I will start off by saying that my absolute #1...
I will start off by saying that my absolute #1 insecurity has ALWAYS been my butt. I grew up a tall, lanky, skinny female twig. I was a bone - straight up and down, no hips, no boobs, and stick insect legs. I am half black, half white. Inevitably, I was an easy target in school. It started in 7th grade when I stood up to turn in a paper. I heard behind me, the 'popular' guy in my class say loudly "How can (me) be black and have no butt???" From that moment forward I remember being insanely self-conscious about my small butt, almost to the point where it was unhealthy. I started wearing baggier clothes, and refused to not wear a big sweater to cover my butt. I would have panic attacks when I knew I would have to walk in front of my classmates for a presentation, or to turn in a paper, or to throw something away. I started PAYING my friend in the class to turn in my papers for me. I changed the way I walked and took shorter steps because I really thought it would make my butt not seem as small. At home, I would walk backwards out of every room - I avoided walking in front of people (even family) at all costs. It turned into a mental thing... and really unhealthy (as you can CLEARLY tell).
I envied other girls with big butts, I was always beyond jealous. I would put towels in my underwear at home and slip on a pair of jeans to see what a big butt might be like. I even went out in public a couple times with the towels still in my underwear. Being insecure was an understatement for me at that time in my life. It didn't help that I looked in the mirror one day and saw that I had a significant amount of street marks on my butt cheeks - for some reason I didn't notice them before that day. I thought to myself, "Why the f*ck do I have severe stretch marks on my butt WHEN I HAVE NO BUTT?????" This only added to the level of insecurity I had about my butt. I refused to be in a bathing suit. To me, it was a horrible double whammy - small butt AND stretch marks. I vowed to hide it forever.
In college, I started working out and attempting to change my greatest insecurity. I even ordered the "Brazilian Butt Lift" DVD set with Leondro Carvalho. Working out never really did anything for me. I mean, it kept my butt tight and kept me healthy, but I never got anywhere close to having the butt I wanted. I'm also not the type to want to be in the gym twice a day, every day (which I figured would be the only way to get one of those huge muscly squat booties I see all over Instagram).
So, my next option was a Brazilian Butt Lift (Fat Transfer). Then I remembered, I have no fat (f*ck me right?). Next option was butt implants. I researched online and decided to go to Dr. Stanton in Beverly Hills, because apparently he is something of a God in the Butt Implant world.
To say I am excited about this procedure would be the understatement of the century. I will be getting butt implants and Lipo of my love handles. Dr. Stanton will not do butt implants combined with fat transfer, he said the risk of infection is significantly higher. He also chose 450 CC oval implants for me. He came out with a new oval implant this month that does not change the shape of your butt if it rotates. That will be the one I get. Dr. Stanton's assistant, Mindy, told me that I need to trust Dr. Stanton's choices for me, and I decided I would! (even if 450 CC's sounds like a lot).
I honestly cannot wait for this procedure! Being able to wear whatever I want and not stressing about wearing a camisole to cover my butt will be so amazing to me. I want to be able to actually fill out my jeans, and wear a tight dresses, and walk around confidently! I realize I spend so much time trying to pick out my outfits because I'm so limited in what I'm comfortable wearing. I can't wait for that to change!
More Before Pictures
To give you a better idea of what I'm working with.
I don't want to be seen without my implants!
Every time I go out, in the days leading up to my surgery, I really don't want to be seen! Whenever my friends or boyfriend want to go out on the weekends, I'm always like, can it wait until after my surgery? hahahaha because I know that once I'll have a booty, I'll be so much more confident!
Sometimes I think waitttttt, don't look at me now, you are not seeing me at my best! lol Even when I get dressed every morning, I'm even more disappointed than I was before I knew I was getting my surgery, because I just keep thinking of what could be!
I have the same going out outfit that I have been wearing every weekend, because it looks really great with a cardigan that covers my butt. But I've been wearing it practically EVERY weekend! I really can't wait until I can wear whatever I want and feel sexy! I could just throw on any pair of jeans and a tight shirt and be ready to go!
I will be posting several photos after my surgery, and I will show how my new booty looks in clothes as well! Can't wait.
Paid in FULL!
Today I spoke with Mindy at Dr. Stanton's office, and submitted my remaining $12,000 balance! It's a LOT of money for me, but truly and sincerely worth it. Paying for the surgery has brought me to another level of excitement (besides thinking about paying it off haha). I kept having second thoughts about how expensive Dr. Stanton is ($9,500 implants + $3,500 love handle lipo), and I kept thinking hmmm maybe I should have gone and seen other doctors to compare prices. Then I remembered, the right doctor is the MOST important thing when having plastic surgery. I would rather be safe than sorry, and I would rather get it right the first time. I don't know what I would do if I had to get the implants taken out... I def don't have the funds or mental strength to handle that (I don't think)
I'm just glad I'm another step closer to my surgery :)
Dr. Stanton Describes his new implant!!
Yay! I found a video recently uploaded by Dr. Stanton, with him describing the benefits of his brand new implant!:
My last questions answered!
I looked at my notes today and realized I am actually getting 475CC oval implants instead of 450CC oval implants. I must have remembered it wrong.
I also had a list of questions for Mindy, and she politely answered them all:
I will NOT have any tubes
They WILL provide a compression suit, and it is included in the price (cus I'm getting lipo too)
There is no need to buy ANY type of pillow to sit on (despite reading everywhere on this site that you need a boppy pillow)
You only have to take nail polish off of your pointer finger (I forgot to ask which hand though....fml) Toe nail polish is fine to keep on during surgery.
Pretty much only a week until i get my surgery and my life changes! I am so tempted to buy new clothes that will show off my booty, but I don't want to get myself too excited....in case it doesn't turn out right... My next update will probably be the day of surgery!
I get a booty in 11 hours!
Wow. Can't believe it's time already. I'm not really nervous or scared. I feel almost like my normal self, but I want it to be over already.
I went and bought all my meds a couple days ago. There are 5 prescriptions, and they all cost less than $25! Definitely thought they would be more expensive.
My next post will be post op! See you on the other side!
Butt implants done- broke out in hives
Dr Stanton did my butt implant operation 24 hours ago. I have a lipo garment around my waist still, so I can't really see what my butt looks like yet, but from what I CAN see, I'm very excited about. I still can't really stand over for longer than a minute because I get nauseous.
I also got up to pee last night And saw that I have broken out in hives over my entire body. Woke up this morning and they were gone, but it's still really scary.
Here is a pic of my butt while I'm laying down, and also a pic of my rash. I'll update with more photos tomorrow!
Post op description
Had surgery December 11th at 9am. It is now December 13th at 8:35 am. Last night was the worst. I had throbbing and burning at the incision sight. Everything was sore including my thighs. It was miserable. Then this morning I woke up fine and happy!
Can't WAIT to take a shower. My boyfriend said that the doctor told him I would be able to shower everything by 4pm tonight. Doctor also said I should put neosporin on the incision lines.
I wish I knew whether or not these were dissolvable stiches. Doc also said I should continue to wear my waist cincher. Its frustrating not being able to contact my doctor because it's the weekend But tomorrow is Monday so hopefully I will have some answers when they are back in the office.
I will take more pictures tonight after my shower without my garment on, but for now here is the best picture I can take while lying in bed
First shower and new pics
Tried to take a shower... Failed miserable and got nauseous instead. Was able to make this before and after
It's almost been 1 week post op. Let me tell you, recovery has not been easy. I just want every day to be over already!
It's really exciting though because every day that goes by, I'm able to do more and more things. I'm able to stand up easier, bend over easier, get in bed easier, and things like that. I LOVE the signs that I'm healing and going back to my normal self.
There is really intense soreness every morning. The discomfort has changed my mood, and I reAlized I was being snappy with my boyfriend. Not good! For the last couple of days I've had this horrible shooting pain in my right butt cheek that goes down my thigh. If I moved my leg a certain way, it would make me gasp in pain a little. My left butt cheek has been fine! No sharp shooting pains, just smooth sailing. I've resorted to taking hot showers when I'm REALLY feeling sore. They really help, along with the pain meds.
I've gotten used to sleeping on my belly, but GOD does it feel good to bend my legs!! If I stand and lean forward to put my hands on the floor, the stretch I feel is freakin amazing. I've been sitting backwards on the toilet, and that feels good too. I've been able to kinda squat and bend over and go on all fours just these last couple of days. It is pure happiness!
I'm still walking like a penguin. Can't walk fast at all. I've decided to tell people I threw out my back. In case anyone asks :)
My post op appointment is tomorrow! I'm hoping to get two thumbs up from the doctor.
Had post op Appointment
With Dr. Stanton today! It went very well and Mindy was hilarious as always.
It's been exactly a week since surgery. I seriously feel so much better. I'm still sore, but I'm sleeping much better cus I can put my legs up to the side and bend them!
The difference between my pain level now and my pain level 2 days ago is night and day. I'm happy! I feel normal! The implants feel like they are more a part of me now!
Anyway, dr Stanton said my butt looked great and was healing perfectly. No infections, nothing scary at all! Which was music to my ears. He also quickly cut out my lipo stitches today. There were only like 3 I think. He told me my right implant had already dropped a little bit! I asked if that was bad and he said no not at all. My left implant is still sitting high! He said it would take longer for them both to actually settle in their permanent place.
Now I have to tell you about Mindy (client coordinator). She was hilarious. She was giving me so many compliments and saying how in love with my booty she was! She was checking it out more than Stanton was! She's so nice and personable, I feel like I can talk to her about anything and everything!
I went home feeling very happy!!! I still haven't been able to try on a bunch of my clothes to see what they look like with my new booty. But I will do that and post new pics in the next couple of days!
Butt Implant Success!
Here is an entire recap of the details of my surgery:
I am 5'9, 140 pounds
I got 475CC butt implants w/ love handle lipo
Implants were placed under the muscle by Dr. Ryan Stanton
I got the new patented oval symmetrical implant designed by dr Stanton.
Worth it! I finally have a curvy woman's body! Something that I've wanted for most of my life. I've tried on all of my jeans that I haven't worn in years because I could never full them out, it was amazing looking in the mirror. I will have to get rid of some clothes though that are too small- some work skirts and jean shorts. I've noticed that I can't really wear tight jean shorts anymore because I have such skinny legs and small thighs that it just looks silly! I am making it a goal to hit the gym and bulk up my legs as much as possible, so that I can look proportionate. But that won't be for a couple weeks.
Dr Stanton says I can sit on my butt exactly two weeks after my surgery. So on Christmas Day, I'll be able to sit in my butt without any worry! I'll be honest though, I'm not sure how comfortable it'll be at first.... Right now when I lay on my back in bed, it feels like I'm laying on two textbooks. Doesn't feel comfortable at all! I'm hoping as time goes by that changes. I'm sure it will.
If anyone has any questions about the surgery, feel free to shoot me a message any time.
I'll continue to post updated pics as the year goes on :) Cheers!
1 Month Post Op
SO. it's been a whole month since my surgery. I LOVE my butt. I can literally wear what ever I want! I have so many more outfit options in my closet, it's so cool to me. A bunch of the swelling went down 3 weeks post op. And to me, it was significantly different, but in a good way. Your butt will definitely look smaller after swelling goes down and the implants will settle into a natural looking position! Both of these changes were great for me!
My first day back to work after surgery was December 29th. 2 weeks and 3 days post op. I work a desk job, and was really worried about sitting. I brought a blanket with me to sit on at work. It helped a tiny bit. Then I went back to work for another 5 days starting Jan. 4-8th. That week was sooo uncomfortable sitting in my office chair! I felt pressure on my whole behind and tailbone no matter how I sat. Like an uncomfortable soreness that grosses you out because you feel like you're stretching the pockets that your implants are in. I had to either stand up or walk around every 10-15 minutes in order to relieve the pressure. But I made it through the whole week, sitting on my butt!
This week, a little over a month post op, I can sit for hours without feeling pain and uncomfortable pressure! It is heaven. For you ladies who are afraid you will be able to feel the implants whenever you sit or lay down, that only lasts for the first 3 weeks! I remember in the beginning, when I would lay down on my back, it felt like I was laying with 2 textbooks under my butt. I am laying the same exact way right now and I can't feel the implants AT ALL. they're so comfortable!! I would say I am about 90% more agile again. I can move around just fine! I cannot believe how much my level of comfort with the implants has changed in the last couple weeks. The implants truly do become part of you, and feel like any other part of your body!
At work, I feel so confident, and I don't freak out when someone is walking behind me anymore! I actually welcome it!! Because let's be honest, I didn't go through all this trouble for nothing! I wanted a noticeably shapelier behind, and I'm so much happier that I have it now!
I used to have a square butt with big indents on the sides of my glutes (Dr. Stanton said it was just because I was lean). I HATED these indents with a passion. I no longer have indents on the sides of my butt, the implants fill them out and have made my butt look juicy and round from every angle.
I'll upload more photos this week, but I'm tired now and also not in the mood for a photo shoot ;)
More pics 1 month 5 days post op
So here are more pics. I think I look sooooo much better than I did before surgery. I don't look like a man from behind anymore!
So there IS one thing I wanted to write about. I'm very happy with the size of the implants and how they look in Underwear and dresses and spandex . BUT, something that I've noticed is that my butt doesn't look as big as I want it to in jeans. Which has caused me to say to myself "I should have gone bigger." But if I would have gone bigger, I know for sure my butt would look too big on my frame. Except it would have looked better in jeans. So I don't know. I just have to take the positive with the negative. Don't get me wrong though, I'm SO MUCH HAPPIER with how my new booty looks! I just wished it looked a little bit bigger in jeans. It's not something I'm going to dwell on, because that would be so stupid.
Overall I'm so happy with the results!
9 Weeks Post Op
17 Feb 2016
2 months post
It has been two months and one week since my surgery. Everything is going better than I could have ever dreamed, and I am still so glad that I got the surgery!! I am still shocked by how much more confident I feel in certain clothes. I have never been able to wear a pencil skirt with a shirt tucked in, and now it is my favorite thing to wear to work! Happy happy happy, that's all I can say! :)))