Impulsive Ink in So Much Regret - Asheville, NC

Thanks auroraasters. Its just rough, I lived my life for her for 13 years and now I just feel lost and don't know who I am anymore. She had been cheating on me for 3 months and her son told me. I hope I can get past this. I really don't even know why I got this thing on my arm..

Wow now my 5 years doesn't sound like a lot. That's rough. You weren't thinking when you got it, if you're like how I am, I'm doing a lot of things that are completely unlike me and made a lot of dumb choices in the grieving period. People say it gets better but I'm not gonna lie, right now it doesn't feel like it ever will and in cases like yours, the trust issues will probably be forever. Guess all I can say is focus on your daughter and work or whatever. I have school and work that I try to use to keep my mind off things. Doesn't help much but it's something.

Thanks, I'm exactly that way. I'm doing everything differently and don't know why. I've missed work and just constantly dwell on this and feel know one will ever want me. I know it sounds crazy but its real to me.

Thank you mpq, I know she's my world and her mother is just not really there for her. I just feel treatment is hopeless..

Take care of yourselves together then. Both of you. I can't stand to show mine, and it goes from shoulder to elbow (though not full as yours). I bought clothes that hide it all. I think of it in the morning, when I dress and choose clothes that cover it, and in the evening, when I removed clothes. The rest of the time, and don't think about it. It helps me seeing it as little as possible. Focus on your home life, work and activities. It will help you, until time works to finally give you perspective on all that has been happening to you. It's hard when you can't do anything but wait. Better make your mind busy with something positive. Maybe at first it won't work: you can fake it first, trying something positive you think might help you ,to occupy your mind. And at some point you might realize that you have truly not been thinking about your ink and problems. I wish you are able to overcome your depression. Take care.

Thank you so much for all the positive words and advice. I hope that we can all get through this.

We have no choice but going forward. :)

Yeah, I feel ya. I just sat there and let him put this on me without doing anything. Its almost like I felt a part of something. Like I was feeling a void that was left by my wife leaving. Who knows, my mind is just not there. I hope it gets better for the both of us.

I'm afraid of how my little girl sees me too. I too felt good those days over the lonely Hidatsa sitting there as he carved into my arm and put all those colors. The hell I'm in now makes that look like good times. Oh I just want to take it back. I can't though. It's not even a nice tight tatt. It's good artwork but do over the top and way too much and too low on my arm. Funny thing I remember him saying to me "a tat like this will change your life!" He was right :(

Lonely holidays*

Yeah it sucks. Somehow we just gotta keep keep going. We're no good to anyone depressed and dwelling on what we can't change now. I try to say screw it but I have so much anxiety issues.

I totally understand. You're not alone.

so everyone with visible tattoos are freaks? hmmm.. and you didn't go to a "reputable" artist your tattoos are poor, we are not freaks.!

Its just so much money and I have my doubt's. My daughter comes first and I'm having to pay for her braces which were 6000 dollars. Its just tough, I don't really know what to do.

It's definitely expensive, no doubt about that. Good on you for putting your daughter and her braces first though buddy. You've obviously got your priorities right. Tattoo regret can really mess with your head! You'll think of something I'm sure. I'm currently using a credit card for my treatments but I plan to take out an affordable loan afterwards to gradually pay it back. Not ideal but it makes me happy in the end.

I just don't know. With all these colors. I don't want to make a mess of it. I'm trying so hard to accept it and maybe in a few years technology will be that much better at least I hope.

If you don't know, that's okay. Waiting will not affect any future laser removal. If you're trying to accept it, give yourself some time. Yes, technology is always changing. I've spoken with people who started removing their tattoos 20 years ago and have scars. People who have done laser tattoo removal recently, report much better healing. You have a lot on your plate, and if you want to wait, then wait. Good luck, keep us posted, updates (even if just to say "I'm still waiting") are always welcomed. Support is key, and we're here for you. aloha...k

Yeah I definitely haven't found peace. I just feel ruined and I know that sounds crazy but its real to me. I just don't have a whole lot of confidence in removal from what I've seen. I don't want to end up with a mess bc all of my colors, especially all the green. Im just a mess right now. I know for a fact that I would've never done this if my life hadn't went thru a drastic change but I know I can't go back. What's done is done..

Well, no one can tell you for sure how it will go. I feel pretty confident with my removal as my tattoo is on wrist and it is only black, though it will take up to 2 years to remove it, but it is worth it! For now I would suggest just to take a deep breath and concentrate on positive things in your life. It is easier said than done, but I really hope that tattoo is the worst challenge you will have in your life, because then you think about it - it is not a big deal. It is a big deal to you, but I know it can be solved. I know how depressing it can be! Few weeks I was in total shock. I could never imagine I would ever feel this way! I couldn't sleep or eat or work! I was so broken. After getting a tattoo, I was so stressed that I even got sick and I realized that this is affecting my health now. So what did I do? I decided to search for places and went to see few doctors and tattoo artists to talk about removal and I fould a nice place with a nice doctor. I am very early on (3rd treatment next week), the process is super slow, but I am not letting this to affect me or my life. Lesson learnt for sure! All I can tell now - you will get used to it and things won't look so bad after few weeks! I also was so angry at people telling me this, but humans are really fantastic creatures, they are getting used to so many things! Your future life and mental health now depen on your choice. In few years, looking back, you do not want to remember yourself as a total failure. How we react on such things is making us who we are! Good luck to you and this all will be solved! One way or another! You will be happy again!

I hope so. Thank you

Basically, the entire tattoo is what bothers me. The life change that I am going thru has messed me up. Wife cheating and leaving.etc.. I haven't got a tattoo in 14 years and didn't plan on getting another one especially this large. I wasn't thinking clearly. I don't even like color..

Ok. Then please keep seeking professional mental advice, because there are a lot of things tied into this besides a tattoo. In the mean time, just remember that it could be removable at some point, but for right now it is a symbol of providing more for your child. So when you look at and wish it was gone think about how some day it might be, but for now it's a difficult badge of selflessness to wear to provide more your child. Sometimes when something becomes a sacrifice for us, it can fuel us in a very positive way. All the best and make sure to stay in contact with a counselor/professional.

I will. Its just really hard right now. I got this about 3 months ago and it just seems to be getting worse. Thank you..

aloha jfromPA: I couldn't say it better about professional mental advice. This forum is amazingly supportive, but it can never replace professional counseling. That is professional in person counseling. A counselor has the knowledge, the training to be able to help people through difficult times. More importantly, a professional counselor is there, in person. A counselor knows the ethical standards that help people, rather than hurt them. Online support groups are amazing, they can motivate us, but motivating is not counseling. Online support groups can be limiting, because as we each read my post, we read the post in our own voice. You do not hear my voice, and hearing a professional's voice is part of the therapeutic experience. As for removing the tattoo, to provide a better role model for children. There is one thing that as parents, we need to know, we need to remember. We make mistakes, we are human, we are not perfect. How we deal with mistakes, is how we teach our children. Good luck Brandon52, you seem to be an amazing person, devoted to your child, please don't let a mistake ruin your self-esteem. aloha...k

Thank you

Thanks mpq, I think it is me more than anything. I just can't get over the fact that I did this to myself and when I got it just kinda went with the flow. I wasn't even thinking , definitely a dark time for me.

I understand this. I felt like I was making a decision for myself and that I was thinking clearly, and still, my own tattoo is causing me problems as well, and I don't feel good with it on my skin at all. So even when we believe that we are thinking clearly, at times, we are truly more "going with the flow" and when we realize that we ought to have stopped, it's too late to go back. There will be a silver lining to this. Sometimes it's just long to wait for it. I hope you are able to work on yourself to feel better and find some peace. Hugs.

Thank you for all the positive remarks. That's all I want is peace.

Thanks GreatDane, definitely good advice. I'm trying to overcome it