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I'm really looking for true insight here. Not...

I'm really looking for true insight here. Not just: having a BA will change your life, or everything is perfect after you have boobs.
I want to know how you see yourself now that you've gone through with it, what was the best part, the worst part, why you're happy you did it....
It all started in middle school. I was small vs other girls I thought looked like high schoolers. We are all so impressionable at that age. (I've talked about this with my therapist!....I think everybody should at some point or another.) well, I accepted my fate. My older sister had tiny breasts too so I knew that was it. I decided to focus my energy on being good at school. I told myself: don't get down you're good at other things, you're just not beautiful like those other girls. That sounds wakeful now that I type it. Ugh. I'm a pretty confident person until it comes to boobs.
In the bedroom I rarely let my husband touch them let alone look at them. I've been trying to get over this for ten years. It bothers both of us. I wonder if this could change without me getting a BA?
Sooo my questions are:
1-Can I muster up the courage to get the breasts that a BA can give me? (Yes)
2-Will I have regrets after I have a BA?
3-Do they ever really feel like mine?
4-Will I have better sex without being so self conscious about how i look?
5-How long will they last without needing revision?

Consulting PS with my questions

Information is a powerful thing. My heart tells me I'd love to have breasts, my spirit fears the unknown, my mind says do the research. I've scheduled an appointment to discuss my questions. Hopefully I'll be in a better place to make a wise decision.

My stats

I'm 5'0", 105lb, 35 yrs old.
Married for a decade and four kids.
Always been small. Breasts never filled an A cup.
I've wanted a B cup since high school.
I'm going back and forth about the procedure but last night I thought I should do it and take a chance on living a little. I'm not in high school so I know it has to be a calculated and responsible risk. I have little people to take care of ....and one big person ;) and me!