Radiese . Terrible experience

I write with hope others can read and never use radiese filler as it can't be dissolved "which I never knew nor was I ever explained" I signed for filler that if I don't like it can be dissolved and then when something terrible happened as it has happened to me u will be called as I have the odd person with unusual reaction and small percentage of people with reaction and considering there are 5 million radiese injection successfully injected per year" one life my life my suffering" means nothing not considering it was improperly injected ,superficially and perhaps carelessly injured and having to deal with permanent pain of a nerve injury. I have pic that u can see product coming out my face It has been 8 months in agony scared terrified as the symptoms only getting worse for me . It's real . Believe please . I have pain exactly where I was injected I have swelling burning heat , eye pain ear pain and ice picks scars and skin texture change . The only thing that flactuates is redness . The rest is constant .The right side of my face and the left cheek burns constantly. I till this day don't know what happen to me . I have only been treated with antibiotics and lyrica for pain . I have used months benadryl for swelling Nothing has helped . I continue to live with this and it seems like no one wants to help or understand . I have asked for help months . I'm drained . When I scream for help they say I'm "angry" when i try not to scream and calmly explain and ask for answers they say "we see nothing wrong" or"will get better" or "we never seen this before" how do I win this ? How do I continue to live like this ? I had seen dr from merz radiese company consult I was told "is all in your head " and I'm "exaggerating " it's so painful and unfair very hurtful as I had hope of help and cure . I have been emotionally traumatized by all this . I was called the odd person I was insulted I was humiliated blamed "I asked for filler" forgetting that I was encouraged by the dr alone and turned away by drs that should've help . I have pictures taken daily I will post them one day. I used to believe I'm unbreakable but I broke . I used to always try but I give up .I used to always smile :( that's how I got those laughing deep lines as my dr said and I could fill them not knowing this will take Away my smile. This has murdered my soul and The girl, lady , women , mother , wife and a friend I used to be .It's real and is very painful .I miss myself so much but god I miss so much being able to enjoy my time with my two beautiful boys I have without pain .

I was encouraged by a doctor to do fillers for my laugh lines and to use radiesse as the only side effect will be (I can feel some lump) after he injected I had severe pain half my face is red he told me some radiesse went to the blood vessel and that I will be ok :( lost 10 pounds Iam scared I will die :(