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I'm 61 and I've been yoyo-ing between size 12 and...
I'm 61 and I've been yoyo-ing between size 12 and 18 since I was a teenager. Up and down this same 65lbs about 10 times in all. Every day is a battle and although I've won many days, the only inevitable loss I have at the end, is in the battle.
I've hit 61 and I just can't battle again. I tried the lap band on one down-swing of my yoyo, but I missed eating normally, as in a variety of foods, and mostly, I was always hungry. I had the port removed 5 years ago as it felt uncomfortable on the waistband of everything I wore as I settled on small regular serves of those unhealthy high calorie foods that I could swallow and keep down without vomiting, and in my foolish then slim confidence, thought I'd finally made it. Once band-removed, I devoured all the foods I could not eat while restricted, and although many of them were healthy choices with my volume was unrestricted, and yes, I was still always hungry and I could eat my fill (and that's a lot of food), in a couple of years my 65lbs was back with a vengeance. I lived in misery with it for a year of so before I picked up the yoyo and played again.
I took a year off work using all my accumulated annual, sick and long service leave and went to the gym and pool everyday for a minimum of 2 hours and after 9 months, my enemy, those 65lbs was gone once again. I was 59 and felt fabulous but in true yoyo fashion, I returned to my full time work, and my enemy, those 65lbs were back, within 18 months, without the time to exercise like a woman possessed.
So, I've sat around for 18 months holding 65lbs, reading my scales almost daily, having good days bad days while playing my mini-yoyo game but overall, sitting on those 65lbs.
I've tried them all, weight loss clubs of notable fame, and some dubious tea, grapefruit tablets and prescribed drugs, crash diets and healthy ones, and of course every type of exercise and if wishes and hopes could only keep me slim,I would be as I certainly have had my fill of those.
So, a month or so ago I let the sleeve option enter my thoughts. I've read and read everything I could find, including on this site, and argued with me the rights and wrongs of this chance often and whether I deserve it for failing so often, and at my age, and because insurance does not cover it.
I had to wait a month and a half to meet with the sleeve surgeon and my reactive plan for an immediate surgery date, before I could back out, was suddenly gone. The previous surgeon, who took my band-port out, had chosen to leave the silicon band on my stomach as it was more 'bother' to remove it when it would not restrict me un inflated, and I knew no better. My sleeve surgeon insisted it had to be removed first and then a 2 month break before the sleeve surgery. I took it well I think, but of course, I'm disappointed.
So band removal is set for 22 August, just over 2 weeks away and the sleeve for October 24th, 2014. Now, I'm actually glad for the grounding time so when I do go ahead, it is with a considered time and with informed decision making, and not the rash, rushed choice the day I called to see the sleeve surgeon after the scales numbers refused to drop once again.
I'm scared, I'm nervous, I'm most importantly, I'm hopeful that at 61, I can finally cut my yoyo string forever and live a happy healthy life.
I've hit 61 and I just can't battle again. I tried the lap band on one down-swing of my yoyo, but I missed eating normally, as in a variety of foods, and mostly, I was always hungry. I had the port removed 5 years ago as it felt uncomfortable on the waistband of everything I wore as I settled on small regular serves of those unhealthy high calorie foods that I could swallow and keep down without vomiting, and in my foolish then slim confidence, thought I'd finally made it. Once band-removed, I devoured all the foods I could not eat while restricted, and although many of them were healthy choices with my volume was unrestricted, and yes, I was still always hungry and I could eat my fill (and that's a lot of food), in a couple of years my 65lbs was back with a vengeance. I lived in misery with it for a year of so before I picked up the yoyo and played again.
I took a year off work using all my accumulated annual, sick and long service leave and went to the gym and pool everyday for a minimum of 2 hours and after 9 months, my enemy, those 65lbs was gone once again. I was 59 and felt fabulous but in true yoyo fashion, I returned to my full time work, and my enemy, those 65lbs were back, within 18 months, without the time to exercise like a woman possessed.
So, I've sat around for 18 months holding 65lbs, reading my scales almost daily, having good days bad days while playing my mini-yoyo game but overall, sitting on those 65lbs.
I've tried them all, weight loss clubs of notable fame, and some dubious tea, grapefruit tablets and prescribed drugs, crash diets and healthy ones, and of course every type of exercise and if wishes and hopes could only keep me slim,I would be as I certainly have had my fill of those.
So, a month or so ago I let the sleeve option enter my thoughts. I've read and read everything I could find, including on this site, and argued with me the rights and wrongs of this chance often and whether I deserve it for failing so often, and at my age, and because insurance does not cover it.
I had to wait a month and a half to meet with the sleeve surgeon and my reactive plan for an immediate surgery date, before I could back out, was suddenly gone. The previous surgeon, who took my band-port out, had chosen to leave the silicon band on my stomach as it was more 'bother' to remove it when it would not restrict me un inflated, and I knew no better. My sleeve surgeon insisted it had to be removed first and then a 2 month break before the sleeve surgery. I took it well I think, but of course, I'm disappointed.
So band removal is set for 22 August, just over 2 weeks away and the sleeve for October 24th, 2014. Now, I'm actually glad for the grounding time so when I do go ahead, it is with a considered time and with informed decision making, and not the rash, rushed choice the day I called to see the sleeve surgeon after the scales numbers refused to drop once again.
I'm scared, I'm nervous, I'm most importantly, I'm hopeful that at 61, I can finally cut my yoyo string forever and live a happy healthy life.
Reality check tonight!
Went to my long term personal GP today who didn't know of my sleeve plans and arrangements, and when I said I was likely to do it, he said it was a good choice for me! I also mentioned I had thought about it (only) to a friend over lunch today, and she too said with a warm heart, it would be good for me. Not the responses I expected, and perhaps I am putting my own feelings of embarrassment into the equation rather than trusting those that care about me. Anyway, I said a couple of days ago I'd put a photo or two up and I've not done so. Avoidance? More shame? I did get brave and took a couple but I posed, well dressed and that hid a multitude of my weight sins. So I've stripped off to my minimum but decent and oh, what a reality check it is! Usually, I can squint, flash a glance in the mirror or not look at all, but tonight I looked and it just made me that more determined.
More reality checking
Each time I play my own mind games I look more closely at me and remember why I must do this!