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almost 3 weeks (5th July)

So I am 3 weeks post surgery tomorrow and I am driving myself ( and everyone around me no doubt) crazy. I had no idea this was going to be this bad despite how many reviews I have read. By the way, most reviews I have read so far have all been positive experiences with people loving their new look – I feel the complete opposite. I stare at myself so many times a day and keep taking photos from different angels to see if things have improved at all… they haven’t. I keep feeling it and can feel so many uneven sections and worry that I will already need a revision but don’t want to wait if I do need one. At the left side of my nose up the top I can feel something quite sharp – which I am guessing is a stich or something almost poking through. I have a hard lump in-between my eyebrows. I have an uneven lump on the bridge of the nose and I also have a little flat bit on the tip.
I am still very blocked up – some days are better than others but it is quite bad in the morning when I wake up and some nights I can hardly breathe at all by the time I go to bed. My smile is still not right and am trying to restrict how much I laugh because I am worried how silly I must look.
A few people I have spoken to said it is better than it was but probably not what they would have expected. I try and tell them then that its still swollen but I find it hard to believe that my nostrils will correct themselves and the small hump I have left over will vanish… I know in my heart that I will need further surgery. I can’t imagine that I still have so much swelling. I have worn sunglasses a few times briefly and when I take them off I am left with a deep indent in my nose but remember getting a bit of this before my surgery too so worry that its just the same. The surgeon did say he was surprised at how small my bones where when he did the surgery and had to make sure he didn’t make my nose too small so maybe he has thought it better to go slowly rather than alter too much and not be able to reverse the damage.
I wake up in the morning with the most unbelievable oily skin.. around my nose especially and on top but even my forehead and chin. I can’t believe the impact surgery can have on you. At least the smell has all but gone. I dream about noses and its all I can think about. I find myself staring at everyone else around me and on tv and in magazines and looking at how my nose compares.
I wonder what I was hoping to achieve by having this surgery.. did I really expect to suddenly love the way I look. I wish there was some way I could see the end result without actually going through it. Tomorrow will be my first day back at work and am so worried about what people will say. I work with a large group of people and worry that some will come straight out and ask me why I look different or others will just discuss it amongst themselves. I don’t know what is worse? Part of me too realises that overall, most people are so worried about themselves they don’t notice what is going on with other people.
I am praying that I can make peace with my new reflection and have faith this this will improve – in the mean time I will continue to obsess over what I have done and let it ruin the next few months of my life.

Just under two weeks

So I had the cast off on day 9 and splints out. The cast was actually a little bit painful but so relieved it was worth iy. The splints were obviously causing the major part of the blocked nose and no taste. When I first saw myself in the mirror it was so weird - the bridge looked smaller but the tip is still huge and it's upturned a bit so I think I look a bit piggy looking. I was surprised at the amount of bruising still under the cast on the right side of the bridge. I have a stubborn bruise under my right eye too. I can't smile well - my top lip is not working like it used to. I can't still see a small hump in my profile and can feel it. I don't know if this is swelling or if it will need fixing later. My skin is terrible - really really oily on the tip of my nose but also quite dry. I wake up in the morning and my whole face feels oily and horrible. I'm still snoring like a trucker and am still very congested. Awful smell in my nose persists - it's horrible!!!! I have such a good sense of smell so maybe it's just because I notice things like this. I'm really worried about the tip of my nose. I'm worried he hasn't refined it as much- I really can't remember if I told him how much I hated it. I had my first consult so long ago now I was probably focused on the bump more than anything. This has been a really difficult few weeks let me tell you and its so hard not to obsess like you keep getting told

Blocked Nose

So its Saturday and I had the surgery Monday.. slowly starting to feel a bit better but tire easily. I really have hardly done a thing since being home. Im not eating much as I cant taste a thing. I really want this to clear up soon . Its amazing how much you rely on food and drinks as enjoyment.. without taste life is really quite dull and you hardly eat. Key to weight loss maybe??? I still cant breathe at all through my nose but occasionally things clear slightly and I get the most revolting smell. I have looked it up on other people posts and it is a common feature. I am hard to sleep next to at night apparently, My poor finance says I make so much noise - all that mouth breathing. I am really sick of myself at the moment. I finally managed to get my contact lenses back in today so can at least see better now - but my eye are still a bit swollen and the cast is obstructing a portion of my vision.
For anyone else considering this surgery.. be prepared for how house bound you will be. I made a list of all these jobs I was going to do while I was home, thinking I would have energy but so far nothing has been achieved. You can't bend down as you get dizzy ... I squat instead. I thought I could at least go for gentle walks but really don't have the energy and no point in cooking anything as you can't taste it. I can't wait till Wednesday when I get this cast off. I don't even know if there is more packing to come out or if he did all the day after surgery. I wish I knew when my nose would clear a bit... its so uncomfortable. Oh well... must remember.. this is all my doing.

Provider Review

Physician
226 Melbourne Street , North Adelaide, SA