Whose Beautiful Breasts Are These? 38J to 38D, an Emotional Experience

Intro
I have thought about a breast reduction on and off for 25 years but life gets in the way and who has time for 6 weeks recovery. I was too embarrassed to tell work that I needed time off for a breast reduction. I made excuse after excuse but finally it all got to me. I had lost weight but clothes just didn’t fit, I was tired of paying $150 for European bras no matter how beautiful they are, I was tired of always having sweaty boobs and fighting the rashes that were coming with more frequency. I always felt dirty and smelly. Not to mention the pure weight on my neck and back. My husband loved them but I felt so bad about myself, I never let him see them anyway. I am 54, 5’7”, 200lbs and a 38J. I have been large since I was 13 years old. I waited to write my review until this point because things change from day to day and I wanted to provide an honest review so I apologize in advance for the length of this review.
First Consult:
I finally got the courage to visit Dr. Dickie in Barrie. I initially went for a Mommy Makeover consult – tummy tuck and breast reduction. I was pretty sure I could get the BR covered by OHIP so figured it would save me money by doing both together. Dr. Dickie took some photos and then spent time explaining/drawing both procedures and the results I could expect. Due to my size, he would use the anchor technique and I would need a Free Nipple Graft (FNG). As for the tummy tuck, after 3 kids, I have excess skin (kangaroo pouch) that would need removing along with everything else. I would look great but because both required extensive work, he did not recommend doing both at the same time. The time I would need to be under anesthetic, along with my high blood pressure was just too risky and he wasn’t comfortable with that. I was really disappointed, especially after finding out how much the TT was going to cost if I chose to proceed. I did some research after the consult and discovered that most reputable doctors would agree with Dr. Dickie. I am sure I could have found a Dr. that would have done it but I value my life thank you and appreciate the honesty.
My views on FNG:
One of the reasons I kept putting this off was fear of having an FNG. The thought of cutting off my nipple and moving it just really didn’t sit right with me. But now was the time. I had to get over that. At 54 I am done with having babies so breast-feeding is not an issue. Loss of nipple sensitivity is also a concern for many but as I said, I barely let my husband near me so it couldn’t get worse.
What size would you like?
The question I feared. I have been large as long as I can remember. I was currently 38J, what would look right? I suggested 38D. I struggled with this question for the weeks leading up to surgery. I have heard people go too small and those that were still too large. I am not doing this again so finally went with the risk of going too small and at the final moment, right before surgery I said “38C”.
Day of Surgery:
I was pretty calm. I had made my decision and was going to see it through. I said goodbye to my beautiful Italian bras and off I went. I saw Dr. Dickie in an exam room where he marked me up and asked size again. 38C I mumbled. I was getting lipo with the BR to ensure a good result. I have heard those that didn’t get it, regret not getting it. I am glad I paid the extra money to do this (approx. $2500).
As I lay on the operating table there was a commotion in the corner as a nurse did something stupid and apparently I had a shocked look on my face that made them all laugh. I was just afraid they were going to cancel the surgery for some reason. The last thing I remember is Dr. Dickie laughing as he asked me if I had anything else to say. I just told him to have a great afternoon because if his afternoon was good, it could only mean good things for me! I will add here that I think he had a good afternoon!
I woke up and was in quite a lot of pain. I was in post-op for a while as I kept asking for pain meds but finally 7 hours after arriving at the hospital, I was on my way home, in the middle of a bad snowstorm, in November! It took us twice as long as usual and I just wanted my bed! I took as many pain meds as allowed and my first night wasn’t too bad. I have an adjustable bed that has been a life saver! I was able to comfortably sleep sitting up with my legs raised.
Recovery:
The first few days are a bit of a blur. I was taking pain meds as often as possible. The compression bra was so tight I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I had drains in too but honestly, they didn’t bother me at all. I drained them every night at the same time. First day there was 10ml and the following days less than 5ml combined. The drains were easy to empty and reset. They were taped on my belly and stayed out of my way. My sides were sore from the lipo and it was a very strange sensation whenever I stood up. I would get out of bed and have to stand for a minute while everything settled. And then it happened…the itchies! Oh my gosh, everywhere, front, back, up, down and nothing I could do about it. I think I took the pain meds more for that than for the pain.
I stayed in bed for a day and then made myself get up and spent the days downstairs armed with laptop, tablet, phone and tv with Netflix. I had my husband leave cups and stuff on the counter for me and I coped fine by myself.
5 days after surgery I went to the doctors office to have the drains and bandages removed. I was a little nervous to have the drains out but I didn’t feel anything. Probably because I was a little numb down the sides. The nurse removed the bloody bandages. Yuck! And I could finally breath! The Dr. and nurse removed the stitches and bolster on my nipple graft but left tape on them that was to stay on for 2 weeks. This was the first look I got at my boobs. Hmmm, um, not sure what these are or who they belong to, they are sooo tiny but they looked good. The nurse also taped the incisions and suggested I use Scar Recovery gel and keep it taped to keep the cream on the incision rather than on my clothes! That night I got a good look at my new breasts. I was a little overwhelmed, they really were tiny and really hard. They were also boxy and with the incisions they were just all out of shape. I had read enough on here that I knew they would relax. I didn’t have much bruising and the incisions actually looked okay. Did I mention they were tiny!!!
The next 2 weeks were spent basically taking it easy. I did some serious Netflix binging without feeling guilty. I got tired very easily and the itchiness was always there. The nipple zingers were really annoying and I still have those. Minding your own business when “pow”, your nipples just start sending shooting pains right through you. I took this as a good sign that my nipples were okay. Having not actually seen them and having read horror stories about nipple necrosis, I was constantly worried that my nipples were just big black, gaping holes. I tried to lift the tape and peek but thought I might just rip the nipple off. I really was freaking out about my nipples. It was a long 2 weeks and the day I was to have the tape removed, the office called to reschedule due to a flight cancellation totally out of Dr. Dickie’s control. I really wanted the tape removed and they agreed that the nurse could do that! I almost cried when the tape was removed and I saw 2 beautifully pink nipples. They were beautifully pink, not necessarily beautiful! Scab covered and wrinkly but they were pink! I was concerned the scabs were necrosis but was reassured that everything was fine. I could barely see the incision, they looked like they belonged there. I was very impressed with the result. I have ugly nipples, I have always had ugly nipples so there was not much he could do about that! I still cannot see where they are attached, they really are fantastic.
After the tape had come off the nipples I went through a period of extreme sensitivity. Everything irritated them. I was constantly tugging at my bra to get them off my breasts. The bed covers were just too heavy. I just wanted to lay naked. I bought some Gold Bond Medicated cream to try and soothe them. The cream has cooling menthol. It was an awful week and it was very draining. I contacted Dr. Dickie and he assured me that this would pass. It just disappeared one day and I think that was the turning point and it has been all up from there. That was at 3 ½ weeks.
The incisions changed a lot over the next couple of weeks. Scabs came and went and would freak me out but it all finally settled down. I had no separation and everything went very smoothly.
I took pain meds regularly for about 3 days then cut back day time use and switched to regular Tylenol and took the pain meds at night to help me sleep.
I thought I would be ready to return to work after 2 ½ weeks but ended up taking an extra week. I have a very stressful job and found sitting in a chair all day was uncomfortable. The pain from the lipo is the worst and apparently I could have this for some time. It is not constant but I definitely feel it when I do too much and now it is just an irritant rather than painful.
Just before Christmas I went to buy a couple of non underwire bras. I wanted something other than a sports bra to wear over the holidays. I was happy to fit into a 38D. I also bought some nicer exercise sports bras and fit properly into an XL from Walmart. $13. I bought 2 nice bras, one nice sports bra and a pack of 3 fruit of the loom sports bras for nighttime, all for $50. I was on cloud nine! I put the beautiful pink sports bra on and wanted to lift my shirt and show everyone. I am not an exhibitionist but my gosh, what a pretty bra on pretty boobs! I have actually lifted my shirt in front of a couple of unsuspecting friends.
The emotional story:
I have been through a lot of ups and downs over the past few weeks. I think this is normal. Sometimes I loved my new breasts and sometimes I hated Dr. Dickie for listening to me and not offering his opinion and tell me to stay larger. I have had large breasts all my life, they have defined me, I know men talk to me because I have them, women are envious of them and now they are gone and I am normal. The other thing that happened was I could now see the rest of me. I had never really looked at my stomach because it was always hiding under my boobs. I had used my boobs as an excuse to carry the extra weight but now I am confronted with it and don’t like what I see. I now feel fat but I know I have not gained any weight, I can just see it!
It really is an emotional roller coaster journey. We are all prepared for the pain, the mutilation, the bruising, the scars, all of that but we are not really prepared for what it does in our heads. The highs and lows. The realization that you can’t go back, you will never have those babies again and I really was attached to them!
My husband has tried to be supportive but he really loved my breasts. In the beginning he said some really insensitive things. He could not have understood how I was thinking. I was really questioning what I had done and was concerned they were too small and he kept saying things like, “yeah, you have nothing now” or “the guys won’t even look at you now” or simply telling me how much he loved my old breasts. He didn’t mean to hurt me but I didn’t need to hear it. This was a tough decision and I am not ready for those remarks. I finally had to ask him to stop. He still says things from time to time but it’s much better.
My thoughts on Dr. Dickie and the Clinic
I only had one consult and often felt that there should have been another one prior to surgery. In fact it really bothered me but having gone through the process I am not sure what we would have discussed, so one consult really is okay for all you ladies wondering.
I have heard people complain about Dr. Dickie’s bedside manner. I admit he can come across as aloof and uncaring but I think he is just a quiet guy. I really don’t want to be all chummy with a Dr who is looking at my breasts. It would just be awkward. He maintains a professional relationship and was always reassuring and made me feel comfortable about reaching our with any questions at any time.
He is very good at what he does, his work is great. My incisions are great, my breasts are symmetrical and even.
Whenever I had questions, I would send an email to the office and either the staff or Dr. Dickie would respond. I sometimes found the response time a little slow but a phone call would get instant response. The staff are all friendly and respectful. The facility is convenient and beautifully decorated and parking was never an issue.
They are also not pushy. They give you the information and their recommendation and leave you to make your decision. I appreciate that and makes me more likely to return in the future.
The end:
It’s been a real journey and I have a long way to go. I still can’t quite get my head around these breasts on my body but they are pretty. I still hate my nipples. My areola is good but nipple is pretty flat. I barely had one before so this has not helped but I do not blame the Dr. for that. The breasts have softened a lot and have a better shape and I can see cleavage now. I am looking forward to summer and wearing pretty bras and tanks tops. I can finally wear racer tops. All my blouses and jackets fit great. I finally returned to the gym this week (6 weeks post op) and am determined to work on my bottom half. As for the TT, it’s on hold for now. It really is major surgery and not sure I am ready for it emotionally or financially. I want to see what I can do physically now that I am not carrying 5lbs extra on my chest. For the past couple of years, I have been running in the Breast Cancer 5K and really want to see if I can improve my time now that I am lighter. And looking forward to seeing my photo as I cross the finish line. The one from this past September was mortifying. My husband didn’t want to show me because I was just one massive boob. He was embarrassed for me. I love going shopping now and seeing the things that I can wear. I have more good days than bad. I have one more hurdle to cross, seeing somebody that knows me but doesn’t know I had the surgery. It will be interesting.
I am glad I did this and I am happy with the size and I would definitely recommend Dr. Dickie. I have a lot more respect for him now than when I started this journey.