advice needed for new regretter
- Saint Louis, MO
- 6 months ago
Hello everyone. I just got a new tattoo a week ago and all I have been able to think about is how much I hate it! I have many other tattoos and I love them all of them immensely, so it didn't seem a big deal. Among these I have three flash tattoos, one of which doesn't have any real "meaning," and I love them and think they are unique and befitting me despite being flash. So the regret isn't about just the shock of having tattoos change the look of my body; I just really hate THIS tattoo on ME. I just turned 30 last week, and I wanted to get something on that day to mark the end of one cycle and entrance into a new one. I had an image and the place picked out and everything, and for some reason, based on the deep love of a series of inside jokes, a little beer and birthday euphoria (read: fear of aging) I ended up with something else. It doesn't look bad, it just isn't what I planned, it doesn't communicate anything about the inside joke and just looks like I saw a design and said "oh cool," instead of being interesting. Worse, too, is that my best friend politely indicated that she hated it. The fact that someone I admire so much hates a part of my body filled me with shame and I just can't get over it (I wonder to what extent this isn't a huge factor in my hatred).I am so stuck on what to do. I feel like I can't tell any of my friends that I hate it. I have been obsessively researching laser removal. I did talk to one friend about her removal--she successfully fully removed a tattoo on her back. She said it was so terrible/painful that if I plan on keeping myself tattooed at all, that a cover-up is my best bet. I don't really want to jump the gun on a cover-up; the tattoo is already half an inch bigger than I wanted--a true cover up would end up being huge and garish and probably less "me." I'm also very petite so just a few inches can look huge on me. I'm reluctant to go this route because then it would be even harder to remove if I really decide it needs to go. But my friend strongly discouraged me from laser, so maybe it is better to just cover?So far my method of coping has been to doodling around it with a sharpie to change the design (I'm an artist so it's kind of fun). Instead of admitting my hatred I've just been telling people that "hey, I'm considering changing it to [insert photo]." Reactions have been mixed. Some friends see the new design and go "WHOA it looks like it was always supposed to look like that!" or that it looks more "complete," and one friend even said that the new doodle looks more like "me." But other friends say "aw, I like the original" or "but I love it how it is" and "you should wait on that." My plan tomorrow is to start wearing the sharpie to work to feel it out. Maybe it will start to feel right. Is it worse to jump the gun on a cover up/addition to try and make it better and potentially have to remove a bigger tattoo, or worse to live with something I don't like...? Thanks for reading. I guess in a way I just needed a place where I could vent and just ramble to people since I feel like this is a secret I have to keep from everyone, and you guys have been so supportive. This has never, ever happened before, and I have 7 other tattoos including a half-sleeve. This one itself just kills me. What the hell was I thinking?? Does anyone have any advice on how to make peace, either with the tattoo itself or the decision to hate it and remove it? I am losing sleep over this.