in the last week. I attribute that to the exercise I'm getting and to eating better. This week I get to move to a full diet, but I really want to stick with what I know. The meat/protein works. I want this surgery to be successful.
Am I glad I had the surgery? If you would have asked me that question a few weeks ago my answer would have been no. But things have changed since then. I have changed since then. I am happy I did it. I'm going to add a couple of pictures from before my surgical journey and a couple I've taken in the last couple weeks. I can see a difference. I can feel a difference. I'm becoming more confident in myself and happier in my life.
What I wish someone would have told me is that the whole process can be overwhelming. The surgery itself is the easy part. Life after surgery, not so much. As an emotional eater I ate away my feelings before surgery. That's not an option after surgery. Just because I can't eat at IHOP, McDonalds, etc doesn't mean my family can't . Just because your scale doesn't go down doesn't mean that your size won't. And just because you get thinner doesn't mean you'll see yourself differently. This journey is definitely an ongoing process, but it's definitely a journey I'm ready to continue.
My Biggest Fear
As I sit here only 6 days out from surgery, everyone keeps asking me how I'm feeling. Excited? Yes! Nervous? Yes! Terrified? Extremely!
I've known quite a few poeple to have bariatric surgery and most of them have done well, but there are a few that have gained all their weight back and then some. I am terrified I will be one of those people. I don't want all this time, money and work to be for nothing. Everyone keeps telling me that I won't gain it back because I am so aware of the fact that it could happen. They say the people who gain it all back are the people who had the surgery thinking it would be a cure to their obesity and they thought they were invincible when it came to food. They didn't use the surgery as a tool to weight loss and they didn't put in the work after the surgery. I know this is true, but deep down I am terrified that I will fail. I really think I will need to attend some support groups after surgery. I find that talking about my fears helps me get past the fear. And I think it will be a good way to keep myself in check. So, here's to 6 more days of the fat life and many more days of the healthy life....
I've known quite a few poeple to have bariatric surgery and most of them have done well, but there are a few that have gained all their weight back and then some. I am terrified I will be one of those people. I don't want all this time, money and work to be for nothing. Everyone keeps telling me that I won't gain it back because I am so aware of the fact that it could happen. They say the people who gain it all back are the people who had the surgery thinking it would be a cure to their obesity and they thought they were invincible when it came to food. They didn't use the surgery as a tool to weight loss and they didn't put in the work after the surgery. I know this is true, but deep down I am terrified that I will fail. I really think I will need to attend some support groups after surgery. I find that talking about my fears helps me get past the fear. And I think it will be a good way to keep myself in check. So, here's to 6 more days of the fat life and many more days of the healthy life....
Provider Review
Christopher Northup
Dr. Northup has been great. He's been very supportive along the way and he has eased my fears and addressed my concerns. I highly recommend him!