Pretty Hurts - The Juice Cleanse

K. Mathews on 27 Jun 2011 at 9:00am

Rand’s first client of the day is Mecca, who expresses an interest in lip injections. Since Mecca’s lips are already fuller than an all-you-can-eat buffet patron, Rand looks panicked. It turns out that Mecca is just kidding, but there really are patients who want procedures that are wholly unnecessary. In actuality, Mecca is visiting Rand because her nose slopes in an unusual manner. Rand injects some filler to puff up the concave, and Mecca smiles at the results. “I love seeing people smile,” Rand says. If a client were ever to be unsatisfied with his work, Rand could just pump her with filler until her mouth looked like it was smiling.

Ajay Rochester on Pretty HurtsThe next patient is Ajay, the former host of The Biggest Loser Australia. Ajay has lost more than 200 pounds, but now wants to lose her forehead wrinkles. While Rand works on her, they discuss her successful weight loss. Though Ajay criticizes fad diets, Rand shows that he’s not paying any attention by deciding that a juice cleanse would be perfect for himself.

Well, not just himself. Rand decides that his staff has seemed unhappy and unhealthy lately, so he’s going to thrust this juice cleanse on them, too. None of his employees seem too keen on the idea, but Rand uses his seniority to coerce them to drink these concoctions. If my boss told me I had to go on a gross diet, I’d pour that juice back on his head. 

In comes a new client, Steffinnie - with two Fs, two Is, two Ns, and 2 Es, she’s super fine, aside from her hyperhidrosis, which means profuse sweating. Steffinnie came to Rand because she’s heard injectables could improve her condition. While this is true, particularly in the armpit regions, it is a little more complicated when it comes to the hands and feet where Steffinnie sweats the most. Not only is it expensive for short-term results, but it requires about 160 needle pokes, which is quite painful. Steffinnie decides to go home and weigh her options, so we’ll just have to sweat out her decision. In the meantime, Rand might want to wipe the moisture off that seat before the next patient.

Rand arranges for exercise equipment to be dropped off at the office. The ladies on staff decide to use their lunch break to play with it “since [they]’re not eating” anyway, haha. We see a funny montage of them trying to figure out the equipment, but no image is quite as arousing as the shot of Joy with a Shake Weight. Sweet dreams, tonight!

Meanwhile, in the waiting room, Kurt runs into a man he once dated. Stuttering, Kurt says hello to “Michael”; if that weren’t awkward enough, the man’s name is actually Tony. That must have been some memorable date. Kurt flees to report this mistake to Rand, and we finally get a cameo appearance from Dr. Norman Leaf. Dr. Leaf doesn’t say anything, but considering that Rand is said to perform his injections under the supervision of Dr. Leaf, it’s nice to see Rand under the doctor's watchful eye, even if all he’s watching is gossip.

Later, Rand complains that his staff has been cranky since starting the juice cleanse. It doesn’t take a genius to see that they’re hungry. Before he can address the issue, Rand has an appointment with Wendy, who has uneven eyebrows. Previously, Wendy had a brow lift that resulted in nerve damage on one side, causing one brow to droop. While Rand cannot reverse the nerve damage, he is able to use injections to lower her normal brow in an attempt to even it all out.

Finally, Rand realizes he can’t force his staff to do a cleanse, so he treats them to dinner to make it up to them. And yes, the meal does include solid food! He decides that as long as they’re happy and healthy, that’s all that matters. Granted, he said they were neither of those things at the beginning of the episode, but a lot can change over the course of a day! For all we know, Steffinnie doesn't sweat anymore! But will she be sweating next week? We'll all just have to tune in to find out.

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Botox before and after