How do I tell my family about my decision to get a mommy makeover? (photos)

Some have openly told me they do not support breast implants. I wished I hadn't gained (and lost) 65 pounds for each of my 3 pregnancies (doing this 3 times in just 4 years) but I did. It has been a difficult emotional & physical transition for me to go from loving my body before having kids to hating it since having kids. I have told a few close family members about my tummy tuck next week so that they can help after, but both have said that they would not be in support of my having a "boob job." The problem is, I am having that too. How do I tell them?

Doctor Answers 5

Telling the family

I appreciate that you are in a difficult position, but the fact is that this is your body and your decision.  You are having this done to feel better about yourself, not to please others.  We all deserve to feel good about ourselves.  There is no shame in that.  Know that you are not obligated to tell them anything about your surgery.  If you do choose to tell them, let them know that this is something that you are doing for yourself- as some women get massages, pedicure or dye their hair.  It is not right for them to judge.  Also know that some are against breast augmentation because they are not educated about it and feel it is dangerous.  If that is the reason in this case, encourage them to learn more about it.

Houston Plastic Surgeon
5.0 out of 5 stars 28 reviews

It is your decision

it is your body and your life.they don't have to approve or even know what you are is important that you be firm because if they know you have made up your mind, they will be less of a problem than if they think you are not sure, in which case, they will try and change your mind.sometimes family members and friends are just jealous so they are not really offering great advice.even if they mean well, it is your life and your body.
you should get a huge improvement from your surgeries and this should mean a great sense of self confidence etc. you may want to talk with a therapist to help you deal with this difficult issue.however, be wary of letting them talk you out of anything since that may cause you to resent them and feel hard on yourself for giving it.
good luckdavid berman md

David E. Berman, MD
Sterling Plastic Surgeon
4.9 out of 5 stars 76 reviews

Mommy make-over - how to tell my family

Thank you for asking about your mommy make-over.
  • Your family - much as you may love them - have no right and no need to know what you do to your body.
  • They have no right to say what is right or wrong for you to do. 
  • Your family sounds judgmental - so...
  • How to deal with this? Do not reveal what surgery you have done. 
  • Tell them you are having necessary surgery to repair the body damage of pregnancy which was severe, affected your entire body and the details are private.
  • If they comment on your breasts - tell them you are very swollen from surgery.
  • If you have pain, tell them the tummy tuck routinely causes chest and abdomen pain.
  • If you have implants, just leave the bra on - there is no need for dressing changes.
  • Wear loose pyjamas and a bathrobe when they are around.
  • Be sure your surgeon and your surgeon's office know to reveal NO surgical details to your family.
  • Always see a Board Certified Plastic Surgeon. Best wishes  - Elizabeth Morgan MD PHD FACS

Emotional Difficulties with Plastic Surgery

Hello and thank you for your question. I definitely understand the difficulty in exposing issues like this to families members when it may be something they do not agree with. Pregnancy and childbirth along with aging result in weight fluctuations that can have a substantial impact on a woman’s body, and if others have not experienced those same situations then they will not necessarily understand what you are going through. It may cause loss of volume in areas such as breasts and buttocks and even affect the fat distribution in the face.The mommy makeover is a combination of procedures to bring a woman’s body back to the way she looked prior to pregnancy. Most commonly some variation of a #TummyTuck and #BeastSurgery are performed. Additional procedures can include liposuction, umbilical hernia repair.  The most common #breastprocedures include #mastopexy or #breastlift, #breastaugmentation, #breastreduction. In regards to exposing the issue of breast augmentation to family members there could likely be information directly from your surgery about the set of procedures that you are having together that may help your family understand why you are having this completed for the health of your body in addition to appearance. Please feel free to see my office's website below as well. Best of luck to you.

Jed H. Horowitz, MD, FACS
Orange County Plastic Surgeon
5.0 out of 5 stars 94 reviews

Family support and cosmetic surgery

my advice is to be open and upfront beforehand. Gently remind all of your concerned family members that it is your body and your decision. This is a true story. Several years ago I had a patient who was scheduled to have breast reduction surgery and an abdominoplasty. Her husband did not wish her to have either procedure and she told her husband that she was going in for breast reconstruction for breast cancer. Needless to say the patient's husband found out the truth after her surgery and six months later they were divorced.

Jack Peterson, MD
Topeka Plastic Surgeon
4.4 out of 5 stars 34 reviews

These answers are for educational purposes and should not be relied upon as a substitute for medical advice you may receive from your physician. If you have a medical emergency, please call 911. These answers do not constitute or initiate a patient/doctor relationship.