Day four questions - feeling down and unsure
- 9 months ago
Hi all. Wow, am I glad I found this forum. So my husband, two children and I live in Thailand (have done for 2 years) and I have wanted a TT since my second child 9 years ago. Basically, I put on a tonne of weight, had two big babies, and then lost a tonne of weight and looked and felt fantastic, aside from the horrific pooch at the bottom of my belly (think deflated football with dimples. Gross). Not only is Thailand very affordable for cosmetic surgery (and well renowned) but I am in a position where I don't have to work (an expat wife) and we have a helper three times a week for 6 hours a day. I flip flopped on this for a long time. My husband thinks I'm crazy and begged me not to tell anyone (and if he's honest probably thinks me vain and selfish). Most of my friends think I'm mad. But this was about me. This wasn't about what I looked like with clothes on. This was about finally standing in front of the mirror and liking what I saw. About me finally not having to wear a singlet under t shirts and shorts just incase I leaned up too high and my revolting pooch spewed from atop my pants. Being able to wear nice lingerie...So, I finally decided to go for it. I did as much research as I could beforehand and went to hospital on Friday 29th April. My husband came in for admission but left after that. I went into surgery alone. Coming out from anesthetic was horrible. I was literally fighting to get off the bed. Totally disoriented and fuzzy and in absolute screaming pain. Vivid memories of being slumped from the surgery bed to the hospital bed. This was where it became obvious I was not in my home country. I speak fairly good conversational Thai, but couldn't seem to articulate how scared / nauseous / in pain I felt. Anyway, I put my big girl pants on and decided to get on with it. After a horrific nights sleep (about two hours in total in 15 minute windows) I awoke in agony. I was on a pain pump and have a pretty high pain threshold but this was something else. They finally gave me some more medication (who knows what? It was an injection) and I started to feel lightheaded and REALLY nauseous. Except I couldn't be sick because my stomach hurt so bad. For about five minutes I was in a hellish twilight period of wanting to vomit, but being too scared to gag, and just trying to hold it back. Incidentally the nurse came round at this time, took my blood pressure and hurriedly checked my drain bottle. Blood pressure was 80/50 (yes, you read right) and I'd bled a LOT (I was too out of it to notice the amount but the grenade looking vessel was almost full and the two tubes coming out were solid and dark red). The surgeon finally comes round the check, pulls my eyelids out and decides I need a blood transfusion and that they need to open me up again to see what's going on. Despite there being some English speaking nurses, I still couldn't understand what exactly the problem was and had a consent from thrust infront of me to sign re transfusion and surgery. Once more, I was alone. (My husband was at home with the kids, they think I was getting a routine appendix out. I didn't want to worry them or him). So, after kind of having my concerns placated that I was getting 'clean' blood (who knows, I could be riddled with God knows what right now...) I was told nil by mouth till surgery some time 'later that evening'. So, 7 hours later I'm wheeled off to surgery and I was in so much pain even crossing the threshold of the elevator made me grimace with agony. I have never ever ever been so scared in my life. Nor so regretful. What the hell had I done? If I could have reversed everything right then I would have done. And I waited....Woke up literally thinking I was choking to death as the tube was still in my throat. Each time I tried to cough or gasp my tummy shrieked and screamed in pain. More of the same. I came out of surgery about midnight and went to bed sobbing (with as minimal movement as I could).Finally my blood pressure stabilised and on day three they removed the drains and told me I could go home. It is now day four and I'm home. I'm not taking any pain medication (go me!) and am walking (quite bent though) but still find myself totally confused and unsure about the best way to help myself heal not only physically, but psychologically. I apologise for this lengthy monologue but in hindsight this is cathartic and therapeutic. I haven't told many people about my surgery so sharing it kind of helps. I don't want to share too much with my husband in case he gets the 'I told you so' look...Anywho, here's my questions:1) Ridiculously swollen upper thighs - when will this start to go? My surgeon poked them a few times before releasing me and said it was normal and should go down 'soon'. Pre surgery I had a thigh gap but these guys are now SLAMMED together. They are hard but not painful. Is this normal? My pubic area and labia was also very swollen post surgery but that seems to have gone down a bit (not entirely of course. To be honest I think everything is swollen really). Is this normal? When can I expect the swelling to start to go? I feel like a beached whale. 2) Higher blood pressure. My blood pressure is usually 120/80 or thereabouts but before I was released from hospital it was creeping around the 145/90 point. My surgeon didn't seem to think this was an issue but didn't offer me any explanation as to why this was high. To be fair I was probably too dazed to thoroughly question him and would have gotten a broken English answer anyway. I have a BP machine at home and it is still high - indeed just now was 150/95. I have a post op consult with my surgeon on Friday (6/6). Should I wait till then or is that on the too high side? Are there any other signs I should watch out for? 3) Walking. I can't stand sitting still for too long but don't want to walk too much that I prolong healing. Again, I was given hazy advice on this, being told to walk 'a bit but not too much'. Well what is that exactly? I am trying to walk for a few minutes every hour or so and am not feeling any pain in my wound. I can't stand straight but after walking for around 10 minutes seem to be able to stretch almost fully upright. To my mind this must be a good thing and any time off the couch or bed makes me feel better - any warning signs I should look out for or rough guidelines?4) Lack of appetite. I am eating hardly anything. I haven't done a number two since Friday (they did give me an enema pre surgery) but although I'm aware the pain meds can cause constipation I'm concerned my low intake isn't helping. I'm trying my best to eat at breakfast, lunch and dinner but get full very quickly. I'm eating basic foods like porridge, bread, and soups to make sure i don't bloat any further. Anyone else experienced this? 5) Overall malaise. Basically, I'm feeling overall like a bit of a selfish idiot for doing this. I've put my life in danger. I've lied to my children. I am much larger than I was pre surgery. I used to run every day but can't do that anymore so I feel unhealthy. And all I have to show for it is a picture of two rather revolting triangles of skin and fat. Why did I do this again?