Excited/nervous/terrified but in a good way!

okay so i am 18 years old. 5'1 110- 115 pounds i hit puberty when i was 11 really and it just didnt stop. i jumped from 7th grade being 34b to 28F in really no time at all. i hate the unnecessary attention i receive i have horrible neck pain , back pain , shoulder pain and i get a rash in the middle of my breast . i am a small girl and i havent really had a luxurious life . i dont go out at all . i hate that i never can go swimming and when its hot out im still covered by a jacket and scarf . honestly i just want a chance to enjoy my life because at this rate i dont think ill ever be able to. also im in love with fashion and can never experience it.i hate how my waist can never be revealed . but when i really think about it ive never been the girl whos comfortable with curves like id rather be thin with no assets than to have a small waist and large breasts. its just so much easier to work out with i bet. im graduating high school this year and will not be going to prom because i cant go through the emotional distress of putting on a dress and risk feeling any worse about myself. my mom makes under $30,000 a year so insurance is my only hope i have Aetna and my consultation is April 18, 2013 so im going to endure that and keep my fingers crossed hopefully it works!!!!

Okay so after a long and emotionally painful process of trying private doctors to pay ourselves(me and my mom) nothing worked out :/ so we decided to go with insurance. I have kaiser so after months of sobbing and moping I decided to schedule an appt with my pcp. Explained to her what I was going through and she put in the referral right then and there :)! Then I was called within a week for the class where they explained risks etc. (things we were already aware of so it was cake except for this one lady asking about getting saline put in lol) so after the class she gave out papers to those who would need to lose weight/ blood pressure lowered/smokers that they needed to take care of those things first and luckily I was as healthy as a horse :) so we were told we'd get a call within to weeks for a consult. I got mine the same day but missed it :( two weeks went by and I called them and scheduled my consult with dr Touran I had it yesterday June 16 and he explained to me the risks and told me he was unsure of me doing it because I have my whole adult life ahead and scars are visible he then explained the people I've seen in the books with b cups I am as thin as them but the bottom of my breasts are wide instead of narrow not to mention he said he doesn't do the short scar technique :( and that no one does it in the facility which I thought was weird because during the class the instructor said "the vertical scar which is most commonly used here" but I don't know. I still really liked him because of his honesty and professionalism so I know I can trust him with being realistic about my results he then told me if I wanted I could schedule right then and there cause they're scheduling surgeries for August to early September so ican have it soon since I'm all ready health wise but he told me to get a second opinion from the younger female dr poh. I scheduled a second consult for the 6th of August with her but I'm really anxious. But I know I should wait because I might like her and I shouldn't go with the first one I meet especially since they don't keep result pictures which some what puts me on edge because I'm going in blind not knowing what to expect from any of them in the west la facility so if anyone here has a surgeon they'd recommend please do so ! I'm losing it here. Sorry this review is a bit everywhere I'm trying to make this as on track as I can. He told me to take some time to think it over but I'm sure I want it done. Only thing I'm hesitant with right now is how little I know on the surgeons and all the complications I've seen from those with the anchor incision healing process so if I am lucky dr poh will assure me and if I must get a bottom incision hopefully a T instead of a full anchor. But will see I'm pretty optimistic right now because I know now it's just a matter of time. I really was starting to give up I was miserable .but scars don't bother me I mean it's a toss up honestly like do I want to be miserable wit back neck pain and having break downs every summer or ...have scars (which I already have). Do I want to exercise without 3 bras and feel good about myself yes. Scars fade. That's all they are just like stretch marks. Sorry for the rant please help me if any of you can. Update ya soon :)

So yesterday I had my 4th and final consultation getting tired of taking my top off for strangers lol (kidding) but I have a female surgeon and she was very assuring she informed me that I would be a full B'ish and honestly it's scary and exciting to imagine myself being that small but she assured me I'd be fine with that size because of my thin frame but still I've never been that small before so I'm hoping I don't feel like an alien lol. But there was bad news to find out within my two weeks waiting for a consultation with her that they are pretty much full for august and September but I could get it for October to November. It didn't bother me much because a date is still a date! Something I started to doubt I'd ever get, but she wanted to have me in school ASAP so she put me under cancellation for August/September so fingers crossed someone changes their mind:)! But since I do know it'll be within the next 2 months I've bought vitamins and proteins to get my skin as healthy as possible for healing also if anyone has anything theyd recommend for my scar healing please let me know!