38 Years Old//1 Child//Afraid I'm Wasting my Money - Birmingham, AL

Hello Flat Siders, Pre/Post Ops and Looky Loos. I am 3 weeks post op and it's been challenging. First, my daughter and one of my sisters came to assist after surgery. My daughter stayed three days, my sister and entire weeks. At the time, it seemed more than sufficient; it was not. Once they left; I was totally alone most days were manageable but some days were not. Secondly, I Went back to work much to soon. I was only 9 days post op when I returned to work. I felt really good leading up to it. I was walking erect (mostly), my drains were gone and I was going several days without pain meds. My first day at work was barely bearable. My incision was on fire, by mid day walking erect was impossible and my back hurt beyond belief. Here's the really crazy part, I felt the majority of my team thought I was faking the pain or being unnecessarily dramatic. Cosmetic surgery can be a source of convert condemnation and overt judgement. Anyhow, my first day back to work was bad but I summarized it would get better as the days wore on. I was wrong. In fact, everyday it got worse; harder and harder to manage the pain, walk erect (or otherwise) and almost impossible to hold back the tears. At times, I was in so much pain I'd uncontrollably shake as if I were cold. Then I began to swell under my incision generalized to both side of my mon pubis. It was so painful putting on panties was a tearful experience. Anything that came into with the area, no matter how light, caused me to buckle over in pain. Of course, I went to see my PS. He assured we all was well, massaged my entire torso, checked for fluid build up and told me to ice it. I went back to work to finish out the week. Two days later, I was finally off and sent the entire day in bed with frozen pea on my mon pubis. Several hours later the swollen subsides. Yay, right? No...no yay. As soon as the swelling went done my incision started to leak....a lot. Terrified I videoed the leakage and texted it to my PS. He called me (on a Sunday night after 8pm) back and told me the leakage was not necessarily concerning, to place gauge around it and continue the massages he taught me. Basically, let it drain and help it drain. He promised to call me tomorrow.
My PS is a kind, caring and competent physician. However, I'm starting to get really scared. I'll keep you posted.

First, I must say (thus far) my SP and team have been absolutely wonderful. They are kind, nice, informative and compassionate. They are truly loving people. Now, here are my many complaints.

I'm still hurting; mostly my scar. I can't see my scar because it's under hospital tape and I don't dare attempt to pull it up for a peek. But it hurts. 2. My drain ports are spawns from the pits of Hell. I freaking hate these drains. They are disgusting and uncomfortable at the port site. Every time I go to the restroom I just want to snatched them out. I hate them. Seriously. They were developed by Satan as instruments of frustration and torture. 3. Bathroom visits in general; bowel movements specifically. Just uncomfortable. Am I the only person who has to bring a pillow to assist with my bowel movements? It's just me? Ok! 4. Coughing/sneezing/laughing without a pillow firmly pressed against my abdomen is horrible. Especially coughing. I refused to confuse without a pillow. Ive instructed my family that if a coughing spell occurs and a pillow isn't within arm reach, just let me choke to death because coughing without a pillow pressed against my belly is unacceptable...punishment worse than death. 5. Walking. When will I be able to take more than 28 steps without the sudden onset of intense exhaustion? When is that day coming? I'm tired. I'm bored. But mostly I'm tired of being tired and bored. I just wanna get back to normalcy. I miss work and walking the the mailbox without getting winded and sweeping my floors and making my bed.

No pictures because I honest to goodness look exactly the same as I did pre op.