This Is Why You Need A 'Beauty Wingman'

15 Feb 2013 at 9:00am

by Narcissista

Narcissista is the nom de keyboard of a New York ad exec, RealSelf community member, mom, wife, and self-described "beauty veteran" whose online destination,, deliciously and incisively examines the intersection of beauty, anti-aging, and loving (and navigating) life. Look for more of her stuff at Narcissista and check back on RealSelf for more columns soon.


Last year I got an unexpected bonus -- and decided to inject it into my face.

Imagining what “me 2.0″ could look like, I impulsively ran to my dermatologist's office and asked him to make me look less tired.

The result was a dermatologic orgy consisting of Restylane, Botox, microsilicone injections for my upper lip and a Fraxel Restore Dual 1550/1927 laser treatment. I had the head of a pumpkin for 3 days.

Read '10 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Botox'

After I resurfaced to join the human race, I found myself oversharing details of my ordeal with my friends, secretly wanting validation for what I had endured. I got the equivalent of benign Facebook “likes” until I ran into my friend Maria.

“You didn’t really need it,” she said, looking down at her iPhone and then slowly back up at me.

She was right.

Read 'The Thinking Woman's Guide to Being Incredibly Sexy'

It’s almost impossible to get an objective grasp on what we look like because we’re too close. What’s in our head distorts what we’re really seeing in the mirror — too much history and emotional baggage clouds our beauty identity.

This is why you need a Beauty Wingman. These women are not merely your friends, they are your heroes. They have the guts to tell you the truth and serve it up with love. You probably know who they are already ... 

Click over to Narcissista for her full journey to finding a Beauty Wingman and for tips on choosing your B.W. 

Do you have a Beauty Wingman? Share your story with us below.