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I'm still here, just saving up for this surgery...

My kids and I have had a lot of financial trouble lately. I just recently got out of a really abusive relationship too, so I'm trying to get my head above water. I still plan on getting this surgery, I just have to get my finances in order first :(

I have a very long story so thank you to anyone...

I have a very long story so thank you to anyone who reads all of this. By the way, thank you so much to all of the ladies who have posted their explant stories, you have helped SO much.

Ok, so in '05 I had my first BA.....huge, over the muscle salines. I was young, (dumb) and fit so they looked good on me....but I wasn't satisfied and wanted even bigger. I was so obsessed with huge boobs back then it's crazy. I developed capsular contracture so my boobs were really firm though.

So a couple years later I had my second surgery and went even bigger....I was IN LOVE. My boobs were *HUGE*. But at that time I loved them and they fit my whole look. Fast forward some.....I developed CC once again, only this time even worse. So my boobs were gigantic, ROCK HARD, painful and were starting to look distorted. I dealt with this for years.....and as the years went on I started to get sooooo unhappy and depressed. I hated my boobs and wanted to be rid of them. My nipples were super low so I also wanted a lift.

So a couple years ago I had my third surgery and got the huge salines removed and replaced with 800cc silicones, and a breast lift. The results are horrible. I'm even more depressed and upset with them than before. The lift results are super bad....you can't even tell I had a lift....yet I have the scars that go along with it (and I scarred badly too)....but my nipples aren't any higher. I also have severe CC in my left boob so that one is distorted, rock hard and super painful.....and the CC in my right boob is not as bad but is steadily getting worse....so it's still a little soft but painful when I squeeze or put pressure on it.

Over the years I had more kids....I grew up mentally, emotionally (and physically of course)....and my whole mindset changed. When I was young I thought big boobs were the best and anything less was unattractive. Now that I'm older I feel differently.....having had humungous boobs and just big boobs....they are seriously overrated and I'm done with them. I had another baby 4 months ago so my body is thicker than I like (I'm in the process of losing the baby weight!). So with 800cc in each boob and an overall thick body, I just look fat and yucky.....so I'm feeling like 800cc is just too big for me now. Gosh I thought I'd NEVER say that a size was too big for me because back then when I was younger, my motto was "bigger is ALWAYS better".....YA RIGHT!! I definitely don't feel that way anymore!!

I just want to be rid of CC for good....I am SOOOOOO super sick of having hard boobs. I just want nice soft, squeezable boobs again. I definitely need another full lift too. I actually wouldn't mind getting smaller silicone implants but I'm sure I'd get CC again so really, what's the point. I guess my body is just not meant to have implants because it keeps rejecting them.

So right now I'm looking for a surgeon for the explant/lift. I've spent SO much damn money on these boobs I'm basically tapped out. So I'm looking for a cheaper doctor....I'm even looking into Mexico. So if anyone knows of any lower priced docs here in California or in Mexico, please do tell!

Also, my kids are always with me wherever I go and I am just sick to death of being looked at by people like a sexual play thing with no brain. It's ridiculous how some idiots think that big boobs = low IQ. Carrying around big, heavy boobs just sucks now too. Dude I'm just DONE.