Rhino

I'm a 29 year old female from New Zealand and I've just had my second rhinoplasty after having my initial one nearly 9 years ago which was initially done to fix a deviated septum and correct a few things such as shaving down the hump and slightly shortening the tip. I was happy with the outcome for many years and the changes were really subtle so as soon as the cast came off I knew it was a good natural result (if anything I thought the changes were too subtle) but none the less I was pleased to have the hump gone and breathe properly. However over the last few years my nose has started to bother me and the hump has become more visible again and tip was seeming quite long and narrow and really bothered me from certain angles. So about 6 months ago I decided I wanted to get it fixed or tweaked as my profile really began to bother me so I did my research and found a well recommended surgeon here in New Zealand. Although I did not think he was the most sweet or sympathetic surgeon he seemed to be very knowledgeable and one of the go to surgeons for rhino work here so I thought that was all that really mattered and I was hopefully in good hands. He decided to shave the hump slightly and put a graft at the end of my bridge as it had indented and was slightly uneven/more indented one side (not really noticable to anyone but a surgeon though) he also added grafts to my nostrils to open up the airways more as he said they looked slightly pinched or caved in possibly from the original surgery and finally he said he would refine the tip as I didn't want my nose shortened as I have a fear of looking like I have pig nose so it seemed like the perfect solution. From the second the cast came off a week ago I have been completely miserable, I knew the instant I saw it that it was completely wrong for my face and I feel like I have made the biggest mistake of my life. It is now 2 weeks post surgery and I am completely devastated. I feel like I have a completely different nose on my face and I'm suffering for severe, anxiety and depression every day. This nose feels like completely different and wrong on my face, I cannot stop crying and although I know surgeons will argue its still swollen but I can see the actual structure of the nose is not right for my face or bone structure at all. I have been through a nose surgery before and even when the cast came off despite being very swollen and having black eyes I knew the structure was right and still felt like me and my nose. This new nose is fine..is not exactly botched although I have a small lump I can feel on one side and the tip also bends very slightly to the left which it didn't before, but this nose is too different to my original one and just doesn't suit my face. I actually feel like a plastic looking weirdo and I'm too scared to go anywhere public or see anyone I know. I'm beside myself with regret and I just want my old nose back as it wasn't even that bad, in fact I look at my old pics now and think it was a nice nose and I can't believe the surgeon even agreed there was any need to change it. I was just being too hard on myself and now I feel ugly, I feel like I have lost my distinctive look and all my confidence. What can I do? I'm scared I will have to just be miserable for a year and then go through this whole process again to try and make myself look normal again and then run the risk of making it worse or live with this nose and be unhappy with the way it looks every day for the rest of my life :(