A True Artist

I had a lot of botched surgeries starting years earlier when I should have left my face alone. My case is not very typical as I was born in between and have had children (as a woman) and lived my life as a woman and girl. I have a form of intersexualism that is known as "true hermaphrodite" in that I had the organs of both sexes with testes in the abdomen and removed and PMDS with a functional uterus and female reproductive system. I was, however, due to the presence of the testes, masculinised to some degree.
Unfortunately I was very self-conscious and very hyper-critical of my looks. From when I was young guys liked me a lot, in fact I was very popular with the opposite sex and it had to do in many ways with the exotic look of my face. I saw, however, masculine features and I was self-conscious.
When I was in my 20's-that is back in the late 90's until about the turn of the century, I stumbled across something I found fascinating; Dr. Douglas Ousterhout's book on the difference between female and male faces. I was consumed with the book and in myself I saw a very low hairline (a perfect feminine feature) however I did see slight "bossing" of my brow, albeit too slight to have been dumb enough to touch back then, high eyebrows, and a long chin that did not give me the dimensions that make the perfect female face. When I say a long chin I am not talking Jay Leno far closer and less prominent than Sarah Jessica Parker.
Being European I did not want to travel all the way to the USA and pay the price of a house downpayment for most of us mere mortals (especially us overtaxed Europeans) and so I sought out anyone else that did it and made the most horrible mistake of my life and went to Dr. Noormal van der Dussen in Antwerp. I was married to my first husband and did not want to let him know so I told him I was having some "rejuvenating" procedures and insisted on going alone. This was a huge mistake.
I woke up in the clinic throwing up blood and calling for a nurse who never came. I was in excruciating pain and had no idea what hit me. A day later I was back at my hotel and saw my face for the first time. Without my permission my nose was done, my chin was just "hacked" off, my deep set eyes (something men always commented on) were now hollowed out or what is known as baby doll eyes (a very masculinising trait) and my hairline was completely ridiculous. I do not know why but he gave me a forehead lift and I was 28-but it was not just a forehead lift, it was a bizarre bunching together of my hair in several areas and a very long forehead was created in the shape of an M (which is what male hairlines look like) and my nose was crooked. I knew immediately I made a horrible mistake.
My husband met me at the airport a week later and his first comment was, "You ruined your face". I knew this but hearing it was even more painful. I went from nobody ever knowing anything was different about me to actually be "read" as a transsexual. It was devastating. Over time I learned to conceal as much as I can and live "around" the errors. I actually went back to Dr. Noorman van der Dussen and complained and he told me I looked like a model and blew it off.
Subsequently, thus my moniker on here, I sought to correct the problems which led me to many procedures and many doctors. Some helped a bit, some made things worse. The worst one was being told a chin implant would help, well actually it did not only not help but it was bulky and made me have a square face and became encapsulated. It was another blow in my chasing face.
My final stop was Dr. Harrison Lee, and I did not know he had done Caitlyn Jenner's surgery (perhaps that was for the best) but I did know he had a stellar reputation.
My first meeting with him was beyond anything I expected. He did not sit me in a chair and look over every tiny thing on my face with someone next to him taking notes as he spoke aloud measurements and talking over me. I came simply for my chin and jaw area but he, from a seat across from me in his private office, more or less mentioned all the things I knew I needed without too much hesitation, it was like an innate ability to see what I saw and to see what needed to be done without doing much examination at all. That is the eye of a true artist.
I will not say that the price did not scare me, it was very daunting and here I was having probably spent $300,000 over my lifetime trying to fix what I never should have touched and I was faced with a very large bill. Something inside me told me, just based on the way he knew, that this was my last best chance and I had to go for it, and I did.
I think three months later I was there and with a case so complex I could not get anyone to touch me, particularly the chin area, I was in a dressing gown and ready for surgery. It was early in the morning, I woke and did not really feel anything, and slowly was escorted to a waiting car where I went to Serenity aftercare facility in Santa Monica.
I knew as I was all swollen I had made a good choice. I could see even then my face looked more normal again for the first time in almost 20 years.
As I have now healed, being exactly a month post op (with much more swelling to still go down) I only have one slight issue I need to see him on but I look great. I could not have imagined a better result.
For anyone considering this kind of surgery, my honest advice is do not think of the price-money comes and goes, your face looking normal will help you live more normally and earn money. Yes I never had to suffer the way transsexuals often do as I was good enough to pass always even with the errors (so long as I had make up on) but your face is what people see first, it is the biggest cue to your gender. Do not think cheaper as sometimes the saying you get what you paid for is true, and worse yet sometimes you do not get what you paid for. With Dr. Lee you are in the best hands possible.