40 and Ready to Explant. - Omaha, NE

I got implants 8 years ago at 32. I have always been very flat chested and made fun of my whole life not just for being skinny but for not having boobs. Always being compared to other girls. Which led up to me searching the Internet for 6 years for breast implants. I wish in my searches I had come across sites like this, if I had I never would have had implants. Thinking back I can't believe I put myself through an unnecessary surgery with a young child. Now with another young child I'm thinking of doing it again but this time to remove them and move on. I have not been a functioning person since deciding this is what I'm doing. I realized I wasn't going to replace them later and I would rather do it now while my skin is still able to bounce back better. However I haven't been able to eat or sleep right for a month and my PS was unavailable but the nurses did their best to answer questions and curb my anxiety. I have never in my life had an anxiety attack for a month like this in my life. I am terrified about the outcome. My PS is Dr. Montag and she did a great job on my implants. I have never had a problem with them. I go to see her tonight to talk about removal. Nervous as to what she will say. I already booked a date for surgery next Monday but its dependent on what she says tonight thats how determined I am to do this, I just want it over with and it can't happen soon enough. My husband is supportive and keeps telling me it will all be ok and he loves me no matter what. I can't help but fear the outcome. I don't know my measurements from before, I just always assumed I was a 32-34a after breast feeding smaller. I can't find my implant paper work but after I was a 34 B maybe c. Mentor saline round smooth under the muscle. Looking at others on here and reading stories has helped. I can only hope to end up like some of the ladies on here. I won't mind being small again just afraid of looking deformed I guess.

Went to consultation. My PS already knew what I was coming in for. I think her nurses told her how much I was freaking out, calling everyday and having bad anxiety. She didnt try to talk me out of it. She just explained the procedure. I asked her opinion on what I may look like after. Given I haven't had problems and no other surgeries and given i don't appear to have a thick capsule she expects me to go back to my pre augmentation shape just a little saggier. Which having had them in for 8 years and breast fed one baby with them I expect that. So surgery is the 22nd. I will see how comfortable I am posting pics for others.

I plan on as soon as I can after this to finish working with my personal trainer to not only improve myself physically but to keep my mind off of my breasts while they are reshaping these next few months.

Also to redo my wardrobe to get clothes that are flattering to small boobs. I plan on embracing myself more and just being happy no matter what.

1. I don't want future surgeries. (Wish I would have thought that one out better.) At 32 I thought I was invincible and that these were a must to be accepted.
2. Health. I haven't had problems from them that I know of but want to avoid future problems.
3. I notice them all the time. It's like carrying to bags of water around. Doesn't feel right or natural.
4. This should have been number one cause its actually was my first thought when considering removal was if there is ever a zombie apocalypse. I don't think there will be very many PS around working if that happens.