Sorry it's long, but bear with me... I'm now 32 years old and have been plagued with extremely oily skin and moderate to severe cystic acne since I hit puberty at age 11. I had tried everything from creams, to washes, to oral antibiotics, restrictive diets, etc. My mother finally conceded to seeing a specialist at age 16 and they immediately recommended Accutane. I listened to the side effects and stipulations of the program and refused. After going on birth control pills, my skin did begin to clear. I continued to see a dermatologist, and every 6 months to a year or so, would have to switch antibiotics or topicals and my entire skincare routine because my skin would begin breaking out again. It was never completely clear and always extremely oily. I waged this war for many more years until I met my husband and we began trying to get pregnant. I was limited on what I could take/use for my acne that was also considered safe for pregnancy. After finally getting pregnant, my skin again went crazy and cysts were out of control again. I never had that "pregnancy glow". Two pregnancies later, the dermatologist again pushed for Accutane. I was still terrified of the side effects and risks and at the time without insurance and paying out of pocket. I refused and began looking for homeopathic remedies. My skin flared. I was miserable, embarrassed, depressed, and crying every time I had to look in the mirror. On "good" days I had to layer on heavy stage makeup and concealers to try to look presentable and hide the painful lumps and scarring. Bad days I never left the house. Sometimes my eyes would swell from the cystic lesions and I couldn't wear my contacts. Th cysts took months to fully heal, and would often come back in the same place. Wearing my glasses was painful as well, they rubbed against my damaged skin. Finally, I had had enough. My depression and anxiety was high and my self esteem was at its lowest. (I'm a photographer, and I even stopped booking sessions because I was ashamed to have clients see me.) I made and appointment with my family doctor and got a referral to yet another derm. I was decidedly done having children so I was ready to consider Accutane as my last resort. He strongly recommended it. I literally prayed for an answer on what to do, because all I had heard was the horror stories. While I was out shopping with my mother, I told her what the dermatologist had said. Overhearing my conversation, a stranger came up to me and told me not to hesitate. To try the Accutane and pray that God would see me through the course without major side effects. She said she personally wished she hadn't waited so long to make the decision herself, but it was the best one she had ever made when she finally did. I felt that was my answer. I began 40 mg daily of Amnesteem right after Christmas. The first month was hell. My entire face became angry and red and all the infection beneath the skin surfaced. It hurt to even lie on my pillow at night. I almost gave up after a few weeks. A couple months in and I wasn't improving. The dermatologist told me it was time to double the dose. I made it two weeks on the twice daily (80mg total) dose before I began waking up to severe panic attacks. (I was already on antidepressants and Xanax.) I linked it to the higher dose and went back down to the 40 mg. The anxiety attacks disappeared in days. My blood tests always came back clean and I never really had any issues with them. However, my mood remained low and the drying, peeling, cracking of the skin and sinuses was rough. I had trouble wearing contacts. My joints and muscles constantly felt bruised and achy. I had insomnia regularly. At 4 months, I was still popping out in cysts, and in areas other than my face. Because I couldn't tolerate the higher dose, the derm prescribed an antibiotic to try to help things along. I took it for a month and my skin began to finally clear. Beginning 5 months in, I was actually improving, but I began to have more and more anxiety and severe mood swings. I was angry and short tempered a lot and had become very depressed. My whole body felt like I'd been hit by a truck. I began to have ringing in my ears that increased to a point that it affected my hearing. After every meal my stomach would hurt and I'd have terrible heartburn and I dreaded having to eat. I stopped taking Accutane abruptly after completing 5 months once I decided to weigh the risks. I knew the anxiety, stomach pain, and tinitus was a sign from my body to stop. I didn't want to push my luck. Now, three months post Amnesteem (5 month course of 40 mg) I am so glad that I finally took that path. My skin has continued to heal, and aside from minor scars, the pigment is returning to normal, the redness is gone, and I haven't had even a small pimple to speak of in 2 months. I still keep antibiotics on hand in case I break out around my period, but haven't needed them, thankfully. I am so grateful that God saw me through it and it literally was an answer to my prayers. 20 years of acne was just too much. It left small scars physically, but I've never had skin so clear and healthy. My self image and mood has improved dramatically. Slowly, the oiliness has returned, but not so much that can't be controlled with Murad oil control lotion in the mornings to absorb the excess shine. I was lucky that my new insurance covered it all but a small copay for the actual drug, but to have these results I would have taken out a loan to afford it even if it hadn't been covered. It was THAT worth it! I would like to say I wish i hadn't waited so long to try it, but that's only partly true. I completely exhausted every other alternative I could think of before committing to iPledge and Accutane. I knew I would never have considered it until I was done having children. I wish I hadn't suffered so long, but I am ever so thankful that I finally did try it. It was hard, but I committed myself to it, and saw it through. I listened to my body and prayed daily. I don't know what the future will bring, but right now I would definitely say to someone if your doctor truly feels it necessary, "DO it!"