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== Decisions and Pre-op : I have had hypermetropia...

== Decisions and Pre-op :
I have had hypermetropia all my life, and it never really bothered me, even though my right eye could not see much at all. I could read well, from close and far. As for many people like me, with glasses on, it felt I could see worse than without ( it takes a lot of time and use to actually see well when you have not been corrected at all). I had glasses but never wore them.
I still felt that it was not right to walk around with just one eye !
I went for the tests, and we decided with the surgeon not to perform the lasik straight away, as the difference in sight would be too much for me (and my brain) to absorb. So I tried contact lenses, starting low in correction, and increasing until I reached the right correction.
It was + 2.5 for the left eye and +5 for the right.
It took 6 months to gradually get there, and I felt fine throughout. I realised then that without correction, I was not seeing that well at all ! Plus, at 40, it started to be difficult to see up close, and that would only worsen...
So I chose the date and went for the lasik surgery. I was a bit innocent about it, I had not read anything before. I just trusted all my acquaintances and friends that had it and were delighted !

== OP day.
The succion cup that is supposed to hold my eye ball did not stay in place well. Apparently, my eye is very flat ! We tried 4 times, and decided to stop there, since an oedema was starting to form.
The left eye could be operated at first attempt.
My right eye was so red that I could hardly see any white anymore ! Quite shocking....
I went home, my eyes stinging, just like when you are close to a fire with a lot of smoke, and they were crying, but it was fine. After 3 or 4 hours, the pain went away. I could not see though. So blurry.

== Days 1-13 == only one eye operated
I pretty much went blind for 2 weeks : my left eye could only see well from very very close, and my right one was, well, not corrected so....
It did not improved at all for those 2 weeks, making it very tiring to work, live etc. It was like being strongly near-sighted.

== Second eye OP
I was nervous the succion would not work, but it went fine, at first attempt.
Still very red (it lasted 5 good weeks in total...)

== Days 15-21
Still "blind", not recognizing someone accross the street. Very tiring.
I became very scared and cautious in my every day life : every scarf I saw, every shoulder bag on someone, was scary to me. I was afraid they would hit me in the eye. I felt so vulnerable and fragile.
I was also not wearing any eye make up, which was new to me (and hard!).

== Weeks 4-7 :
From even before the surgery, we knew that this was not an easy case, due to the difference between my 2 eyes, and the fact that I never wore glasses or anything. My left eye was so used to accomodate, that now, even if it does not need to do it, it still does ! Hence, I don't see well !
Still, I could see progress as the days went by. But it was extremely slow, with some backward days, sometimes a few in a row. Vision is still very blurry when things are far.
My "second" eye hurt a lot, the hyaluronic acid drops did not help, I even felt they stung me, and I had some very very difficult days, due to the dryness. I was nervously exhausted, from the pain and the non sharp vision. Finally, around Christmas, I was having better days, with less pain. Still uncomfortable most of the time.

== Weeks 7-10 :
The dryness is a bit better, but I can't say it doesn't bother me. Apparently, the higher the correction, the bigger the dry eye symptoms are. For sure, I felt it much more on my right eye.
It doesn't hurt at night (and never really did), and mornings are never the same : sometimes it's very hard to open my eyes, sometimes they are watery, and sometimes normal. Why? I have no idea.
Vision is still not good, but my surgeon has no doubt I will see perfectly well in the coming weeks. It's hard for me to measure the progress, it's also hard to be patient. Patience I can deal with, but there's always a part of me that worries that it might stay this way.

About 3 weeks ago, a morning, I saw that my eyes were weird looking, with some glare on them, just like they would be if you had brushed some egg white all over the white part. I know, gross.
I went back to the hospital but they found nothing. It stayed that way, so went back again this week, and they found a blepharitis. Shoot, the one thing I did not want.
My glands are clogged, since the lipid liquid that is supposed to be clear and fluid is too thick and stays inside.
I am so tired of all this. It has been so hard since Nov, 3rd, and I am so ready to live my life normally, but I can't just now. All I think about is my eyes, the fact they hurt, the fact I don't see well, the fact that they are dry, that I might have blepharitis for the rest of my life, that I have to be careful all the time. I almost envy people wearing glasses whom I see on the street. I want to apply make up without it taking 30 minutes to remove.
When my friends tell me that in 2 months I will be happy, I want to believe them, but I am too depressed right now to consider a happy ending.

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