Will I Ever Have to Tell my Partner I Had a Breast Augmentation?

Question

I am 5 foot 7 and I was a small C before my augmentation and had 125cc silicone low profiles put in. Now I am a small D but they feel SO natural. You cannot even feel the implant at all. Even I can't. I never told my partner that I had the surgery and he never asked. I am only 18 and I plan on having surgery again when I am older to get larger and telling my husband that I am getting implants put in for the first time. Will this plan work? I feel like 125 ccs is not enough to tell.

Richard H. Tholen, MD, FACS · Answer

The real answer is "It depends on how hard they look for scars, or how observant they are in the course of the loving admiration in any close personal relationship."

	Since you DO have scars, however good and concealed they may be, they are bilateral and symmetrical, and it is possible a partner who is either looking (for whatever reason we'll leave up to your imagination), or a partner who is somewhat observant, to discover your breast augmentation scars. An innocent question may be considered "prying" by a somewhat defensive you (who decides not to tell in hopes he never notices or asks), or sadly less than 100% sharing and trusting by a somewhat disappointed partner (who probably cares not one iota since your breasts look and feel great and are only a part of the "you" he fell in love with).

	So do you feel like sharing? This is a personal issue, but failure to disclose often becomes an "issue" not because of WHAT is or is not disclosed, but the DECISION to not share fully. Think about it.

	I can tell you that virtually every partner of my patients would consider this "non-news" and would appreciate the confidence you place in sharing. And your plan to revise and act as if this is the initial surgery is NOT a good idea IMHO. Best wishes!

Howard Webster, MBBS (Hons), FRACS · Answer

Your question is interesting because it's more about relationship psychology than medicine.  From a medical point of view, most implanted breasts would be detectable by a partner - so you'd have no choice as they'd be able to tell.

	In the event of small, soft implants, where they are undetectable, you're in the position of being able to decide whether you tell or not.  And that's a personal decision, able to be made only by you.  It's your business.  I see similar decisions being made by patients who have had lipo or rhinoplasty.  Should these be disclosed to a new partner?  The answer is:  it's completely up to you.

	What does concern me is the potential for deception.  That's not good for any relationship.  Do you, for example, have a plan for what you'll say if your partner asks you whether you have had implants?  Will you say - yes, but I didn't think I needed to mention it, or will you lie?

	And, this is for you to decide, but when the time comes to have your implants changed, will you say:  I'm getting implants.... or will you say:  You don't know this, but I had implants years ago, and I want to change them for larger implants.

	So my overall advice is:  You can disclose whatever you want to a partner.  But beware of lying.  Trust lost is rarely regained!

	Good luck.

Tom J. Pousti, MD · Answer

This is a private and personal decision. It is difficult to advise this matter. Your decision to share your experience with your significant other may change over time. Good luck.

	On this site, I do my best to give advice without a physical examination but I want you to know that a physical examination by a board certified physician is always the best way to get the most accurate information.

Scott E. Newman, MD, FACS · Answer

Honesty in a relationship is always a good thing...but Psychology isn't my specialty!

Steven Wallach, MD · Answer

The choice to tell your partner is your own. But I always say that honesty is the best policy!  Good luck.

Will I Ever Have to Tell my Partner I Had a Breast Augmentation?

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Will I Ever Have to Tell my Partner I Had a Breast Augmentation?

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Answer: Tell your partner?

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