I am 1 1/2 week post BA and am comp!etely freaking out. I found this forum and am so thankful and finally decided to post.I feel as if I could write multiple pages about this but will try not to. I am 47, 5'8 always averaged around 135 pounds (less in 20s early 30s) and was about 34 B.I was always very self-conscious about size. Too small. That changed after significant weight gain, around 60 pounds, and of course boobs got bigger... full C. Wasn't happy with those because they were "fat" boobs. Eventually lost that weight but for some reason kept boobs! Loved that. I loved that I finally had boobs, full C boobs!! They of course fluctuated around menstrual time, got a little Fuller, and I liked that. Lost a little more weight and was small C.After few years of yo-yo full/small C, I knew without a doubt I wanted implants. Wanted D cups. Have a few friends that have done it and very happy. Oh, should interject here that I looked at anyone with larger breasts to try and determine fake or real. Also should say HATE the obvious large fake boobs.That's what I ended up with. PS said I was borderline lift too in his opinion. Went back and forth about BA only or BA with lift. Also went back and forth deciding on implant size. PS explained why he felt larger implant was better if I didn't do lift, 520cc silicone under muscle, to help fill out. Went with that because thought of nipples being removed freaked me out.The implants turned out perfectly, if I wanted the fake look.I am obsessing over this. Try and hide them as much as possible and have avoided friends and family because I feel embarrassed and ashamed.Seriously thinking of taking them out. What a waste!Just sick of the pain, how heavy they are blah, blah, blah. Oh, forgot to say boyfriend loves them. I hate that he does. I know post is long so will stop here otherwise I'll go on forever. Just wondering of anyone feels same and what they did about it. Do I remove or be patient as I know this isn't FINAL size? HELP!