I Dreamed of Feeling More Feminine...

I decided to undergo a bbl to feel more feminine. During puberty I suffered from a disorder that caused me to not develop hips and breasts in the typical way and its something I’ve long felt very insecure about. Though I wasn’t overweight I had a surplus of fat in my abdominal area, making me a good candidate for the procedure. I consulted with three NYC doctors and ultimately chose Dr. Sterry, because he supported my goals and seemed competent and ethical. All went well until the day of surgery itself. I was feeling terrified about going under and as Dr S was marking me up he made deprecating comments about the uneven shape of my breasts and appearance of chest hair. The nurse was there and I felt so embarrassed. He then proceeded to mock what I wanted done, “so we’re going to move this…” he motioned to my abdomen area, “here!?” ...he motioned to my hip area. It was exactly what I wanted done, and what we’d previously agreed upon, and yet he made it sound like the silliest request he’d ever heard. In the end he told me he’d just inject the fat into my butt not my hips, and I didn't really stand up for myself; I was just too nervous about the procedure. I wish he’d told me he thought this idea was silly in the consultation. At that time I was relaxed and could have advocated for what I actually wanted, which was hips. Had he really insisted he didn’t want to do the procedure, I could have found another doctor. It was just strange to me he seemed so onboard until the moment before I went under. My results aren’t botched, but I didn’t get the feminine shape I always dreamed of. He injected a small amount of fat (250 ccs total) and threw the rest away. The saddest part was how hard I worked to care for that 250 cc's. I didn't sit on my butt a whole 6 weeks, because I just wanted it to live so bad. The greatest loss for me isn’t the money but losing the chance to repeat the procedure. Once the fat is gone, you can’t inject it again. My options to feel more feminine are now limited to implants which don’t look as natural and which I would rather avoid. I want to be clear that he didn't botch me in any way but he didn't listen. I think that's an important part about being a surgeon. Don't just do what you think looks good, listen to your patients. Support their dreams.