55 YO Ready for Flat and Beautiful Tummy. TT Here I Come

I have disliked my stomach for many years now. After my last childbirth 27 years ago and then a divorce later on I lost about 30lbs. This left me with distorted skin and belly hang in my midsection. I've flexed about 20 of those pounds but I do work out so I have more of a muscular body. I finally decided to get a tummy tuck and was excited I had my year of transformation scheduled for Jan. 14, 2014. I had everything ready. I was also getting a hernia repair and my insurance picked up some of it and it was a super deal. All supplies were ready etc and then the unthinkable came with a phone call that my 31 year old son was in an accident. He was killed in a snowmobile accident 10 days before my surgery was scheduled. Of course I cancelled everything and was still considering it a month later. After inquiring on here with some doctors I felt it best to put it off indefinitely. This was a grief that no one wants to go through. Its been 3 and a half years and I kind of give up on getting the tummy tuck. I think at one time I felt it was a sign that I wasn't supposed to get it and I just give up on it.
I had not ever got the hernia repaired and had a plan to get it fixed before the end of the year because I had used $600 of my $1000 deductible on my insurance, I had no thoughts of the TT, until last week when I former guy I had dated made some comments about this current girl who he is dating and I asked if he felt the same way about me and silence and yes some. It was very hurtful and rude and I see the type of person that he is. I was talking to one of my friends about it the next day and I said it wouldn't have bothered me if I felt totally okay about myself. I know I am a beautiful person but I'm very conscious of my belly, never have hid it when I am dating someone, but I don't like it. She encouraged me to get on the band wagon and do something about it then. And I said well I did have a TT scheduled at one time. So I made some calls, my doctor retired, sad face. I really liked him. I made an appointment with the other Doctor who had joined his practice for Aug. 22nd. Yippee. I thought this will give me a few months to lose a little more weight and maybe get this done the first part of Nov. since one of my employees will be off having a baby at the end of the month. I was nervous though because its a busier time of the year for me to take time off of work. Its always interesting how things work out as I talked to the doctors office to see how far out they are scheduling wise and she said they would be able to get me in 3 weeks if I like doctor. I'm like OMGosh......After a lot of thought and some sleepless night I realize that getting the surgery done in Sept would be much better for me workwise. But then, its allergy season for me and gee I wanted to lose 20Lbs before and wow can I get that done in 6 weeks from now? In my conscious mine I'm not 100% on this but I went and bought a recliner Wed and tonight at Wal-mart I found myself picking up some supplies that were mentioned on here. I realized that okay, I'm going to do this my conscious mind is catching up with the sub-conscious mind and if it all goes well, I could have me a flat stomach next month. I'm a little concerned about the extra weight. I am 5'3" and weigh 169. I really would like to be close to 150. How important is this? I know I need to just chill until my appointment but like other things in my life when the time is finally right it goes fast and I already have a to do list going on in my head. I'm scared, nervous, excited and hopeful. I took the step and took pictures since everyones bravery encouraged me. Would love any tips or advice.

I was just wondering if anyone has had reactions of jealousy if you tell them what you want to do? I'm still nervous about this and was asking myself why and part of it I realized is that I have let a few others reactions affect me. And some say oh, its really painful, its really expensive and then oh, I wish I could get it done. But in the midst they kind of make you feel you are doing something wrong. I love my home but it has some imperfections that I update or improve and I have this one side wall in my driveway where the brick is falling off and its like an eyesore and I want to get it fixed. Does it mean because of that I don't love my house? No, I just want to make it look better and get improvements. That's how I feel about my body. So I thought last night, it may be better just to keep it on as who needs to know basis and no one else. Just wondering if any one else has experienced this.

I'm excited and nervous at the same time. My appointment is this morning so I'm really anxious to see how it goes and what the doctor says.