39 yr old mom, 5'2 and ~135 lbs (COVID gain)

One week away: EEK
Taking the plunge for a BL with augmentation. Still pretty private about it, aside from my PS, GP, and one friend (only because my doctor won’t let me take an Uber home or spend the night by myself.) Haven’t even told family. I have a co-parenting schedule, so have a few days of recovery before child comes home & hope to be able to hide it. Struggling with the optics (literally & figuratively) of it all.
I was always larger-breasted for my frame (hereditary), so they were never perky (also hereditary). Was about a 32C thru my 20s, when I became a D/DD. My mother struggled with deflation & sagging for as long as I can remember, so I always knew it would be an issue someday. Then nursing & weight loss (gained/lost 50 lbs after an injury) made it all bit certain. The shape & size has changed a lot over the last year or so (even though I got measured again last year, my PS says I'm definitely not a D cup anymore), so I'm doing it now before the sagging/deflation gets too far along. And it's easier to recover in quarantine anyway.
Struggling with how it feels so vain & extravagant for me to do (mind you, I felt guilty the first time I got house-cleaning & got an earful from my mom, too.) BUT, last Christmas, I mentioned the sagging to her & SHE was the one who brought up the BL: “If you’ve ever thought about doing it & you have the means, you should.” I can tell she wishes she had. So here I go! ????
Still not entirely sure I know what I’m doing or what I’ll be getting, despite looking at ~500 boobs online (my phone’s photo album makes me look like an absolute pervert.) Appreciate any tips you have on how you came to a clear vision & communicate that with your doctor!
PS. I'm about 8-10 lbs heavier than normal (I tried to fight it, but the holidays + quarantine creep got me. Have been fluctuating all year!) Also makes me a bit nervous: what this downtime will do to the bulge & what losing it again will do to the boobs!

”It has been a privilege playing with you”
[queue Titanic string quartet]

Thanks to this app & all of your stories, I’ve been prepared for the emotional roller coaster of the last couple days. While my PS and surgical staff were great, the recovery period is no joke (my implant is under the muscle & that muscle pain is REAL.) I couldn’t even lie flat on my back without horrible muscle cramps until last night (still there but bearable) And seeing my boobs for the first time at my post-op appointment (Day 2) – well, I know not everyone loves theirs straightaway since they’re not in final condition. I didn’t love mine at all. In fact, I was so overwhelmed with regret I thought I was going to pass out, I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. (I mean, there’s really nothing left to do but pray the next few weeks away & hope things turn up.) I felt like I’d gone from one type of mom boob to another – they were super full like when I was nursing, but didn’t have as much lift & perkiness as I’d expected. I’d asked for a more natural look – I didn’t want fem-bot boobs & always liked my original breasts, so just wanted to restore them but with extra lift since I never experienced perkiness as a big-breasted teenager. I even remember joking with my doctor about not being able to hold a pen underneath them. So I’ve been staring at them a lot the last 24 hours since my post-op. Already there’s a difference, with the swelling going down. They are looking more natural, but do wish there was more lift – even just a quarter or half inch. My doctor did say some of the emptiness at the bottom of the right boob may sort itself out or we may take care of it in his office. So I’m crossing fingers & praying we get closer to wish pics with each day. I know it’s still an improvement from before, in a way, but I still could’ve lived with my girls. By doing this surgery, I wanted to experience perkiness while I’m still young in a way I never had before. (Oh and ps, the post-surgery bloat is real, too!! I think that’s also throwing things off)
PPS – I ended up with 255ccs in each breast