Scared, but So Ready... - Austin, TX

I'm into the last week before my explant and lift. I'm scared and so very excited. I've been so ill for the past three years that I'm sure my expectations are far greater than the probably outcome, but hope springs eternal! Three years ago I took a hard fall and ended up having knee surgery. At the time, I was in the best shape of my life, practicing yoga daily, and feeling on top of the world. Something changed that day and I think what happened is that I burst my right implant. I remember thinking that it may have shifted because it hurt a bit, but I was so focused on my knee that I didn't give it much thought. I have silicone implants that I had put in 11 years ago. They were replacing two year old saline implants that were damaged during a mammogram. I had the original implants just to fill out my breasts after losing 120 pounds. From the day I fell, my health started to fail. It started with generalized achiness, joint pain, and foggy thinking. Later, I started to lose feeling in my hands, especially at night, but now it happens a lot (my right forefinger is numb as I type this). I was diagnosed with Sjogren's and possibly Lupus last Christmas. There's so much more - the hair loss, the dry eyes and hands, and so on. It's been a real nightmare. If I didn't have a sedentary job, I wouldn't be able to work. So, I really have so much to hope for. I know for sure that having the weight off my chest (I'm a 38DD) is going to help my chronic back and neck pain. It's worth it for that alone. But I have so much hope for so much more. I want my life back. I want my yoga practice back. I want my body back. I regret ever having implants with all my heart and soul. I'd be better off with a pair of fruit roll-ups! So, I'm taking a deep breath and trying to keep my mind on other things until I step into the surgery center next Thursday. I've asked the surgeon to remove them en bloc and make sure every trace of silicone is out of my body, even if that means I have very tiny breasts. He comes very highly recommended and he and his office have been really wonderful so far. So, I'm trying hard to prep my body. Low sodium, high protein diet. I'm having a daily veggie juice from Whole Foods every day until the surgery. Lots of kale, beets, and carrots to up my Vitamin C levels. The one I like is called the "skin rejuvenator" and it makes me feel like I'm prepping my breast skin. Ha ha! Signing all the preop paperwork was daunting. It really scared me to know all the things that could go wrong. I don't have much of a life now, so I keep telling myself I just don't have much to lose. I've got a highly rated, board certified plastic surgeon. I just need this next week to pass quickly...

First day after surgery. I'm pretty sore, but everything went well. It turns out the surgeon who put the implants in put in 450's, not 350's like he told me and put in the surgical report! (Insert swearing here) I thought they looked too big after he put them in! I wanted to be a C and I ended up being a D. Then, they sagged and I ended up being a DD. I feel really angry. So, there is lot less tissue left and I have A's instead of B's, as I was expecting. I have drains and soft plastic rolls under my arms where he did some liposuction. The surgery was long - 5-1/2 hours - 2-1/2 hours longer than expected. The really great news is that neither implant was ruptured! I feel seriously grateful for that. I still need help to walk, but I have been up a few times. I'm just really tired. I think the healing process is going to take longer than I expected. All that being said, I'm happy. No regrets. It's easier to breathe. They're tiny, but who cares. They'll be great for yoga! Ok, getting tired. More later...

I'm feeling lots better. I finally had a shower yesterday and I feel almost human again. I've had some itching, but I'm already completely off pain pills and muscle relaxers. I'm not even taking Tylenol! The most exciting news is that the tingling and loss of feeling in my fingers is completely GONE! My neck pain is 100 times better. It only hurts now when I turn my head to the far right or left. I also have much more range of motion when I tilt my head to my shoulder on either side. I also have had NO back pain since the surgery!! I needed to be off the pain meds before I could be sure all this was for real, but I really think I'm this much better! It's already more than I had hoped for. The doctor did a beautiful job. Although they're small, they're very symmetrical and nicely shaped. I can't see the nipples yet as they're still taped up. I have my post-op appointment this Wednesday. I can't wait to be free of the drains. Five and a half weeks and I can go back to my yoga practice! Hurray!!!