37 Yr. Old Mom, Makin' It Happen;) P.S. 5'6, 168 Lbs. and Losing... - Chicago, IL

A little over 2 months to go and I've finally pulled the trigger! Like everyone else, I've coveted a new waistline for a loooong time, and with my children officially out of toddlerdome, I am going to do this for myself. Each time I feel mommy guilt over the "lost summer" I am anticipating, I say to myself, "You deserve it!" It works for a moment or two:). I'm mostly nervous about the pain, and freaked out that I will have to navigate a busy summer with having had a major surgery. At this point it feels so far away that I almost don't believe it's even real. But I am tackling this methodically. I downloaded the Glenda Cedarleaf meditation for surgery program onto the iPhone and will start those April 1st. I will start shopping for a secondary binder and granny underpants around May 1st. And I am working out like the dickens and eating very healthy since last summer. I've lost about 15 pounds since then and am kicking it into high gear so that I reach my goal weight. NOT sure what that is! But I want to enter into this in the best shape and best health of my life, so here we go!

So I downloaded a guided imagery album by Glenda Cedarleaf. With a name like that she was born to lead others in meditation:) Or maybe it's her stage name?! At any rate, her voice is calming, and doesn't grate on my last nerve, so I'm on my way in the "Respect Mind-Body Connection" portion of this journey. This will take some discipline as its cutting into my nightly date with my television, but I really think this is important. Studies show that meditation can spead up the healing process.
Where's my head at right now, you ask? I'm almost a little manic- very motivated to excercise and eat healthy. I feel elated, which is a diversionary tactic to ignore my underlying fears. I am still afraid of the pain, but also have this feeling like the surgery won't work for me. Weird. Back to listening to my meditation...

Yesterday was my pre-op with the dr. We reviewed the surgery again and took some "before" pics of me in some very attractive blue paper underpants. I was given a packet with pre/post-op instructions in it. It's so strange- I've been very calm, not nervous- nearly emotionless leading up to now. I get in my car to leave the dr's office and burst into tears! Why, I have no idea!
Amongst the items he suggests to buy in preparation for the surgery: Neosporin or Bacitracin, paper medial tape, 4x4 gauze pads, cough drops, lip balm, Extra Strength Tylenol, Tylenol PM, Metamucil, soup, crackers, anti-bacterial soap, water, Gatorade, prune juice, Ocean Saline nose mist. I got (and filled) my Norco rx. I must shower the night before and morning of with anti- bacterial soap- no hair products- and I'll be the first surgery of the day. He says the tape stays on the scar for 3 months, then I can replace it was Scar Esthetique Scar Cream which can only be bought through your dr.
Physically feeling very strong- emotionally, as well. I just can't believe its right around the corner. It's seemed so far away until now. Doing my meditation at night before bed. I'll drop a line along with my final "before" pictures before I go in. Ciao for now!