Day of surgery

I regret ever having this surgery done. I blame it mostly on the surgeon. I had problems within 3 months and he failed to fix anything. Now I’m dealing with capsular contracture on one side plus the lateral displacement on the other breast which has been there from the beginning. Here is an update of my Frankenboobs!!! Soooo sad!

I got breast implants(under the muscle, 560cc, silicone) March 7, 2018. It is now June 4th, 2018. I regret my decision! I wish I would not have gotten breast implants. I spent $7000 I did not have to “enhance” my life. I did not fully understand all the difficulties and problems that come along with breast implants because I wanted them so badly! I did it know all the issues that can come alongwith this surgery, and I have been through 2 grueling years of nursing school and am now studying to take my boards to become a registered nurse! How did I miss this?!? I thought the “problems” would not apply to me and I would have nice perky breasts like models on tv... noooo! I wonder how all those women look lying down a well and how many of them deal with pain/pinching/numbness/ and insomnia?

I keep writing that I’m satisfied but truth is, I am not. I like the thought of bigger breasts sometimes, and it does make me feel sexy, but I also do not feel like me. They are large and uncomfortable, they are displaced badly when I lie down on my back, I have no feeling, other than pinching pain, in my right breast and my left one hurts all the time. Also, I feel like I have had some immune issues... I’ll be more specific, HSV2 has appeared twice since my surgery, something I’m guessing I contracted in the past and my body was always able to fight off... I have been on an antiviral since. Also, I’ve had a lot of fatigue and concentration issues, and i am now in Adderall. My doctor is a very nice doctor and I do like him very much, but now after all the research I’ve done on breast implant illness + dealing with lateral displacement, I’m having a lot of regrets. I would never have even researched any of this had I not began having issues (keep in mind). I wish I wouldn’t have been so unhappy with my body before, so maybe I would’ve been able to think this through more and do more research. I can honestly remember thinking, for some insane reason, that if I had bigger boobs my life would be better. I do not know what I was thinking. I want my old self back! I never thought I’d say that... I want my little droopy breast back that breastfed 2 of my children for 2 years, and I want to go back to church comfortably. I feel too embarrassed. I’m finding Lots more regret than I realized I had now that I’m typing this out. Anyways, here’s pics of me lying down :(. It crosses my mind to get revision, but I may explant. I’m not sure yet. I’m afraid of how I will feel afterwards as well.