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To love or not to love...

Tomorrow will be 4 weeks PO... time flies hey! I haven't been posting much as I've been trying to avoid the 'comparison effect' and I have found my pics have made me worried, as I explain below.

It's continued to be a bit of a rollercoaster between loving and not so much loving the Divas. I haven't quite found my groove with how to dress them yet, and it's stumped me a bit. I find they disappear under clothes (unless I wear tight, which I rarely do), but I love the size naked. I got fitted for a 10 DD bra (no underwire), but they do not seem like a 10 DD (or my perception of that at least).

They're still really round and high, and it's put me off getting them out a little, and worries me that they just look really fake. I know I need to be patient and give them time to drop and soften, but I keep looking at other girls transformation by the 4 week mark and I'm beginning to worry that this is what they're going to look like. One boob is either dropping faster, or there is a bit of a misshape going on- could be the hard tissue I refer to in a previous post.

My natural breast shape is quite wide, so I've got epic side boob, which is awesome! The cleavage has gotten better, but this is when pushed up a bit... otherwise it's rather sparse!

My girlfriend owns an online swimmer boutique (www.mazarineaqua.com) and she sent me a few bathers to try on. See pics. I loooooove the bathers, but I'm still really nervous about getting the Divas out!!! Which is really annoying considering I've wanted them forever and thought I'd be instantly rocking them out and proud.

It's funny though, in pics they look so much rounder than what I see when I look in the mirror... so I get put off when I take pics! Why is this- has anyone else found this happens???

On another note... the other half totally loves them. Haha.

Pics are day 27- so almost 4 weeks. Please excuse the PMS bloat!!!

First 10 days done and feeling better!

Week one with the Divas has been a roller coaster!!!

After the high of the surgery and my surprise at its ease, the following days were filled with uncomfortable times and emotional irritation! The first 3-4 days I was really emotional and extremely irritated by everything (related to my boobs and everything in general- thank god I have a supportive partner). I would have sharp pangs of strong pain and I was just uncomfortable from not being able to move properly. I was sleeping long hours, but I'd wake with pain in my boobs, back and bum (for sitting).

The main pain was from the incisions sites. The dressing felt itchy (the nurse mentioned this might happen, but not to remove it otherwise could cause infection) and every time I moved and any weight went on the incisions, it felt like I was being stabbed. This didn't stop till about day 7-8.

I had my check up on day 7. The PS was happy with the progress and removed the stitch. He said I can wear different bras, as long as they're soft, don't rub the incisions and no underwire. He also suggested I use bio oil on the skin around my boobs because I was quite swollen. Once the steristrips fall off on their own, I can also use scar cream. My next check up is at 4 weeks.

I haven't taken many pics because I've kinda been overwhelmed by how they look. They're only just starting to look boobs at day 10. Prior to this they've looked misshapen, high, and really far apart. I knew to expect this, so I just haven't wanted to fuss and take pics, or I knew I'd just worry about them!

Today I went for a walk and did some minor housework- no heavy lifting or pushing etc. purely light stuff. And I've noticed swelling in my left boob. I had to ice it. I'm really worried about capsular contracture because I had that lump in the tissue- I can feel it and see it. So need to take it easy... hard to do when I haven't done any Christmas shopping. Haha.

Funny thing I've noticed is I've felt really obnoxious putting tight tops on and putting them our there! How ironic. I need to get used to them, but they're in proportion with my body I think. I've put on a big of weight and don't feel myself from being so inactive either!!!

Am I happy...? I'm becoming more happy each day. I have been a bit worried and not loving them up until now if I'm honest. The gap has worried me, but it's gotten a bit better as the swelling goes down. I still feel like they will turn out ok... I hope they do!!! I'm excited for them to soften so I can get some cleavage. All in good time I guess.

I love the size- sooooo glad I went up to the 370cc.

When did people start to massage them??? I forgot to ask the PS.

Day of surgery diary... I have boobs :-)

Well, that was easy. lol.

But in all seriousness, I'm so surprised how quick and easy it was. Arrived at 7:30 am, straight in for questions and obs with the nurse. Then a chat with the anaesthetist (AN) and the PS. Then off to have pics and the PS did his markups (maps he called it). Then into the theatre. Everyone was SO lovely, they explained everything they were doing and I felt I was in great hands!!! The nurse was really nice- kept me chatting and was funny- really eased my nerves! The service was amazing!

As it was my first ever surgery, it is an understatement to say that I was packin' ma pants with nerves!!! I asked how long it'd take to fall asleep, and the AN said 'you won't even notice'... he was right. As soon as he'd put the 'take the edge off' drug in, I remember feeling like I was as happy as a wineo at a lounge bar, and then next thing I know, I was in a wheelchair asking the nurse if I said anything stupid! Haha. Apparently I didn't... except for that. Ha.

I was told I was textbook case, I woke up straight away, no issues with the procedure, no sickness from drugs- kept water down straight away. In theatre at 8:15am and left for home at 11:45am. Was meant to be released at 1:30pm, but I was so fine I could leave early! So I'm home. Just need to take it easy. Cannot believe it! No 'pain' just a LOT of pressure and a light 'throbbing' like feeling- as if a cubby kid is sitting on my chest. Haha. But I think the anaesthetic has just worn off cause my skin was twitching like mad (over whole body) and I can only 'lucid' nap with weird thoughts!. lol. I haven't been able to sleep properly during the day- so I'm tired. Hopefully this will help me sleep tonight.

I'm having 2 x paracetamol with codeine every 4 hours and I'm fine on this (haven't needed the endone). Just having trouble getting up and down without using my arms to push. Clearly I don't do enough squats. lol. Otherwise, I'm just totally milking the slave/nurse factor with my partner as much as possible... according to him I need someone to put my socks on and feed me. Hahaha.

Oh and having your period is totally fine with surgery. Turn away now if you don't like TMI- had a tampon in with undies on and no dramas. It's been difficult to change tampons today- I think I've taken the angles and pressure this requires for granted before. Haha. But so far, all ok. My period bloat is the worst though (see pics)! Ha. No cramps though... thank you good drugs. Lol.

But... It's all done. [RS bleep] IS real. lol. And I'm feeling great. Looking forward to them not looking like my boobs have been stung by bees and seeing how the results turn out!

So I have... 370cc, full profile, round, smooth, beast fold incision.

One thing I will say- they look bigger in real life. It's really hard to get a pic that looks realistic. But they don't look as big as I had imagined based on the sizers at the PS or the rice sizers. Considering they're swollen now, I'll be surprised if they end up as big as I thought the sizers were. So I'm definitely feeling happy that I increased my size (was 335cc, went to 370cc)!!! So at this stage, the verdict is go bigger if you're in doubt. I hope they go a bit closer together, but my natural shape was kinda wide, so they might not. Time will tell.

Sorry for the superhero 'period' undies and my blue socks! The blue socks are actually a joke between my partner and I... if anyone knows of the sea birds named the 'blue footed boobies', you'll get it. Hehe.

Much love and thanks for reading this thesis. Haha xx

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