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Was it worth it? 1yr and 4 months post OP
YES, I am happy with my results, I like how it looks, it makes me feel more confident especially in bikinis and underwear.
NO, my healing process was everything but smooth. I had allot of complications. It was painfull, stressfull and I was scared for a large part of the time and my surgeon didn't support me well.
YES, being where I am at now I think it was worth it because of the results... but...
NO, if I would go back in time, knowing what dreadful and unsure 2 months is to come, despite the fact that I am happy with the results, I do not think I would do it again. Those 2 months of insecurity and my mom who thinks that I have a weird obsession with how my sexual parts look (all because I wanted this surgery, have never talked about anything else to her but she is pretty old-fashioned) is not worth the small confidence boost I get on occasion of wearing a bikini or the first few times I had sex with my partner.
Also, even though I obviously have nothing against plastic surgery, I feel like this procedure was kind of a gateway to more procedures that I keep thinking about like breast augmentation and lip fillers.
I have very conflicted feelings about this because I just want to be natural and learn to love myself, but at the same time I want to strive for that perfect image. "Buying" yourself a nicer body just seems so amazing and feels a little bit addicting At the same time my boyfriend loves me and thinks I'm sexy the way I am, so I am only doing this for me; and I think that my looks shouldn't be something of such importance in my life.
How do you guys feel personally about changing something about your body instead of embracing what you were born with? Am I the only one with conflicting feelings?
Update! Almost 11 weeks
At this moment the only thing that is different from before the OP is that the area is still a little sensitive. But not much discomfort, no pain, I can sport and use tampons and wipe and do everything I could before.
Change is slow. As you can see the stitchmarks on my hood are still very visible (hoping they will flatten out more), the lump below the hood is still there and the 'gap' that was in my labia has not exactly heales shut, but its filled up with new tissue, causing it to be slightly longer than the other (see pictures).
Honestly I can not be bothered about the length difference since its tiny. And I think the hood will fix itself in time too. The only thing I can possibly imagine going back to the surgeon for is the little lump because it is now the only thing sticking out and its kind of sensitive when it rubs against my underwear all day.
But, I'm gonna take this veeeery slowly so I won't be going back for any revision till the end of the year at least. And maybe the lump will become less sensitive on its own and in that case I'll leave it be.
I'm looking back at my older pictures now, and damn, we have come a loooong and ugly way. But now I'm here. And I'm starting to like what I see a little bit more day by day.
4 weeks post OP
And this is a little personal, but it's something that also comes with dealing with all of this. I finally had some 'me-time', very very gently and minimal, but even that did leave the area feel unpleasant afterwards because you feel that blood rushes down there. So yeah.. but I don't regret it haha!
Provider Review
So this is a plastic surgeon from Boerhaave Medisch Centrum in Amsterdam. She started out extremely friendly and down to earth. She didn't really get into details about how I wanted my pooch to look like as I was pretty simple about it. I asked but she also didn't have any pictures to show me of her previous work. This all should have probably made me look for a different doctor but I had been dwelling so long that I just wanted to get it done. Come the procedure, her personality was alot cooler, it seemed as if this procedure was boring to her and she wanted to get it over with. On day 6 I called her about the amount of blood I was losing. She told me that she didn't encounter any large veins during the operation and ripping stitches was almost impossible. She told me to stop icing it and just apply pressure. She didn't sound concerned, but she had me come over the next day. So day 7 I met up with a different lady (which I thought was weird) who removed a big black bloodclot for me and said I wasn't healing as fast, was really swollen and that yes, some stitches ripped. Day 12 I met with Dr. Smith again and when she saw the opened labia she blamed ME for putting on vaseline/betadine for too long, and she said because I have dissolvable stitches I was supposed to keep it dry after the 3rd day which she never mentioned to me before and isn't in any of the documents that she gave me about prep and after-care (I double checked). Also, looking at the picture when they ripped at day 11 you can obviously see it wasn't the stitch that dissolved, it was my skin that had ripped. Maybe because I'd swollen so much, maybe because she stitched me too tight, I don't know, but this checkup I just lost my trust in this doctor and did not feel welcome at all anymore. I felt like a failed patient who apparently wasn't important enough to contact (she never did, I was always the one reaching out), not even for a 3-month chekup or an afterpicture. Basically I never heard anything from Boerhaave and Dr. Smith again after this last appointment. I justed checked the website and it seems like she no longer works there.