Unhappy with wife's surgery results....what to do?
- East Texas, PA
- 2 years ago
My wife had a breast lift, augmentation (saline under the muscle), and tummy tuck in mid November 2014. I was very much into the idea of it as I knew she was unhappy with her body, and doing planning and research is a nerdy hobby of mine. But as time drew near for the surgery I was less into and did not really want her to do it, but I did not want her to change her mind for me. She was not/did not do it for me anyway; although I don't understand the comment "I am not doing it for other people I am doing it so I feel good about myself". I think it is code for I care more about how strangers perceive me than loved ones and I want strangers to look at me like I am attractive. For any reason the surgery went off without a hitch and I am doing everything I can to support her healing process. My problem is not that I worry how she is going to dress or act, but rather that I don't find the results attractive.She did not go to big with her implants and fits into the same size bra she was in before losing weight....that is awesome. But her breasts are a weird shape, one is a different size and shape than the other, they are still sitting high, they have developed stretch marks, and she has full anchor lift scars. Also, her breasts feel horrible and move like crap. Her tummy tuck is kind of the same, her stomach is flat....again awesome. But the fake belly button looks weird, part of her old belly button remains above the scar, the scar is huge and gross looking, the area between her scar a vagina sticks out like a cod piece, and the dr. lifted her vigina where it looks weird now.In clothes, again for other people to see, she looks great. However, naked I am not attracted to her. I don't like hugging her because her hard breasts push into me and its uncomfortable. She is happy with the results, but I am not sure people are honest with themselves after going through surgery and spending nearly 20k. She knows I am not happy, but has again stated this was not done with me in mind. I can't talk to her about it because it leads to a fight. I tell her what she wants to hear, but I am upset all the time and lash out at her and even the kids at the smallest things. What do I do? Give my opinion when asked, tell her what she wants to hear, pretend I don 't notice her surgery or that it never happened? How do I get over the anger, how do I become attracted to what she looks like now (bags of saline and scars)?