I'm so shocked to find out that Accutane has been discontinued. What a wonderful drug. I took it when I was 26, and now I'm 50. I had always had acne, since about 13. It was an embarrassment during high school. I didn't date, and people made fun of me. It got better during college and returned mid-20s as cystic acne. I thought...NOT AGAIN, but boy, it came back hard. This time, I got deep boil-like pimples that rarely came to a head. I was so humiliated. I had read about Accutane but not many doctors would prescribe it since it was new and had side effects. I finally found one that would, got my prescription, and took my first dose right there in the pharmacy. I was so happy because I knew it was going to change my life...and it did. Immediately, my acne halted in its tracks. Within a week, no new pimples and the old ones were fading. I went crazy eating all the foods that had been off the list for so long---hamburgers, greasy fries, and chocolate, tons of chocolate! For the first time in my entire life, I felt like everyone else. As for the dosage, twice a day, 20 mg I think. They were oval, yellow gel tabs. Headaches were sporadic and the doc said to take tylenol. My final month, I developed severe constipation, and skipped the last few days of treatment. My acne was gone, but the emotional scars stayed. Anyone who's never had acne can't relate to the embarrassment, humiliation, and worthlessness you feel. Even though my acne was completely gone, I found myself avoiding large crowds because I felt like everyone was still staring at my acne. I hugged next to buildings and avoided walking across parking lots for the same reason. I couldn't change the way I felt inside because it was all I'd ever known. I wanted to be different but I was afraid of being laughed at. Then, one day, someone approached me about modeling. I laughed, but they were serious. I tentatively pursued it by dropping some pictures around to agencies. I got offers. I was astonished. Finally I went for my first "shoot" and when I saw the pictures, there was such a disconnect between what my eyes saw and what I felt on the inside. I kept saying "That's not me, that's not me." But it was me. And slowly, my insides started to align with the outside. I moved to Miami and signed with a major agency. That's been 17 years ago and I enjoyed that part of my life. But when you live with acne for so long, it affects how you interact with others and your sense of self worth. Once you fix the outside, you still have to work on the inside. Today, 24 years later, my acne just seems like a bad dream that happened long ago. I'm happy and healthy. Yes, I lost some hair, possibly aided by Accutane, but, for a while there, I had it all---clear skin, full head of hair, and a new attitude. It saddens me to see that it was discontinued. Would I do it again? You bet. In a heartbeat. I remember agonizing about the side effects and worrying something bad would happen to me. Maybe I was lucky. I've always had a pretty tough constitution. I'd like to personally thank Roche Laboratories for giving me a new life. I hope everyone here finds their own "cure," and is able to cope with the aftermath of acne. Best wishes to all.
