Fat Transfer - Gambling with Your Face - California

On Dec. 25, 2010 I was suicidal. Six months post my ill-fated fat transfer, I woke up to Christmas Day - isolated from family and friends because I couldn't face them.
I woke up alone begging God to take me. It was my wish every night before I went to bed. I didn't have the courage to kill myself, but I couldn't find the courage to stay alive. This was that day that I first posted on RealSelf and started connecting with others who had discovered the horrors of a Good Face Gone Bad.
Five years later, and I don't have as much time to post anymore and age has shown me what real wrinkles look like. At the time of my fat transfer, what I thought was so horrible based on the media's version of perfection - really wasn't there.
In my years of reclusiveness that followed, I found high-definition TV (and lots of it) and realized that all that perfection was an illusion - muted by low-resolution, air-brushing and slick advertising.
So the question became. . . How could it be that I given so much in personality, intelligence and beauty, didn't know it, and manage to destroy it all?
I've had a few procedures since the initial fat removal - a brow lift and eye lift over the course of the 5 years, along with fillers. All procedures were very conservative with the right doctor, so I've been fortunate and their have some high points.
That said, for those of you reading this who haven't gone through a cosmetic procedure, please take this as a cautionary note to do your homework. While I've been fortunate, the recovery process has been costly on an emotional, personal, and financial level. I've never fully recovered my smile and belly laugh, and lost a lot of ground in my career because of this.
For those of you who are suffering because you woke up to a new identity you weren't prepared to see in the mirror - time does heal some. If I had some words of wisdom to offer, I guess it would be to make a choice early on to either seek the best care you can to resolve this, invest in that if you can - or make the choice to move on as quickly as possible to live your life and not lose too much of it. Please do everything you can - mediate, therapy, yoga, positive self-messaging, helping the homeless, or less fortunate, join a support group - to find an escape from the haunting obsessive thoughts and bathroom mirror. Easier said than done - but 5 years later and a lot of hindsight behind me, that is what I'd say to someone.
As I mentioned, I eventually had to pick myself up off the floor, leave the house and get on with my life, so I don't have as much time to post and send follow-up to notes - but I haven't forgot about any of you and wish all of you lots of hope for a the best outcome possible. - GFGB

Hi everyone,
It's been 2 years and 3 months since the original transfer. Many of you have read all the events that have followed. There are so many emotional phases throughout this process. My goal has been to eventually accept what it is and continue to move forward. I don't feel the same way about myself - as I did before the surgery. I'm trying to learn to focus on other things outside my appearance and trying hard to stop wondering what other's see, and trying very hard to stop constantly thinking about how I look every every minute of every day in every interaction . . . .In time, some things do start to fade and the loss you feel may start to subside - particular if you have had some amount of help in revision. You realize you have to survive somehow. I read somewhere that the best curve on a woman is her smile. Instead of being pretty girl. . .I'm trying hard to be the girl with personality :). No one wants to hear about how I messed up my face. . .but it's amazing how people respond to a smile. It's work, but it does work.
So here's my latest tip. When I had my original surgery, the fat right under my eye and near my nose took too well. The outer - not so much and the temples where I was started to need it - nadda!!! The result was a rather ghoulish affect that I've seen others comment about. I have a longer, oval face and due to all the stress and desire to prevent the fat from growing, I kept my weight too low for too long. Unfortunately, this compounded the problem because my temples basically caved in. It's hard to redistribute fat in the temple area once it's gone. So, I had all this fat under my eye and nothing around it.
I just had Radiesse injected into my temples and it has really helped balance my face and offset the injected fat. It also help lift my outer eyes a bit so they look more familiar. Nothing's perfect, but it's amazing how a small change somewhere can impact things so much somewhere else - for better or for worse! Continued well wishes to everyone who is looking at cosmetic intervention. . .and anyone who has found their lives turned upside down by cosmetic interruption!

Laser/IPL Damage The Possible Cause of Poor Fat Take!
WOW, I just has my skin analyzed by a doctor who had one of those machines that can digitally show skin damage. I told him that I was pretty sure I'd been damaged by an overly agressive tech using an ALMA photofacial machine about 6 weeks prior to my original FT. (Keep in mind - the place I went to for the photofacial was recommended by the original Plastic Surgeon's office!) The derm asked why I thought I had been damaged and I explained. We looked at the image and he showed me where the damage (square-like scars) was and explained that the area had clearly experienced devascularization. My mind was racing.

Devascularization is loss of the blood supply to a bodily part due to destruction or obstruction of blood vessels!!! In other words, it is highly probably that this area would struggle to "take" the fat - and in fact, it didn't take on that portion of my face. Studies have been weak in regards to the corrolation between laser/laser-like devices and fat transfer - before or after. Again, buyer beware. Though photofacial is not a laser - damage is damage and I don't think most people know what these machines do.

Now - this is by no means the only issue I had with the fat. It was lumpy and placed incorrectly - and you know the story; however, this is certainly another piece of the puzzle. I'd told the patient coordinator at the office about my experience prior to the procedure. 1) I should have been educated about not having ANYTHING done prior to procedure 2) There was no concern about the fact that I thought I'd been burned. In fact, she told me, she had only heard of there being problems with people having "laser" work done after a Fat Transfer and 3) I'm thinking that people undergoing this kind of stuff should not have any laser work done before or after for quite a long period of time, and be evaluated if they have.

I'm pretty sure my doctor had no idea what he was doing - so him and his staff wouldn't know any different. However, this should seem fairly obvious to someone who is suppose to understand how a Fat Transfer works. What do I know.

My curiosity is - if these image machines are available and can show areas of poor supply - which is an important part of a successful transfer - why don't doctors who are performing these procedures have the machines - or do better job of educating people of these risks? UNBELIEVABLE!!!!! Perhaps this is just another hypothesis on my part. . . but it's as good as any I've heard so far.