48 Year Old Mom of 2 Teenage Boys...time to Get the Body I Have Always Wanted - Calgary, AB

I have never been thin....ever! I was always chubby. As a young woman/teenager, in my mind's eye I was enormous and massively obese! Of course, as so many of us do, I look back at pictures of me when I was in my early 20s and see a beautiful young woman looking back at me. In my early 30s, when I had my boys I was already 180 pounds before getting pregnant. I maintained that weight, give or take 20 pounds, for most of my mommyhood years. When I was 42, I hit 228 pounds. I was a large, squishy 228 pounds on my 5'4" frame. Reality hit me hard, and that day I scheduled an appointment with a nutrition counsellor at Ideal Protein. That program was the best program. I have been on every diet known to man. Nothing worked for me. Ideal Protein did, and I have kept my weight off for 5 years. I hover around 150 pounds, depending on the day. I have a lot of muscle and very little body fat. I still have fat on my legs and butt, but that is where I carry it and don't worry about that so much. I suspect that after my TT I will be lighter because I carry a lot of extra skin, but that may not be the case since I am adding 425CC to my boobs! haha! My BMI is in the normal range.

For more than a year now, I have been creeping this site and reading all of the amazing and inspirational stories...

I have my surgery booked for Thursday, November 19 (next week!). I did not intend to put my journey on here, but thought, I need to give back to the other women who are creeping the pages looking for inspiration.

I don't see my story as all that inspirational, I had no major trauma in my life, I am an ordinary woman who has hanging skin from being overweight and bringing new life into the world and feeding and nurturing these little people that grow up to be massive young men. I thought that I am being selfish for doing this, especially since I am 48 years old. Why do this now? It's not like I have anything to prove at this point in my life, right? People will judge, and look down on you for doing this but the truth is...you do what makes you feel good. This is my life and my body. I have to live in it, not anyone else. My husband loves me regardless of my body, he has loved me at 180 lbs, 228 lbs and still loves me at 150 lbs. At all of those weights, he believed I was the most beautiful woman in the world. I look at myself in the mirror every single day and don't see the accomplishments of my weight loss, fitness level and strength training...only the hanging skin. For that reason, I want this. For my well being, I need this.

To anyone who is contemplating this procedure and feels like they are being selfish...remember, you have to take care of you first so that you have what you need to look after the others in your life. Make loving yourself a priority so that you have love to give others. If we do not love ourselves, how can we love anyone else? This is a hard thing to grasp when you are in full on mommy mode, but it is reality.

Boy can I babble on....

So, I am 8 days away and not really nervous but I am sure I will be at some point. I am having a full Tummy Tuck with Breast Lift with Augmentation. 425cc high profile silicone. I had to really think about the size. I am a little worried they may be too big but my surgeon said that he will be taking approximately 50 cc of extra skin off, so when I liked the look and feel of 375 cc implants, to keep that size and shape, I would need to add back the 50 cc difference from the tissue removal. This made sense to me, so, 425cc it is. I have read a lot of stories and spoken to friends who have had augmentation and they all said they wished they went a little bigger. I hope I don't have that same thought coming out the other end.

Today is Remembrance Day (Veterans's Day in U.S.) and since I am now home from the ceremonies, I am starting the prep on my house since I have the rest of the day off work. Moving the recliner to where I want it, getting my books, mazagines and ereader ready. Scrubbing my house from top to bottom. Prepping my surgery bag (compression garments were preordered). I don't know what else I need until tomorrow. Any last minute advice from anyone? Besides staying calm? Haha.

Tomorrow is pre-op check in day. Will post again soon. By the way, my cost is in Canadian dollars.

Tomorrow is the big day. I had a wonderful send off from my team at work. It was totally unexpected and almost made me cry. I work with such a great bunch of people. I am so blessed to work with these people every day. They sent me off with an adult colouring book, colouring pencils, magazines, a cuddly blanket and some teas. All to give me good healing vibes.

Hubby has been offered a new job and that puts a wrench in the plans. He was intending to take 10 days to be with me and nurse me back to health. However, it looks like he will be starting his new job 4 days after my surgery. My 18 year old son has stepped up and said he will take care of me for a couple days since he is available and not working those days. When the realization that hubby wasn't going to be my nursemaid for 10 days, that was the first time I had worries. I trust my surgeon, I feel I am as ready as I could be mentally, but I really was counting on his presence. I am sure all will be fine. I worry, that's what I do. LOL.

I really was hoping to be back at my ideal weight, which is 10 lbs lighter than I am now but with all the stress lately, I have not been taking the best of care of myself. In the grand scheme of things, this is minor.

Recliner is set up, books and magazines collected, PVR is full of shows and movies, meals are planned and prepped...not much else to do but wait. Thankfully I don't have little ones anymore. My boys will be helping out mom for a while, and they seem pretty ok with doing it. I am so blessed. I wish everyone else out there good healing vibes.

Time to pack my bag for the surgical centre and get some sleep...see you on the flat side!

I was overwhelmed with the emotions as I left the surgical center 2 days ago. I couldn't believe I did this to myself ..what was I thinking!?. It is amazing what a difference 2 days can make. First off. My surgeon did a drain less procedure. I am so thankful that I don't have drains. I had a shower today and got to see the early results. I am so happy with the way things look so far. I'm exhausted from the shower so I will keep this short. Will post again soon. To those of you that are worried about the pain. ..just stay ahead of it. Take your meds on schedule. Don't think you are doing yourself any favors by spreading out the intervals too soon. I am attempting to post a couple pictures. The mark up on surgery day and today with bandages and without. Doc added a little liposuction too. I didn't expect it but he suggested a little that morning. I thought the bruising would be much worse. Sorry the pics are sideways. Hopefully I can fix that when I get to my computer. Good luck to all of you beautiful ladies that are still thinking about this or have finally booked. Healing vibes....