Decades in the Dreaming

There’s a whole other crowd of us out there....65 and going strong. Older but not old. Mothers who have always placed themselves at the back of the line, ensuring everyone else gets what they need first. Heavy breasted women who have learned to live with chronic pain.

Neck, shoulders and upper back in a never releasing clench; that musculature being chronically engaged while it’s opposite counterparts remain under engaged. Thus the rounded shoulders, which is the beginning of stooped posture and further detriment to the spinal column. The heavy weight of dense breast tissue “supported” like an inverted triangle atop small knees. Think of it as two large scoops of ice cream atop a sugar cone( v-shaped cone). It’s going to topple over. It’s like carry a front pack all the time. And my knees were reporting that burden, that stress, that damage.

Clothes that no longer fit, not because we’ve gained excessively, but that “items” are no longer where they once were. Jackets that won’t zip, because the boobs have not only drifted down but out- like into the arm pit. All the button up shirts that fit everywhere else except that bra/cleavage peep hole. The dresses that “shelf out” from the breasts down like a giant tent. The humiliation of being a petite person but looking like petite jumbo even though it’s not a weight issue. Feeling like that is the only part of your body people see, because it’s overly large and in charge.

Having always been very athletic and physically active, skiing, hiking, paddling, swimming.....

But becoming less active because the impact sports- running, aerobic/HIIT workouts are more than uncomfortable-it’s painful. Let alone trying to get this body into the clothing made for those sports. Which leads to bathing suits, an order where the top and bottom couldn’t possibly be for the same customer. The same for bras, which I’ve probably spent half the surgical fee in pursuit there of. The correct cup size underwire has no rib cage to sit on, it goes off into the air as there’s no torso. I’m only a 32, but I stopped looking or wanting to know the real cup size beyond DDD. I’m sure I was into letters at the end of the alphabet. After having a child and menopause, the orbs went from large round to drooping pendants, for which there is no undergarment made. At that point, the bra just becomes a compressive band.

Though relieving this weight burden will most assuredly take the stress off my vertebrae in which I already have Osteopenia( Likely headed to full-fledged Osteoporosis ), Health Insurance requires 6months of Physical Therapy. If PT could have prevented or cured this, I would gladly have paid out-of-pocket. It’s just ridiculous.

So after decades of pain and unhappiness, I finally pulled stuff together to take care of me.

I live in a rural New England state, not a lot of resources available. I researched the two nearest local Plastic Surgeons. The waiting time was at best a year to two years. I’m not getting any younger. I was able to finally at least get a consult with one, unimpressive would be the nicest word. So I began researching the Top Docs, after all I’d waited half my life for this. Dr. Salemy popped up. His Credentials starting with Yale Medical School , University of Washington Residency and 15 years of private practice as Madison Towers Plastic Surgery are impeccable. That’s over 20 years of experience. When you’re looking for the best, you want the person that’s got 10,000 hours in; that a well-honed surgical skill set.

As much as I value that surgical skill, the thing they can’t teach you in medical school, that is as paramount is Compassion. Becoming a doctor is a long haul- 12 years, more for surgeons. So much to learn undoubtedly can beat some humanity out of one. However, Dr. Salemy is equal parts expertise and compassion, knowledge and kindness, commitment and communication.

Though the credentials are what drew me to Dr. Salemy, his caring concern is what I walked away with. You can do a lot for people, but what will always be remembered most, is how you made them feel. The notion of bedside manner is almost vestigial. Yet Dr. Salemy exudes this by how carefully he listens and reiterates what he is hearing you say, by leading with dignity when you are barring both your body and soul, by his humbleness and humility that seem to come from a very purposeful existence. He has an innate ability to be in touch with people’s psyche. Sending photographs for a breast reduction is at best a feeling of a police mug shot; it’s just dehumanizing.

However, interpretation of my photos were met with four words, “I can help you”. For me that translated as I can lay my burden down with this Doctor. He can do it, he gets it.

Certainly, the number one reason for my breast reduction was the chronic pain, which overrode everything in my life. However, post-surgically its so nice to see that my secondary reason, which I had never quite allowed, a sense of self dignity, worthiness and confidence has really risen. Prior to surgery, I didn’t want to be in any family or friend photographs or I cropped them to portrait style, neck-up. Now, that deprecating feeling is gone.

I’m short, barely 5’2”, but I’ve felt 5’8” since surgery.That’s how tall my spirit soars. I’ve been thinking about this for over 3 decades and came over 3,000 miles to have this procedure by Dr. Salemy. My advice is don’t wait that long if you can; that way you really get to “live” that much longer.

Behind every great Doctor is a Team and Madison Towers Plastic Surgery has a super team. From my early phone inquiries to application, I felt like I was being treated like a client. Being from afar, I had no person-to-person contact until I arrived the day before surgery, but through emails, phone calls and zoom calls, I already felt I knew these people. The administration team streamlined all the documentation, worked out my scheduling and financial payments. The nursing staff assisted with post-surgical dressings and teaching me how to do so myself so i felt confident. The actually surgery, well who remembers that :) yet I would be most delinquent in not thanking the assisting surgical nurses and anesthesiologist, all of whom made me feel very calm as I was in the best hands.

Not much to write post-surgically. So little pain associated with this surgery. Tylenol was enough for the mild discomforting sensations. I did not even fill the prescription for the stronger pain killer.

The only minor snafu I had was with the Scopolamine Patch. Inadvertently, a couple days later I saw a piece of plastic on the vanity, not realizing it was the backing to the patch, I picked it up and threw it away. Trace amounts of it were on my fingertips and I touched my face/eye. Suddenly I had a blurry eye and a hugely dilated pupil. It was a bit of a scare, it I was staying with two nurses who went through all the possible scenarios. I called Dr. Salemy’s office as they had made sure I had a number to call in case of emergency. Dr. Hakim Said,(newly joined Surgeon in Dr. Salemy’s office) was on call and calmly and methodically went through the situation and left me feeling reassured that all was ok. Again, the feeling of we’ve got your back.

To say the 4 hour surgery was the best 4 hours ever spent has to be underscored. I feel great. I feel I have the proverbial new lease on life and am so grateful to have found Dr. Salemy and the entire Madison Towers Plastic Surgery team.

With deep appreciation and gratitude .